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Joined: May 1999
Posts: 333
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Joined: May 1999
Posts: 333 |
My H seems to think that his counseling will not help.. Our counselor goes a lot into his childhood.. My H sees no connection with this and doesnt think it will help.. H says its a situation he got himself into, and needs to learn how to get out of. H accepts the addiction and withdrawal stuff and reads everything I give to him about that. Any suggestions (he wont pay S Harley 70 dollars a crack for phone counseling).. Are there other counselors out there that believe in Harleys theories, and counsel on them? If we could find one, and our insurance will pay for it, my H may go for it.. Anyone have any input??
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Joined: May 1999
Posts: 3,758
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Joined: May 1999
Posts: 3,758 |
I read on this site that many therapists have adopted the Harley principles because they work. Traditional marriage counselors only have 20 something percent chance of working. <P>If I were you, Mickey - I would call MB and see if they can refer husband to a counselor that uses the Harley principles in your area.<P>I don't think revisiting childhood is going to help your husband in his withdrawal.<P>You keep up your good work. I'm proud of you.
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Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 726
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Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 726 |
mickey65,<P>I agree with your husband about the childhood stuff. That has no bearing on my situation either. I had a completely normal childhood. I skipped that whole section in "After the Affair"!! ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif) <P>Get another councellor. Just cuz one ain't working, don't give up on councelling all together. I agree with trustntruth, get a recommendation from the MB!<P>--andy
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Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 6,937
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Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 6,937 |
mickey,<P>The current counselor you have appears to be practicing psychoanalysis. This has a spotty reputation for actually working in marriage counseling (which deals with more than one person). I agree with your husband: what the heck is the point about his childhood. The current issue is his behaviors, your behaviors, and what to do for the marriage.<P>Find another counselor who is either familiar with Harley's principles and uses them in their counseling, or who is a behavioralist (MB stuff is behavioralist---you're learning how to act) or a "Solution-oriented brief therapist (SBT---along "Divorcebusting" guidelines). These types of therapists have a higher degree of success in counseling marriages.
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