I'm going to see my attorney on the papers for the seperation. I just feel I have to do this. We talked again on thursday. He really doesn't want to make waves! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> She's agreed on te amount and when he can se the OC. I told him there is no way I'm trusting her w/ my life. So I'm just going to do what I need to do. I'm not comfortable with the way he is acting and don't know why he saids one thing one day and goes to something else the next. Told me thursday if I couldn't handle it them he could just leave. So I'll do the papers and if he feels he needs to leave then he will be free to go. Then friday we are at our cabin and the OW calls, has to talk to him for one minute. She asked him about her lawn mower? Told him he's not her husband and she needs to call her dad. I just don't know anymore and more confused by the day. I really know how much this is going to hurt my D. But I'm tired of being hurt also. He acts like I shouldn't say anything about her calling? I guess if I have a man start calling me then he would feel different. He knows I would never have an A, but really been thinking about it just to let him see what its like. I know its just the devil talking but I'm at my witts end and this is all I can do and then I guess if he needs to go "down the driveway" like he told me thursday he can. I really didn't think I would give up, but I feel there is nothing more I can do but keep making a fool of myself. Plus had to send sat noght with SIL. I did tell her I didn't appreicate her talking to the OW, and calling her. Told her I felt too many people putting knoves in my back and I was tired. It's not that I can't handle the OC thing, it's the constant contact that I am tired of. It's just not right. Well wish me luck. And say a prayer for me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

<small>[ March 24, 2004, 12:15 PM: Message edited by: sunnydale ]</small>

Sunny,

You have been on my mind, I was hoping things were going better for you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I don't know what to say to you other than, to try to stay calm & not let anger control your decisions right now, I feel your frustration & pain, it seems as if H's should know that they can't take a laid back attitude & kind of straddle the fence after they helped to create all this turmoil, but the more I read here, all WS's do it in some shape, form or fashion.

Trying to follow Plan A is a b&%#h I know, but I believe it will work for you along with not taking any crap from OW or H right now, not a very easy task. I know I am probably not making any sense, but I do know how you feel, & I know some one will tell you something that does make sense, so I will shut up for now.

Keep praying though, don't give up! I am praying for you too.

Did he really say "I don't want to make waves?"

Sorry, if he did, then look him dead square in the eye and tell him "honey, you have not created waves in this home, you have created a full blown hurricane.." Then explain to him that you are filing for separation papers and why. But you need to be totally and completely true to yourself. Tell him that you are going to file a restraining order on her for harrassment.

Also, it makes not one itty-bitty difference what she says she is going to do or what she agrees to. She can run to the courts anytime she gets upset and get the state mandated amount. So, why not get it set up legally, from the get go.

God this woman is a real nut case. She sounds like a classic manipulatiave shrew. She is another classic example of why to handle it all legally from the get to. This one is trouble.

Geesh. I know this is marriage builders, but if that were me, his butt would be out on the curb. Get him a new cell and toss the other. Change your phone lines, etc. Do not give his family the number either.

OW called H @ your cabin? What the heck!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Oh no, you need to stand up for yourself RIGHT NOW! You get that lawyer and you get it all settled just like Lynn said INCLUDING the harrassment charges.

OW obviously still wants H. OW is going to try and make your life miserable and OW is making it clear that she will not give up without a fight so niether should you!

OW is trying to get to you even by making herself a petty annoyance.

BRING IT ON! Except you will not stoop to her level! You will do it with grace and class and LEGALLY!

You go sunny and do what you need to do to secure your future and that of your D!!!!

The attorney is getting everything ready. I'm just not willing to continue if the contact doesn't stop. Tired, fed up, and like I said he puts on a real good show, but then he tells me, we have plenty of time to do this? I haven't heard from the job so I'm emailing the guy today. I just so want to leave. To be 3 hours away from all this [censored]! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> I have to wait 30 days on my car, (it was stolen) so I don't even have a car. I really don't know how long I can go w/o picking up the phone to call her. It gets harder everyday. I'm ready when she calls the house too. I'm not going to just hand the phone to him anymore. My attorney said the laws have changed and she is checking to see what all we need to do. And when he gets the papers this time he will know why. And I'm not leaving or running he will. I went to the attorney for her state and he gave me someone else to talk to. He said this guy did more of these kinds of cases. So I've got to get a hold of him and go see him. I really want to beleive him, but I'm having doubts now. I'm not fighting over this, told him I was seirous and she wasn't controling my life. We talked about it, he said he was going to put us first, but he has never said he was going to stop contact. I just told him, he needed to because I wasn't going to deal w/ it anymore. And your right he has started a hurricane, and its a cat 5 ! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> I just don't know how to explain everything to my D. She has been though so much and I hurt for her. She may be feeling the conflict though because she is like been up my butt. She wants to sleep w/ me, wants me in the bathroom when shes taking a shower, in the same room w/ her. (Don't know whats going on there) We don't talk about stuff in front of her, but maybe she just feels it. All these attorneies and retainer fees! OMG! I will never get out of debt.
I read over plan A and B again. I've tried both, maybe it was backwards but I did them. I don't know what else to do, how to get it across to him that, THAT"S IT! <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> I wanted to see everything work, but I'm sure OW is just over there laughing her A off at me and that is eating at me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

<small>[ March 24, 2004, 12:10 PM: Message edited by: sunnydale ]</small>