Rather than subject all of you who may read this to skimming through all of the posts on my other thread "A bizarre twist in my husband's affair", I figured that I'd ask this question in a new post.

Sorry for the long run-on sentence. I haven't finished my second cup of coffee yet and my grammar skills are seriously lacking this morning.

Ok, let me bring all of you up to speed on my situation. My husband had had an affair with a woman whose fallopian tubes were supposedly tied. She somehow got pregnant by him in early February (?) and claimed that when she had a biopsy done in December, that this doctor had mistakenly untied one of her tubes. The fetus had implanted itself into one of her tubes.

Supposedly, she had scheduled an appointment on March 19th to have something done, perhaps an abortion, but felt the need to charter a private plane on March 3rd, fly out of state and have the abortion done, so that her husband and I didn't find out. All for the bargain price of $10,000.

Ok, now...this is what she's telling my husband. Keep in mind that just about everything that she has ever told him was a lie.

On April 1st, we received a few emails from her brother stating that the OW was still pregnant!! We had been told that she had had an abortion, yet now we're being told otherwise. Note the date of the email...April Fool's day. I thought it was a sick joke. Her brother quotes some letter that she had written to my husband saying how bad that she feels for lying to him about the abortion, but that she is still pregnant. I doubt that this letter even exists.

So, according to the OW, this is what actually happened......

When she found out that she was pregnant, and that it was a ectopic pregnancy, she decided to get her whole family involved. They started looking for a doctor that specializes in clinical trials of trying to save these types of pregnancies. They "found" such a doctor and she flew down to have this procedure done.

Rather than ask my husband his opinion or even give him a choice, she conveniently took it upon herself to take care of this. We believe that since she knew that my husband had always wanted a son, that she would try this procedure. She probably thought that by giving my husband a son, something that I couldn't give him, she would pull my husband away from me, and they'd live happily ever after together. Talk about manipulation!!

When my husband decided to return to me, she was stuck with her choice and has to deal with it. I'm guessing that this baby (I doubt it exists) is a way to keep a part of my husband in her life.

She tells us that she has to go to a specialist twice a week for some type of shot. What this shot is or what it's supposed to do....I have no idea? She says that it's very expensive. She also says that the doctor says that for the baby to survive past the 5th month is highly unlikely, but they're trying anyway. Also, if this baby does survive to full term, that it's very probable that it will have serious birth defects.

So, my questions to her would be....

1. Knowing from the start of your affair, that my husband would never leave me, why did you feel the need to manipulate him into making a choice?

2. Knowing that this baby may be born with serious birth defects, why are you wanting to subject the poor thing to a difficult life?

3. Why could you not be honest about this whole mess and give my husband the respect to be involved with any decisions that needed to be made?

Not that I'm for abortion, please....I personally think that if God wanted this baby to be born, then He'd make it so. It's obvious that she's taking this into her own hands and is trying to play God, per se. All in a sick, twisted, way to keep a hold on my husband....for a son that I could never give him. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Yes...her story sounds bizarre, and my husband and I are investigating the possibility that it's possible. Just to be prepared. I highly doubt that it's true, but we need to be 100% positive.

I hope that I give someone a chuckle today....this story belongs in a comic book, or as my title implies....on X-Files.

Arab:
I'm sorry but don't believe her. I went through many years of inferitilty and was also involved in some support groups which I had access to knowing a lot of woman with a lot of different problems. I still know a lot of woman going through this. I am 99% sure she is NOT telling the truth. First of all if it was possible, it would cost so much more than ten grand. I promise you this. Also, regarding the birth defects and what the doctor said......I can't see any woman taking that chance or a doctor putting his lic., on the line for that. Someone else said it too, it's like picking a flower and trying to plant it somewhere else. You can't do it. You could go on to a fertilty board and ask them........they know. I just hate it when anyone trys to screw anyone over. As far as the shots goes....the only thing I can think of is progrestone shots. I had them through every cycle I went through which was many of them. You can give yourself those shots though. There are no known birth defects with these shots. One of my problems was that I miscarried early on. It was caused from my mother taking DES when she was pregnant with me. It gave me a harmonal problem with the progrestone which helps the baby stay implanted (in layman terms). I still miscarried several times before my twins were born. Also, by law until that baby is born and DNA is proved your husband is not responsible for it. I hope your not giving her anymore money. Me thinks she is taking you and h for a huge ride. Please be careful. If she is capable of pulling this, no telling what other stories she will come up with. Also, the fifth month? hmmmmmm, that is when she would start to show? Maybe she plans on keeping this going until she can't no longer. If at all possible I would maybe seek an attorney to see if you can get prof that she really is pregnant from a doctor and the facts of this pregnancy seeing she is claiming it's your husbands. Again good luck to you.

Yes...the 5th month.....

She has told my husband while they were seeing each other, that with each of her pregnancies (she has 4 children) that she didn't start showing until the 5th month. Supposedly, she was going to move to another state in June, when her children got out of school. That would be the 5th month. How convenient, eh? She moves, in order to hide the fact that she isn't pregnant.

She has told everyone down at the workplace (yes, my husband works there also) that she had to abort his baby. Well, if she is indeed pregnant, she will have to leave when she starts showing, because then that will show that she's lying. Either way, her lies have finally caught up with her.

No....we did not give her any money whatsoever. And being that she was still living with her husband while having the affair, who's to say that she didn't sleep with him during this time? My husband wants proof of everything, so we will be seeking an attorney on Monday.

I can't believe that I really was worried about this in the beginning. Now I'm beginning to put the pieces together, and everyone who has replied to my posts has added more pieces. Thank you, everyone!!

Oh...what a tangled web we weave......LOL

I wouldn't say from a comic book or the X-Files, but rather from a scam artist handbook. I would be shocked to find out she's pregnant. I don't believe she is now, or ever was P, at least not with your H's. Dig, find out what you can. If she's P, do not pay her one red cent till DNA is confirmed.

I totally agree with ntmo...
I, too, have gone through infertility treatments and know TONS of people that have gone through more extensive treatments than I have. NOT ONE was able to move their ectopic pregnancies, though many would have tried no matter the price!

Really, you need to have no contact with this woman or her family at all. I urge you to get a restraining order to keep this from continuing.
Nothing within this story sounds credible....

Stacia

Yes, quite likely, she was still sleeping w/ her H during the A. Even if she wasn't, in most states, if not all, any baby conceived during the M, is considered to be a product of the M.

I would proceed carefully, and trust no one. If this is the major scam job it seems to be, her H might very well be in on it, who knows?!? Maybe I watch too much tv and read too many mysteries, but I smell a rat, and I think that rat has accomplices.

Arabesque,

Well, the main thing that's sticking in my mind is, WHERE did this supposed surgery take place? What's the doctor's name? If this is all true, and this doctor has figured out a way to "transplant" an ectopic pregnancy, wouldn't he be on the major news???? See if you can fish around w/out OW and her family knowing exactly what you are up to! Try to contact said doctor w/the story that you are looking for a way to save your own baby, etc etc....

There are SO many who have gone through loosing a child this way that if there were ANY possibility that this procedure works, this doctor would be SO rich!!!! He could train other doctors and never have to work another day in his life!!!!

Do some more fishing, and see if you can get the name of the doctor and where this was "done" and take it from there! Maybe use that money you were talking about and finding a PI???

Wish I could help more, this is just way bizzare, and almost beyond X-Files!!!! Good luck!!!!

Tigger

Do you have a laywer? Could she be trying to extort money from you? Get a laywer and run this story by him/her. GET A GOOD LAYWER.

IF she is pregnant, and the child is your husbands he could be playing fast and loose with the childs health. What doctor indeed. Find out and start pushing back.

IF it is possible that the child is NOT your husbands and she is saying it is, and trying to get $$ from you that could be illegal in your state too. Does she KNOW it is his? Try to get her to sign a docuement (via your attorney) stating that it can only be your husbands. THEN if/when child is proven to be someones elses, you have grounds for a lawsuit.

Eitherway, something isn't right here. I would start documenting everything and get the law involved. She is trying to rip you off. Serious stuff.

I just had a wonderfull day at a spa, massage, manicure, pedicure, facial, the whole nine yards with a BW, who sued and won money from an ow who was playing fast and loose with the law.

Be smart. Be proactive,not reactive.

Ok, I've had enough. I'll explain in a minute......

What KIND of lawyer do I seek? All of the general practice lawyers or family practice lawyers that I had been referred to by our union's lawyer laugh at me. They refuse to take my case...and I'm unsure of what the reason of my lawsuit is. Harassment? Fraud? Blackmail? Possible paternity?

I don't know!!

Explanation for my outburst.......

Tuesday afternoon, I get a phone call from her. This is the first time I've talked to her in almost a month. She's upset and kind of crying. She tells me that the other woman who works in the store with her confronted her about the affair, she lost her temper, and was told to turn in her keys to the store. At the time, my husband and I didn't quite think that that meant she was actually fired. This story is in my other thread "A strange twist in my husband's affair".

At any rate, a friend came over, and I was telling her that this woman was supposedly fired. She had this strange look on her face when I told her this. Her husband also works there and had mentioned that this woman had signed his paperwork, and that he was the last man in from his route on Tuesday. He didn't come home until 5:30 pm. Yet...this woman had called me at 1:15 pm telling me that she had been fired. I don't think that it took him over 4 hours to drive the 1 mile that he lives from work. So, it's obvious that she was still at work and didn't get fired at all!!!

I called my husband immediately and told him what my friend had told me. He said "This is interesting....." He just now got back to the office and said that he'll call me and let me know if her car is in the parking lot, and if anything happens.

I'm glad that my friend told me this information. She was worried that she shouldn't have said anything, but I told her that she may have just saved my husband's job. My husband has been directed by the HR department not to go anywhere near this woman. I can just see it now....he thinks that she's been fired, walks into the other office, she's there alone, and she accuses him of sexual harassment or something. No witnesses.......

What in the world is she doing now? Can anyone take a guess? Why tell him that she's been fired, when she knows he's going to discover the truth 2 days later?

I used to work there also...yesterday was my last day. As I walked out, I told my supervisor "I should have waited....because the reason why I quit was just fired yesterday." He was shocked. Imagine his shock when he sees her at work today and wonders what happened. No wonder nobody knows anything...it simply wasn't true!!!

I swear....my husband and I feel like idiots now.

I'm sorry...this is getting creepier by the day. I knew that this news that she had been fired was too good to be true.

Edited to add: My husband's boss told him that she quit instead. So, yes...I'm happy...but it's been 2 days without any emails or whatnot from her, and now I'm getting nervous. Why am I getting nervous over something that I originally wanted in the first place...NC!!!??? I don't think she's finished with us yet. I'll have to wait and see what stunt she pulls now.

*sigh*

<small>[ April 08, 2004, 03:07 PM: Message edited by: Arabesque ]</small>

hmmmm, well i havent done much research, but I had an ectopic pregnancy about 9 years ago... my tube ruptured at 11 weeks... there is nothing that can be done to save an ectopic ...sorry... baby cant grow there without a rupture and the mother's life being endangered... UNLESS there is some NEW miracle that they can transfer the embryo to the womb somehow....but I SINCERELY doubt that is doable... and usually because of the weird symptoms and bleeding one has during an ectopic pregnancy, by the time it is discovered, it is to late, either the body reabsorbes the [failed] pregnancy , the tube ruptures as in my case, or medical and/or surgical intervention is needed to remove the ectopic pregnancy ( rupture can lead to severe internal blood loss and sepsis and can be fatal to mother if not treated immediately)


SOOOOO I think your OW is fulll of POOP!

Now they CAN give "shots" if it is early enough to STOP the growth of the pregnancy to encourage absorption and thus prevent surgery or a rupture... but not to "save" the pregnancy.. ummmm sorry but a baby cannot grow in that skinny little tube...


If I am wrong someone enlighten me... but this sounds fishy to me.

<small>[ April 09, 2004, 10:44 PM: Message edited by: nycmedic ]</small>

She is a big [censored] liar and I am surprised that you would believe a word she says. It seems like her and your hubby are not through. Giving all these reasons and situations why they have to stay in contact...Baloney!

Here's a small update of sorts, I guess. Yes, the "battle" continues, but we're not aware of it. We have blocked the email addresses from her and her brother from my husband's Yahoo account.

Anyway, I went to court yesterday and plead not guilty to her charge of abusive phone calls. A pre-trial date was set for next month. My husband is frustrated that we are being forced to drag this stupid issue for a longer period of time, but I don't see it that way. I will prove my innocence eventually. We spoke with the city attorney's office and told them about this and they may go after the OW for filing a false police report. She had written a statement saying that these charges were false, and "supposedly" gave it to the police department. I don't believe that she did so, but I have a couple of copies of this letter. When I go to court next month, I will give them another copy, in addition to all of my phone call logs.

On April 10th, we had received 2 more emails from her. Since my husband had blocked her address, and she sent me a courtesy copy, we got them anyway. She wants my husband to do her a small favor by taking a paternity test. My husband said to me, that he won't do that, unless he's ordered by the court. And then....we will have the tests done at a doctor of OUR choosing, not hers. Yes, I've been doing some research on paternity fraud, so I will do what I can to protect our family.

Being that she was claiming that she didn't have sex with anyone but my husband during the time that they had the affair....and she was living with her husband at the time.....asking for a paternity test just seems to say that she's actually unsure of who the father is. As someone else said...maybe we'll get our "Get out of jail free card", if it turns out to be her husband's child. This is if the baby actually exists.

We have a private investigator looking into her daily activities, and I'm really curious to see if she's actually going to see this specialist for prenatal care. I personally think that she is lying, but part of me is curious as to why she would continue with this elaborate deception of claiming to be pregnant, when she knows that she'll never get my husband back. It just doesn't make sense.

Supposedly, she needed her job at my husband's workplace for the medical benefits. Then to up and quit last Tuesday, for no reason, also doesn't make sense. Perhaps she felt that her world of lies was closing in on her and didn't have the strength (or sanity) to keep up with the lies. I can only guess at this point, but at least she's out of there.

In the meantime, we're enjoying having NC and are working on other issues that we've had to put on hold because she was constantly in our life.