I guess I am the minority here. I was the entire marriage a SAHM. It was a joint decision, one that I will never regret.

As for contributions to the marriage, fortunately I was lucky enough to have parents that were finacially well off, and through out the last half of our marriage, (28yr) gifted to us their allotted amount yearly, plus they gifted us the house that we live in, free and clear. So in a sense I did contribute to the marriage thru my parents. We never once had to make a house payment, and basically through the gifts from my parents to both of us, it was like the salary of a full time job.

But then that all came back at me because of all of our good fortune, he felt so sorry for the OW because she was single, working full time and raising his 2 OC and another one of her own. He was paying support. But he began to resent the fact that I didnt work outside the home, and he was the breadwinner. None of that bitterness came out until the divorce process.

Tina

We have been married over 11 yrs and I have been a SAHM for 95% of that time BUT I was doing "other things" at the same time.

The first 1 1/2 yrs. of our marriage I was @ home w/baby, living w/ in laws (we were pg and married @ 19), H working part time and school part time, next 3 or 4 yrs I was in school full time, H was working full time and school part-time and year 3 or 4 A w/ OW.

Finally quit school after realizing I was wasting MY time and missing son's life, went howe to be full-time SAHM.

Financial strain....H excessive spender, every aspect of life out of control, A, bankruptcy, H laid off for awhile, I got a part-time job....D-DAY.....seperate, work part time while living w/ friends. OW says NC, we agree.

Get back together, BC starting K, we make life decision to "homeschool". Life is good. Next baby arrives. Life is better.

(Edited to add: BTW; majority of mothers in our "homeschool group" do some form of "work" (mostly outside of the home) part-time to earn extra income while homeschooling and raising family)

Then another baby expected...and getting sued for CS, life sucks. I trust court system will be fair and consider our BC welfare. I'm wrong. H loses 20% of income for CS....MUST get job to make up for difference. H has changed jobs for medical (his) and emotional(mine) reasons and now makes even less but CS based on og income (takes time to get changes made)

I am blessed that I can still be a SAHM and homeschool while earning extra income to make up for difference. My grandma has alzhiemers/dementia so I watch her 2 days out of the week for the extra income I earn.

OW has made comments to me that implied her "bitterness" towards MY life compared to her "hard" life and I finally got so tired of it that I finally told her I HAD to work to make up for difference in loss of income because of CS. But she sees all the legal/court paper work so she should know, she chooses to work "part-time" (and makes way more than me! and gets welfare & CS) and go to school during the day, and she chose to have another child w/no father.

NEVER were we in the life of luxury. We were/are living paycheck to paycheck and we own nothing. But we had made a choice in our lifestyle to live how we were. Things were tight but we were "ok", definately no luxury but very blessed by our choices.

Did all our Christmas shopping @ the thrift store. No complaints, I've learned to make frugalness into an artform. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Our children (all 4 including OC) were more than spoiled this Christmas and received more from us then they ever had in the past and I'm proud to say I don't think I spent more than $20 per kid. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> (we live in a very materialistic society and I take full advantage of the "overabundance" of practically brand new toys and clothes @ the thrift store in my neighborhood <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> )

So I think, looking @ us from the "outside" or maybe from OW point of view, maybe we live the "high life" but our family, friends and pocket book, know the truth! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<small>[ December 26, 2003, 12:57 PM: Message edited by: ktbunch ]</small>

I have worked full time since the day I got out of college.
After the birth of my child I went back to work when he was 4 days old.
H took a year off to "find "himself <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> and I was the sole breadwinner for that entire year.

<small>[ January 12, 2004, 01:16 PM: Message edited by: litlone ]</small>

kt bunch,
dont feel bad about the thrift stores, my mother taught us girls young how to stretch our dollars, if not for those stores, we would not have our home furnished as cozy as it is and our children wouldnt have all the neat stuff i find. and their clothes designer finds are a bargain, no one would have guessed. it is amazing what you can find. it has truly helped us stretch our finances. most of my kids love to shop there or garage sales, yet my oldest daughter hates them, yet she cant wait to see what i have gotten for her and my granddaughters, even her girlfriend who wont step foot into one, will give me requests to find her things. she is amazed what i find. I enjoy bargain hunting.

KT and FH my dad was/is the same way. We had a large family and my parents shoped alot a thrift stores. In fact my dad stills shops there. He has alztimers (sp?) but he has not forgotten a deal. He knows the days that they put out new things and makes my mom drive him down there. It's his weekly outing. I'll be doing more of it too in the coming months and I'm not ashamed to have to do it. My kids are into dress up clothes now and if you've checked the prices at Wal-mart they are 20.00 plus a piece. I get there dress up dresses there and am able to get them like 3 or 4 for that amount. So in totaly agreement with you girls.