Hi Guys,

It's been a long time since I've posted and well I think of you all from time to time. Especially Pops and Fullhouse and to you specially I just wanted to say "Hi... and keep on loving each other and all those wonderful kids."

I really envy you both. I know you've both put in the hard work to continue to build together.

I havn't logged on for at least two months ( probably longer ) as my PC has been broken and I'm still in the thick of the aftermath ( after 3 and a half years ! ). Also I'm only in my home 3 nights a week and the only tine to catch up is in the small hours ( it's now 2am ).

I wish I could tell you a good story but I'm afraid it's all bad. WW has now dropped father of OC and has another man in her life, she wants her half of our estate and doesn't want to be reconciled ( by her actions - we don't talk much now ). I think she feels that to be back with me would be way too hard... for a lot of reasons.
I don't understand it, I hate, it but if we are ever back together, it will be Gods doing, and should be world news.

I've been inspired by Hosea in the Old Testament but my situation is harder than his was. More kids and OM wanting to be involved a lot.

We're going through the Asset division and Child custody thing in court. I've told my kids what is going to happen - that Dad is going to move out but that I'm always going to be there for them as much as poss. The end of my dreams and the beginning of a new chapter in all of our lives. Still very painful as I expect it to be for some time. This is the last thing I ever wanted.

My decision to give her the house was probably the hardest decision I've ever made - agonising. In the end it came down to my desire to keep working and providing for my family. This means that she needs the facilities our house has. I've done it for the kids - don't know if it's the right thing but it's done now ( or good as ).

So now I've got to learn how to be a Dad with 6 kids coming to my place ( haven't bought it yet ) 2 out of 3 weekends and a week during school holidays. I'm going to miss my dear wifes input in decision making as she is now quite a differnt woman to the woman I married, and it's not easy to talk.

I didn't mean to fill your heads with doom and gloom. But the realities of not being reconciled are pretty hard.

Just want to encourage you to hang in there and I think you're doing an awesome job.

God Bless

Frof8

PS - It'll probably be a week minimum before I get back to this.

fo8,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, it's good to here from you again. so sorry that you couldn't bring us better news of your marital recovery.

when fh and i were in the thick of our turbulence a good friend of mine who had 5 kids with his w were in the process of a divorce. they could speak to each other and if they both attended one of the kids sporting events they had to sit on opposite sides so as not to get into a brawl. they have remained separated but can now speak civily to each other.

you know the story of hosea was originally the subject of a sermon at church when fh was first starting her A. it helped me keep some hope and from throwing in the towel early.

you will be a great single dad once you get into your new place. write when you can.

Hi Pops,

Thanks for the encouragement.

I’ve just been reading my weekly mail at 11pm on Friday night.

At Court this week we reached agreement on Property and Custody. It’s all signed up now but all my stuff is still all at home.

My lawyer’s letter has brought me the shock news that I need to be out of my home by 1 April. With only legal access in the weekends it means I need to move tomorrow. ( Today is Friday and it’s the last weekend before 1 April ). Slacks me off as I also need to do all of the property transfer administration by 1 May. That won’t be easy while living in temporary accommodation with relatives. It’s quite a complex setup.

In a way it’s a relief to have a decision on all of the material stuff and the kids etc. Now I’ll live cheaply for a while until I can pay off my legal bills. The next few months are going to be a pretty hard time while I get settled as a “Married single with 8 kids” . Any takers girls ? ( Just kidding ).

I’ve signed up in a support group for Separated and Divorced people. That is good. Somehow got to get my head straight and learn to deal with this grief etc and look forward, set some new goals etc. Not easy but I know that in myself I’m picking up slowly – sure takes time though.

Anyway, It’ll be a quick phone call to my lawyer early tomorrow ( hope she’s home ) and then I might be moving house. ( That is a big job ).

You’re always so positive Pops and I appreciate you being there.

I’ll be back – but I don’t know when.

Regards to Fullhouse ok

God Bless

Fo8

Fatherof8,
How sad to hear of your impending divorce.

I meant to address this long ago and am so sorry I didn't.
I wish you godspeed....
and peace....

love
Debi

Debi,

Thanks for your kind words.

I've started moving out and have half of my stuff moved. It's going to be a good day tomorrow being Easter Sunday. Kids at the table for breakfast and an Easter Egg hunt. etc.

I'm learning to appreciate the good things in life... like kids and people.

We had a great time on Friday night in front of the fire and I read them some of Lukes gospel account of Jesus' trial etc. ...talk about a raw deal... Put's our troubles in perspective...

I'm getting my head around this thing now and have set some goals to keep me busy ( instead of lonely - I hope ).

I've given the PC to the family so again I might be out of touch for a while ( until I get a new one ). Also got some good tapes by a Christian Psycologist about relationships. Lots of good stuff in there to learn from.

This change of address could be the best or worst thing ever for me. Somehow I intend to make it for good.

Will catch up again sometime.

God Bless - The battle is not over, and we know who wins.

Fo8

Sure sounds like you are a survivor FatherOf8.

Hope you continue to do a little better each day.

See you when you get your new computer!

Debi

fo8,,,,,,,,,,, good to hear from you again. sorry i didn't respond to your last post but a couple of days after i read it i recieved some news that i had to go back into the hospital for some more work. i am out now and raring to go but fh keeps me shackled to the sofa with the excuse i need to take it easy. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

i am glad to here that you are going to have a nice easter morning with your kids and you are getting into your new place. man i hate moving. hey maybe that is the reason i stayed married to fh? i just didn't want to move. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> yeah right!!

you will be a great single dad as you have been that for longer then you probably realize already.

with eight kids i can't see i an active dad like you ever finding time to be lonely. those kids and their activities will kep you running 24/7.

and being involved with them will not only keep the ugly thoughts away but give you a chance to interact with other parents. you will adjust and move on. you'll be fine.

it is easy to see in your writings that you are looking in the right direction for quidence and have a great attitude for survival. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

best of luck. pops