I really don't know what I would have done w/o the advise that ya'll have given me. I just don't get why the OW are allowed on this sight. All they do is come over here and take the pain they caused and then make fun of us? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> I'm really uncomfortable with that. I don't know how to get to the private section, maybe it would be differt there. For all I know the OW in my life could be one of them. At first I felt safe, but now I just feel like someone has just took my pain and the pain of others here, and just made jokes about it. If anyone could tell me if the private section is safer than let me know. Other wise I would love some of you to give me your email address so we can stay in touch. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Sunny,
You need to e-mail tempest with your request for access to the private board.

Don't go, there are a bunch of us that are here to help people that are new like you. I've been away from the boards for a while but came out of 'semi-retirement'....

Don't let the OW's get to you. They have their own pain they have to deal with and it's not worth letting them get to you.

Hang in there and hope to see you continue posting.

Twiisty

sunnydale...

Yes, the Private board has more security...
Email Tempest for access.

I stopped posting for a while because of the attacks and various other reasons... but have decided to come out of semi-retirement to try to lend a helping hand, supportive heart and understanding ear.

This is a difficult situation to handle.. and one that is very hard to handle without some form of support.

Prayers for you.
Stacia

Sunnydale,

All you have to do is email Tempest or Justuss. Their email links are at the top of the forum home page. Please don't leave, as there are so many here who have been through what you are dealing with! I have not followed your story as closely, but feel that you should stick around! I know that at the beginning, the pain seems unbareable, but you can and will get past that point! I know it's hard to ignore those who come to stir up trouble, or cause more pain, but you will get to that point as well!

Hope you stick around.

Tigger

Sunnydale,

I don't know which post here caused you so much pain but, PLEASE, when you find an upsetting post, click on your "moderator alert" at the bottom of that post to bring it to my attention. I can't promise every post will be deleted or edited but I WILL try my best. I am VERY protective of my wonderful STRONG ladies (and gentlemen, pops!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ) on this forum! Sometimes the post in question is not THAT bad and our faithful members have taken care of the problem before I see it!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> )

To join the "Private" board please contact Tempest. She is the ONLY one that can approve membership to the new board.

To request access, email tempest@mhcable.com include your member name, member number and the e-mail address you use in your forum profile.

Wishing you strength, peace and continued healing on this difficult journey! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Sunny,

Don't stop posting, I too feel uncomfortable knowing OW post here, maybe I am being too sensitive but this is supposed to be about building your marriage so why do they post if they aren't working on their marriage.

I would like to join the private board also, I contacted tempest over a week ago & I have heard nothing.

There are many here for you though, so dont' leave us.

Babygirl,

Many times you won't get a return email, as all the moderators have lives outside the boards, and many have jobs as well. I would try to check out the private board, you may have access.

Tigger

Thanks, I will try to get in.

Who cares what an OW thinks? Don't let these posters scare you off.

I can get very harsh with the ow on here. I don't get it either. I remember one time I posted a message about how the ow/oc didn't matter and good grief, the ow came unglued. But guess what? It didn't phase me in the least. Know why? CAUSE IT WAS THE TRUTH. And they hated to realize and hear it. They do not matter one iota. What you and your husband and children do, or don't do is none of their concern.

Another time an OW type was whining about No contact being bad for the child. AHHH HEELLLOOO What is best for the marriage and the marriage family may not be what is best for the oc, but that does not matter, and is not a priority within the marriage. They can't compute that fact. So they get all defensive and angry. But guess what? Who cares? That is NOT your problem.

I hate to see you go, but can understand. I too feel that this board can be a little to accomodating to the ow who post on here. I don't think they are sincere at all. I find one incredibly passive aggressive. She constantly states her own (deluded) opinion of the wife as a fact, sorta like she knows all that goes on at his home, etc. But in a way it is good to read how "they" really are. Totally selfish, cold and bitter to the children of the marriage, while crying foul about their own child. See how messed up they are? So, why do their opinions matter to you? You are obviously better then they are. You are a good and kind and decent woman. Just know that.

If you chose to go, go with my thoughts and prayers. Bless you.

Sunn dale

I didnt see where any one made fun of you, But I think you should continue to post if talking to someone helps your situation. I was asked if I would like to join the private board but for the very fact that while I have been a bw many times, I was once an ws as well. I have no desire to join a private board, but feel That certainly should not make ws feel uncomfortable posting on this open forum.

My husband and I have fully recovered and are doing quite well and I think we hae over come his infedelity and mine as well. I do believe reading here has helped at times, but not always. Great thing is you can learn from any one, Bs, WS , all of us can learn from each other.
I can tell you poja has been a useful tool in my marriage. It has done wonders to help us learn to communicate and see each others side of things.

I think everyones input is important and helpful, some tell us what we dont want to do in our lives others give us inspiration to work things out in a different way. I can tell you most of my inspiration came from a bs who was on this site wth two other children. She has class, and has been through more than most, but she always treated me with respect. She has helped inspire me to keep trying and be aware of every thing I say and do in reguards to the bs in my situation.


I dont think every one should discount what someone says before thinking about it. Just something to think about <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Good luck

<small>[ January 22, 2005, 09:15 PM: Message edited by: mom of five ]</small>

I emailed tempest? No one in general makes fun (OW) but everything they read and feed off of. I just can't figure out why some people have to distroy or put down a person just to make them seem better. But after all look who I'm talking about. Ok, I guess thinking that my OW might be reading, just got to me. But maybe this way I wont ever have to call her. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> LOL. She can just read how pathedic she is. Thanks to everyone for their support and I'm glad ya'll are here. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I was thinking you know sometimes your life seems so over whelming. But I have noticed someone else always has it harder than you, and your problems aren't really all that bad. Maybe I'll be as stong as some of the ones that have made a point to stay on here and help us. Thanks

Sunny,

So glad you are not going anywhere, but I may be??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Where are you going? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> I hope things are ok w/ you.

okay Babygirl-

Talk to us--we don't want you to go anywhere--look at me--I had it flung in my face yesterday that we are still getting a divorce-Please let us comfort you--that's what we are all here for.

Men--I think they live in a constant fog somedays.

Albany

I am not going anywhere, just don't know how much longer I will have anything useful to say to anyone, if I ever did, I am about to give up. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />