I posted before under devestated but I feel this board might understand my situation better.

I've been married for 8yrs together with my husband 13yrs I'm 29 we've had an ok marriage aside that we did fight alot because of his drinking and hanging out late nights with the guys I have a short temper when it came down to tolerate that and he knew it. our fights at times got physical on my part (not to excuse it but he knew how to push my buttons). other wise marrige was good when he paid attention to me and spent time with me. up until a few months ago he started getting very distant we were not even sharing a bed he would sleep on the couch. the signs now that I look back on them were all their but somehow I didn't pick up then. he works a p/t job and he is a supervisor a few months ago an 18 yr old started working their. sometimes he would talk to me about her, saying that one of the guys their was after her but she would ignore him since her boyfriend worked with the same company but different location. my H would just try and make simple conversation about her but I never picked it up since he did say they had a very strict sexual harrasment policy at the company I never would have thought he would persue an 18 yr old.

About a month ago I found a cell # on his cell and questioned him about it because of the length of the call he simply stated that the OW had given him that number because he was planning on moving out and her step father had a spare room I blew up and asked him why he had to tell his coworkers even worse an 18 yr old our probs. we left every thing at that. I called the # and asked for the girl she never picked up (now I know it was her friends cell#.) I threatened him that I was gonna confront her and he swore nothing was going on and that I could get him fired if I did because of her age. so I left it at that a week later he came home angry with me because he says she quit because she found out I was looking for her (which I WASN'T). he said he felt sorry for her because she needed the job since she has a 1yr old I ASKED HIM WHY SHE FELT GUILTY.this led to many more fights one including him comming home at 7am on a Monday morning right then and their I kicked him out.later on I found out he had stayed with this OW all night they have been talkin for a while with out my realizing it meanwhile everyone in the workplace and her mom knew what was going on, he was confronted by her mom and he denied everything, his boss also confronted him he also denied it (how do I know all this I spoke to her mom for about 40 min she cried on the phone with me she said she had wanted to talk to me but didn't know who I was or how to get intouch with me, her marriage was destroyed just like mine she said she had talked to her daughter but she just ignored her. as far as his boss I asked him if he ever noticed anything and he said they were talkign alot but that my husband denied everything I told him the whole truth about them.
I also spoke to the girls X and he said he had confronted my H and again denied. how I found outabout all of this before contacting these people I rented a car and followed my H until I found them together I confronted them punched her and smacked him twice( I don't condone violence but I wasn't in the right state of mind)they are now living together and she might be pregnat by my husband 95% sure why do I still want him back????

He won't even talk to me or come see our 3 yr old son which loves his dad and is always mentioning him. he says he hates me never wants me back and that I never made him happy that his OW makes him happy. I have not tried to contact him either. I went to file for child custody spousal support and whatever I can get as he has abandoned his primary job not going in for about 2wks. aside from this he has been doing drugs and is drinking alot more he even got into a fight with some guy at a bar I feel he may be a threat to my son.He blames me for his actions, why do I NOT HATE HIM FOR ALL HE HAS PUT ME THROUGH AND HIS SON?? WHY WOULD I TAKE HIM BACK in a heart beat (not that I THINK HE WOULD COME BACK) I HOPE BUT KNOW HE WON'T AND NOW WITH HER PREGNAT EVEN WORSE. I'm trying to distance my self hoping he will realize what he's done what he's lost but he's acting like a teenager he's even going to the mall with her something he hates to do. meanwhile OW's mom and X have my #'s incase any new news comes up ,OW'S mom didn't know she may be preg I HOPE NOT!!
how can a 18yr old with no job still in high school and a 1 yr old make him happy???
I LOVE THIS MAN AND CAN'T EXCEPT IT'S OVER
by the way the confrontation was at his brothers house now the whole family knows what is going on. how Embarresin.....SORRY SO LONG and it's the short version

Destiny,

Incase you haven't received a formal welcome, I'd like to welcome you to Marriage Builders. Not a place where any of us hoped to meet but a great place for advice, help and support on rebuilding your marriage.

PLEASE read ALL parts of this site, including the official Welcome for all New Builders Lots of VERY useful information there to help you get around and understand this site.

I've read your post and your past posts. Sounds like there are several serious problems going on in addition to the infidelity and possible OC...
drinking, drugs, loss of job(s) and physical abuse. Sounds like you have alot on your plate to deal with and my best suggestion would be to start on concentrating on YOU. Take care of you and your baby. Get counseling to learn an acceptable way of expressing your anger other than violence. Counseling will also help you to deal with the stress going on in your marriage. Get legal help to protect you and your child.

And start reading. Read all you can on this site and the suggested reading materials. You can't change him but you CAN change you and the way you respond to him. And those changes alone will make a HUGE difference in your life.

Stay strong! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I can relate, been there done that, my hubby left for 2 months, after 17years, and the girl, no job, no house , no car, and major welfare freak, total burden to the tax payers. she 's now trying to get him for child support.
email me>>> oneilsigns@modempool.com maybe we can trade ideas.