read sunnydale how are u the lat three post I need to talk to someone

Oh [censored] wipe is on his way home. He has a freind over to help him w/ some year work. I will stay inside and not say anything but if he comes in thats it. I have had my pill, that hasn't kicked in now and I decided to have a drink. Oh no, well I need something to try and calm me down or I am going to smack him when he walks up. I can not beleive the way he just told me on a two way radio. Not even on the phone. Now that sounds like someone how cares right? NOT. I am sooo mad. I don't know what to do. I really want to get in his car and go somewhere but that is running and I WILL NOT RUN ANYMORE!! It's my house he screwed up so he can live on the street for all I care. Well we all know where he will spend the night. Well one thing is for sure. I will not stop the D again and HE WILL pay for my attorney!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> She an't cheap either. I have stood by ever promise I have made and what has he done. LIED LIED LIED!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> God mad me strong not dumb. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I'm glad my attorney has all the papers ready and all I have to do is call and pay some more. You could not beleive the sarcasum (i know thats not right.) but it was so unreal, uncaring. That lazy bytch can have him. And I hope she makes good money cause he an't going to have any. Why should I stan by my promise to be fare when he broke his! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> I'm not going to be able to work tomorrow. And I am having a problem typing now. Sorry for all the mistakes. I don't know if anyone is listening but I do feel better typeing, at least I think someone cares. My family doesn't know a thing about all this and I can't tell them. I just don't want to hear " I told you so." But you know they are right. And If I need a place I know I have it because they know I have tried. If I didn't have my D I would be at the airport right now buying a ticket to some island and charging up my cc and tell them to find me.

Hi Sunnydale,

That so sucks. I'm really sorry.

Stay calm. Everyone wished they handled this stuff with more dignity, in hindsight.

Be strong, be quiet. Hold on to yourself. Giving it to him with both barrels tonight will change NOTHING. Remember that. He's apparently clueless if he called all happy about this crap. It does you no good to loose your cool with a clueless man.

Think about how you want to live the rest of your life. You cant leave your children with this dummy... so take that 'going to God' option off the table, OK. They would NOT be ok with it. (that sounds like foggy WS speak, btw). Start making a budget and a plan. Be productive.

It's not fair. I am really, really sorry. (be careful with the pills and booze, ok...). Hang in there... - Dru

Sunny - how you doing? Calm down. You are right, your H should have had the decency to talk to you face to face. You deserve at least that much from him. I think he is getting so wrapped up in having a baby that he is forgetting who he is having this baby with. I find my H making comments about baby and getting excited and then it just kind of hits him that I am not so excited about it. They just do stupid things before they think. That is how we are all in this mess to begin with.

If you don't think you can be calm when you talk to him - stay away from him tonight. Take care of yourself and you D. Be careful what you say about H in front of D. Please take care of yourself. You are strong and you can get through this.

I will be here for awhile if you need to talk. I'll be watching for your message.

God Bless,
Kris

I guess the pill kicked in. He's home. Came in to see if I was OK. I just didn't pay attention to him. As far and onedrink and it wasn't strong and my happy pill I;m ok. I wont leave H & OW the money LOL. I just want him to leave me alone tonight and let me go. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

I really don't know what kinda thrill they get for lying to people? Thats for your reply I know someone is at least thinking about me tonight. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

my spelling really sucks tonight. I'm ok though.

Glad to hear you are doing better. H's just don't understand how these things effect us. They think that we are made of steel or something and that we can handle it all. I think you are right to stay away from H tonight. Don't let H attitude get to you. I think part of the thrill is that they know they can effect us so much. If they only knew that honesty and sensitivity will go alot further.

Hang in there,
Kris

It really makes me mad when he comes home w/ a smurk on his face and ask me if I"M OK. What do you think dummy. Mr I think w/ my body parts. I really am at my last straw. I really wanted top/u up the phone and call the OW tonight but why bother, she's a lyer too. I;ll be ok

Sleep tight - Dru

I don't understand how he would expect you to be fine when all he is doing is giving you more and more to deal with. Again it gets back to us always picking up the pieces, doing what is right, and holding the family together. That is the answer to one of your questions. You asked in one of your posts why God doesn't just take you home. Its because he knows you can handle this and that so many people are relying on you to be strong. Your D for one needs you in her life. That doesn't mean you have to be superwoman and handle this all alone. That's why we found each other here. No matter what - we are here for each other. Many bad days you all have helped me.

Keep the faith,
Kris

Well, I guess God wants me to do another day. I'm still here. H is such a jerk. I went to sleep w/ my D, he woke me up to come to bed and then started asking "whats wrong w/ you, how come your not talking?" DUH! Told him I was tired and I was going back to sleep. This AM it was the same thing. Then he gets mad and just leaves for work. See he screws up and its me that is the bad person. I just don't get it. I'm going to call him in a while and tell him, you know I'm really not mad becauce she said it was a boy, I'm hurt and he doesn't even care so I know where I fit into this. Doesn't matter if I hurt. I'm just expected to just say OH that's great? Whatever brain dead. Thank for your support last night. I really don't like getting that upset, but I just couldn't help it. But writing my feeling was good at least I was over some of it by the time he got home. Thanks again.

Sunny,

I am so sorry I was not here for you last nite. I am glad you are feeling better this AM, watch it with those pills & drinking ok? You scared me, I know how you feel many a nite I have wanted to just go to sleep & not wake up, my son is grown, my parents, family, etc. would miss me but the pain seems so great you think you can't handle it another second, but you can, remember Greater is he that is in you than he who is in the world!

Men are such dumb animals, I remember the cockiness of my H when he told me he was having a girl, I wanted to smack him he was so smug. Why don't they have a clue as to what they are doing to us, the women they claim to love?

Hang in there girl, God won't let you go thru this alone, he will give you strength to get thru this.

Again I am sorry I wasn't here for you last nite, I was going thru my own personal hell at home & guess what - nothing has changed. I am tired too.

SD~

From the looks of things, it was a quiet night on the forum last night. I'm sorry there weren't more around to help you, but I'm glad to see you made it through. Writing it all down does seem to help a bit, doesn't it? How are you this morning?

I agree with Dru, your H is VERY clueless, I don't think he would even know where to buy one right now, (you'd probably have to drive him to the clue store...you know, "Clues R Us" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> ...ewwww, poor attempt to lighten the mood, I need more coffee, sorry ). He's so deep in the muck and mire, with the comments he's been giving you. I'm so sorry his questions and responses since telling you the gender have been so cavalier, and down right snotty.

I know it's very difficult, but just keep doing the best Plan A you can muster. I'm wondering if it's not approaching time for Plan B, especially since he's still in contact w/ her? I admit I haven't followed your story very closely, so perhaps you're in a modified Plan B, I don't know?

Who all knows about the A/OC? It might be time for more people to know. Time to shine more light on the dark--hold him accountable for not just the A, but for his rotten behavior right now. Also what really bothers me, is the people that do know, think it all happened during your break-up, is that correct? Let the truth out, it DIDN'T happen during the break-up, (even if it did, it was wrong). Take away as many of his rationalizations as you can, because they're all bogus. Of course all in a non LB'G way, (which sucks--I know <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> , but like I told Albabny, think of the goal line, think of the goal line!!!!!) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I hope you and your family have a blessed Easter, ((((Sunny)))). <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

~ad

<small>[ April 09, 2004, 08:38 AM: Message edited by: autumnday ]</small>

AD,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I don't think he would even know where to buy one right now, (you'd probably have to drive him to the clue store...you know, "Clues R Us" </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'd like to drive my H to one, got directions?LOL
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

That put a much needed smile on my face this morning - Thanks!

Thanks to everyone that replied. I'm sorry if I sounded like I might do something stupid. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> But I could never do that to my D. Yes he is clueless!! He like I said left mad this morning because I didn't want to talk. Well who wants to drag this crap out at 6:00 am? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> Not me. He, I guess thought I would call him when I got to work, but I didn't. So he started calling me. See, he's such a freak! Knowing I'm at work and I'm not going to get upset and let all these people see me that way. Plus I have my D w/ me they are out of school. So he started with the I love you so much, and I'm w/ you that should mean something. Yea, he was w/ me when OW got preg too. I'm reading over A and B and making plans to start on B. I read over my post and I don't like that person. She's not me. I'm very responsable, got my crap together type of person. But you should have been there 11 years ago when I had our D and his G-father telling me 2 hours after a C-section, "Where's my G-son?" His G-father is an jacka$$. Often opens his mounth and inserts foot.
So when he told me that yesterday and the way he did it I just lost it. OW might not even know and she could just be saying that because she knows that what H wants. And to get to me. And I let it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> I'm really disappointed in myself.

Dont' you dare beat yourself up, we all have our "moments" when we let our emotions take over & run wild, you are only human. In this situation a person can only be calm, cool, & level headed 50% of the time????

H's G-father sounds like my MIL, all about a g-child, no matter how much devastation this OC will cause you & your D.

I told my sister about this site today & how it seems to be more common than thought of, & how it seems NC w/ OC is the best route to go to save the M, & her reply was "oh I feel sorry for the baby", I had to calm down before I answered, I wonder if she would feel that way if her H told her she was about to be a step-mom!

See unless you have lived this you CANNOT understand. You do whatever it is you need to get thru this. Pray & take your time before giving up on Plan A & moving to B.

Oh, I'd like to line them all up & slap them. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> -- That would be a major LB huh?

Sunnydale

I'm so sorry I didn't look at the board at all last night--I was visiting my parents.

H's are so flipping stupid. I think you need Plan B. That is rather strange that seemed so excited--my H is not thrilled and it is a boy and he is still very upset that she is pregnant and did it on purpose.

However mine still hasn't made commitment to me and our son.

Sunny don't worry about last night we all have moments and we don't usually like them when we look back but hey we can't be strong all the time--we need our moments.

So today my positive thoughts for you are to make a plan--you are strong and take care of yourself and daughter.

Either our H's will catch up with us or not but either way we have made progress for us and our children.

Albany

What an [censored]. He expected you to want this child? Have a preference in what sex it is? What a putz. He is insensitive. You should tell him that it was rude, crude and insensitive of him to tell you that way, and to think that you would be remotely excited about this. Be honest about how you feel about oc. No reason so sugar coat it.

As for being rude to him? Tell him that he is a fool and that you are willing to work on the marriage, but that oc is not part of your family or marriage. I would also tell him that the next time you find out he had contact with her or she calls your home, you are pressing harrassment charges against her. See what he does.

I think you need to toughen up now. Plan B seems to be your best bet at this time. Read it and even call Dr. Harley and get some advice.

I wish I could kick his butt for you.

I wish I could slap him and feel better but I wouldn't. KT is right. If he runs to her than I get to get over and move on and if he doesn't maybe he will get a clue and I can go on. I hate being stuck here and I'm tired of it. Oh my goodness my D is at work w/ me and she just put a picture on my computer desk of me and her dad. holding hands w/ smiles. I gotta go.