Dear litlone~
I wanted to bump your post up and welcome you to MB, although as usual not under happy circumstances. It is a wonderful site, loaded w/ valuable information and many helpful posters.
The weekends are generally slow. I'm sure, come Monday, (hopefully sooner) you will begin to get replies from the regulars/veterans that can much better help you than I can. I remember what it was like being new, and waiting for my first response.
In the meantime, I hope you will look at the site. Click on the Concepts and Q&A at the top of the page, (if you've not already done so). It's great to print it all out, but if not all of it, I would suggest printing out the info on Policy of Joint Agreement, (especially helpful when OC is involved). Also, a wonderful book to order is Surviving An Affair. It gives a lot of insight as to how/why an A begins in the 1st place, as well as goes over the dynamics of, as the title suggests, surviving it! Are you in any kind of counseling, even if your H won't do MC at this time? If not, you should look into doing IC w/ the Harleys over the phone.
The whole OC situation makes things even more complex, but I believe I've heard/read that more marriages actually survive an A when OC resulted than those that didn't result in an OC. Somebody will correct me if I'm wrong.
Just wanted you to know that there is hope.
Also, in the scheme of things, it has NOT been long at all for you since discovery, so it's perfectly natural that you still need to talk about it. Besides that, many issues still need to be resolved for you and your H. Not the least of which, you should be your H's numero uno concern, and he should be doing everything to make you feel cared for and protected.
Why is your H talking to x-ow directly? Do you have an attorney?
You've come to a good place to talk, as well as listen and learn. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
Take good care of yourself!
~autumnday
