Hi everyone,
Happy New Year and blessings to all of you.Well My H and I haven't really talked about what has happened ,kind of put things on hold for the holidays. We did have a good Xmas,despite eveeryting but it was also different.Last night we went out to get something to eat,I kind of started talking about things.Just asked if she ( ow) has called ,she has ,but he says they don't talk for that long,She seems upset that he didn't really talk to her over the holidays and her birthday. He still says the same thing ,he can't abandon her, let her go through this alone.He said she has not asked him to do anything yet, to see her ,or what his plans are. My issue with this is him talking to her privately, how do I really know what is being said--I DON'T.I told him I want to know exactly where he stands ,I need some kind of plan ,just can't stay in limbo.He gets frustrated because I want an answer, he doesn't have one. He thinks there is no solution, I feel there is if it is me and his marriage he wants. He wants to try to keep both relationships,even though he says he doesn't want to leave me. My friend tells me I should give him a deadline ,make my boundaries clear this is what I want and will accept, and give him so many days to decide. If he can't do it that way tell him to leave.My H councelor even told him that we (me and ow) will decide. I told him last night that I will not allow him to go see her or carry on any type of relationship with her. Her parents supposedly don't want her talking to him. Maybe he waiting for her to get sick of this and stop contact on her own. I feel this great urge to talk to her. I just knew that all these feelings would come flooding back. I hate this . I don't want to star another year like this again. I feel I have already wasted 1 year of my life.I just wish he could see there is a solution,see that I am willing to make this work.I wish someone could say something that will make him wake up.