a couple of the posts i have responded to prompted these questions.

what do you do if you express your needs to your spouse and they can't seem to bring themselves to fulfilling them? or doesn't even seem to make an effort if they are things that your spouse has a hard time with in the past?

I pray and I do double duty at meeting his.

pops,

guessing that is was me that prompted this.

I have in the past, backed down and put my needs aside to see that his are met, he is happy and I don't cause waves. If this was a crime, I would be a serial offender. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Stupid me got lost on the last 1/2 of the question </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">or doesn't even seem to make an effort if they are things that your spouse has a hard time with in the past?
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Pops, if my H wasn't meeting my needs, emotional, physical, ect. I wouldn't want to be there. God does not want us unhappy. Unhappy christians, are bad news, and can't be a good witness for him. So he wants us to be filled w/the sprit and be happy. If your living unhappy and the other person is not meeting your needs, talk to them, go to councler, pray about it ALOT! And he will let you see what you need to do. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Put a time limit on "coming around" and then make your changes if no changes have come from the other side. Divorce is bad but so is living w/each other and not being happy, satisfied and loved by the one who made a commentment in front of God for you. I wouldn't stay. Even for the children. I don't think kids should be raised in a house where the parents don't show love for each other. I don't want mine to think that is the way marriage is to be. Beacause its not what God said marriage should be. My 2 cents

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny

lmf,,,,,,, actually it was someone else.

sunny,,,,,,,, great post

I don't kow if I would go so far as to divorce and it would definately depend on the need.

But if H had issues from the past that were preventing him from meeting a need of mine then I think counseling would be in order.

If it was just a minor need, I would evaluate how important it was to me and try to convey that to him.

If it was something major, then for sure we would have to go to counseling and work on it together. Sometimes it just takes time to "come around".

It really would depend on what it was. There have been times when H and I were not meeting each others needs and sometimes justifyably, sometimes because we just didn't know what the other wanted and sometimes because we were too prideful to look @ what WE, ourselves might be lacking in "giving" to put in the effort that would result in spouse putting in more effort towards us.