Well I think I have come to the end of my rope. This am looked at his phone and again there is another call. He called her yesterday morning. Get this, we make love before he leaves for work and he gets in his car and calls her? So whats that about ? I'm at my witts end. So my thing is I thought about writing a letter, or do I tell him in person ? I just can't do this anymore. My heart is broke and emotionally drained. Does he think I'm just going to let the contact continue? I think I will tell him in person. I just don't want it to turn into this one more chance things. Keeps telling me he loves me and he's soooo happy ect. And hearing some of the storiies here, most of the WS quit contact, so why doesn't he? Because I guess he wants to have two families, I can't do that. OW is not going anywhere so I guess I have to deal with it or leave. Plan A states to be patient, but its been since Nov when he came home and made the commintment to work on our marriage, then in dec she gets preg, so 1-1-04 is (as he puts it) is our start over date. I'm lost dont know which way to go. My attorney is looking in to the laws for support and seperation stuff, but I think I need to go ahead and just file for the divorce. Cost me almost 9,000.00 last year and I stopped the divorce, because I beleived him. Now I have to start all over with this crap. I feel like putting my child in a car and just driving, go anywhere far away and call him when I get there. Oh I'm sure he will do his "I love you so much and nothing is worth loosing you and D" but then he turns around and calls her ? Is this normal, and I over reacting ? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> I'm sure the OW is laughing her butt off at me also. Or at least thats the way I feel about it. Don't know what they are talking about hadn't asked yet. I'm sure he would lie about it. So would she if I called her. I just lost and can't find my way out of this maze. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

After he left you looked @ his phone? Is he just leavign it lying around for you to see? What the HECK is HE doing?

Ok it sounds like he even has it all out in the open now or what?

I don't know what to say. GET TO THAT LAWYER AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!

Maybe it's time for PLAN B!!!!

You do NOT have to put up w/ this one more second!!!!

It's way past time to choose! You need to conserve any love you have left for your H and I htink that means physical separation.

I know soem think that will push H right into the arms of OW but what is he doing NOW? Sounds like he is already having his cake and eating it too!!!!!

I really don't know what else to tell you but I am sooo sorry for you and what an IDIOT your H is being to you and D!

Sunny,

I saw your post yesterday & I wanted to reply but didn't know what to say, except I am so sorry, I know the up & down feeling of helplessness you are experiencing, H knows you are having things made legal & that you are against C w/ OW right now correct? What is there to talk about?????

I don't blame you one bit for feeling the way you do & I know you can't help but feel that something more is going on, I feel the same way. I know my H talks to OW everyday & most likely sees her everyday too, of course he claims he doesn't. other than D, how can I stop it? That is why I do agree you should let H know now that you will not tolerate this continued C. If OW is carrying OC for your H she has to deal w/ that & C or N/C later on, but she must be put in her place & that is up to H to do & quickly.

Yes Plan A involves much patience, & if you started it 1/1/04 you are only 1/2 way into 6 months so are you making a hasty decision to file for a D? Only you can answer that, I just wish I could say something more encouraging to you. Maybe D papers would be his "wake up & step out of the fog" call. But who wants to spend $ like that.

Pray over this long & hard Sunny before you make a decision out of anger & frustration you may regret later, from what I have read here you should be doing the legal paperwork to protect your D, but be sure if you go the divorce route you are really ready to. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

I am praying that God will give grace & wisdom about the situation that is before you.

Well if I do the D then he will have a chance to go though the preg w/ her and the birth. I don't think this would be wise. It would only make them closer. I don't know what they are talking about. I'm just going to sit him down and ask. What do you need to talk about, her lawn mower again. Why the preg ***** is not going to use it. She didn't use it before. She's lazy,her house shows this, her yard, her car. I like yard work, matter of fact did my yard last night. I'm always up doing something. He told me when we first got back together that if he could put 1/2 her and 1/2 me together, (He's brain dead) But I think it was because of the sex thing. I told him didn't feel I could make love to someone I didn't like and when I filed for the D I DIDN'T LIKE HIM AT ALL. Always gone and then daddy's home let's everyone drop what you had planned and be w/ dad. Nothing I did was good enough and always gripping. But now he has no reason. Iv'e done everything and only asked him to do one thing and that is cut off contact. Then again friday when she called the cabin he said I should have called her back she had been leaving voice mails and he hadn't called her so she called the house. Maybe he feels he has to so she doesn't call the house and get me mad and upset. i'm not changing my numbers she would only get them again SIL and some of our friends know her. So why spend the money ? I guess I'm going to calm down for now and just try and talk to him. And go from there.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Well if I do the D then he will have a chance to go though the preg w/ her and the birth. I don't think this would be wise. It would only make them closer. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">NO - you do not want him to go through pg. w/ her & be in delivery room, definitely gives them more memories.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I don't know what they are talking about. I'm just going to sit him down and ask. What do you need to talk about, </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">There is nothing to talk about!!!!!! She is just being a bi*&h!!!! cuz she knows she can. It needs to stop - he needs to stop it!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> He told me when we first got back together that if he could put 1/2 her and 1/2 me together, (He's brain dead) But I think it was because of the sex thing. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Sunny there is no reason to say that to your spouse, even if you feel that way. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Iv'e done everything and only asked him to do one thing and that is cut off contact. Then again friday when she called the cabin he said I should have called her back she had been leaving voice mails and he hadn't called her so she called the house. Maybe he feels he has to so she doesn't call the house and get me mad and upset. i'm not changing my numbers she would only get them again SIL and some of our friends know her. So why spend the money ? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">OW wants nothing more than to piss you off w/ her game playing & wants you to put H out!! Don't do it! My H's OW called my house to tell me H was coming home & again the next day cuz he didn't answer his cell, I went off on her & changed my #. H didn't get it until recently! There is no reason for her to call him much less at your house or cabin, she is off the hook!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I guess I'm going to calm down for now and just try and talk to him. And go from there. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I wish you the best Sunny, don't give in to OW games, maybe in the meantime (Plan A) H will come around I hope.

Don't know, just reall tired right now. I just want to slap the [censored] out of both of them and go on. I don't know who to believe or trust and thats not good. But like I said I'm ready when she calls again. I have a speech ready! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> And if she calls me its a free for all !!! I will try and be nice, LOL. I guess I'll have to start taking my pills every day again. The devil has a way of getting into your minds and creating things for you to think about. Ad should read Adivan the brain devil killer. LOl. I'm planning a weekend w/ my girl friend at the cabin. Let him baby sit. I need sometime away right now. Thanks for your prayers and hope your situation is doing better. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Sunny,

I hope OW doesn't call, if you get into it w/ her on the phone, most likely you are the one who will be labled "the bad guy". OW would love nothing more than to tell H how the "Big Bad W" went off on her & hurt her little feelings. The devil will definitely put really bad thoughts in your head & urge you to act on them, try to resist.

Getting away will be good for you. I would love to go somewhere too without H, away from thinking about "the mess" for once in almost 2 years.

Keep praying & keep your hands to yourself, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> picture slapping them both instead of doing it, not as much satisfaction but better than buying more trouble right now.

I know I need to keep mouth shut and hands to my self!! I get so frustrated!! I did sit him down and we talked,not agrued about the phone call and how I feel and how he feels. He doesn't want her to call the house and he did tell her her lawn mower wasn't his problem. He said she left yet another voice mail JUST HAD TO TALK TO HIM. All it was about the doc visit on monday and she's doing fine and the baby is fine she can go back to work now. Shes been off since the incounter at the concert, been bleeding. (She did it) but if she had lost the baby it would have been my fault. He has assured me again that he will stay with me and D and doesn't want to be a part of her and her child like he is with us. We are first and it will always be that way. I also wrote in his book that he keeps with his papers reminding him of what he has promised. I'm wading it out and see what happens from here. He said we will go see the attorney in a couple of months, he really doesn't think she will carry the baby the way she's been having trouble. But she is 12 weeks now so she could still miscarry. I know she doesn't take care of herself. I just don't want her to have it say at 25-30 weeks and be in the hospital for a long time, she would make us split the bill. Even though we had nothing to do w/ her not taking care of herself. You know she's under so much stress!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> I feel better today and just hope he means what he saids and I'm holding him to it.

I am glad you struck no one! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> I know you are trying to hold it together & it ain't easy I am getting pissed for you, OW is calling to be a pest, there is no proof OC even belongs to your H, so there is nothing to talk about! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Are you still going to do your legal papers for separation? Why is he waiting a couple of months to go?

I am glad you & H were able to talk, - not argue about all this. OW shows no signs of backing off & wants to pull H into this pg. w/ her from now til the end, it is not his problem & definitely not yours!

I am happy you are having a better day today, remember "No weapon formed against you shall prosper...."

He feels she may not carry it. And doesn't want to spend all the money on an attorney right now. I have things in the works for the seperation papers and I am going to cover myself and he knows it. No there is nothing for them to talk about the phone call was fo r6 mins and he said he just listen and got off the phone. He said if he does that then she doesn't call and upset me. I told him that it made me look stupid because he calls her. He said she knows the reason I call her is so she will leave you alone. H said I didn't deserve to be bothered and she will eventully, quit. He said he doesn't call unless she calls him and sometimes it's days after. He said he was not going to hurt me and D any longer and is going to make sure she doesn't either. And reading (the other side) I think most of them do get the idea and go away. I have to beleive he wants to be here because he is and most of the time makes an effort to prove to me that he is sincere. The attorney thing is the one thing that he has not done and quit all contact, and he said it was coming and we would make sure everything is done legal. So, I guess I wait?

Yeah, wait & follow Plan A, that is what I am doing also.

Kinda sucks but what is the alternative????