welcome to another meeting of the Online Book Club! LOL

Our church is doing the "40 days of Purpose". We are going through the book, The Purpose Driven Life, and then we meet in weekly study groups and go more in depth into a study using God's word.

So any way the point of the book is studying God's purpose for your life. When you can accept and realize God's purpose for your life, everything else loses signifigance and you can really prioritize and focus.

Something I think is really important, although somehow painful to realize or might be painful to hear is.....ALL of our births were planned by God. There is a purpose for all of us, INCLUDING OC.

God created that child for HIS purpose. IF we can keep that in mind, BW's, it might help soften the blow. I know it's hard and none of us hate OC or anything like that but it is still painful, I know. But to keep in mind that there is so much more to this life. It is not what we have chosen but it is what God has chosen and planned that really matters. He knew all your steps before you ever took them and all the joy & pain you would experience in your life.

Our life is like an inch on a football field in the measurement of eternity. There will be so much more to our eternal lives than the 70 or so years on this earth.

There is so much more to this book and of course it reiterates what God's Word tells us but this is just one point that I thought was relevant and so I wanted to recommend it and encourage dialogue, especially w/ those who are heading for C.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Something I think is really important, although somehow painful to realize or might be painful to hear is.....ALL of our births were planned by God. There is a purpose for all of us, INCLUDING OC.

God created that child for HIS purpose. IF we can keep that in mind, BW's, it might help soften the blow. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I totally agree with that. I remember telling my GYN about H having a D, (my dr. was all excited about me having a tubal reversal so I kept him updated and told him why I was not going to have it done.),& how shocked he was when I told him I had met the OW & seen the baby. He couldn't get over me calling myself her stepmother & commended me for my attitude, I told him the baby is innocent, who could I not love her? He told me he was so glad I felt that way because the child may need me one day. I never forgot that, not that I am wishing for OW to die, but what if God's purpose in all this is for me to raise or help raise a daughter w/ or without OW around?

I will definitely get the book KT, thanks.

Maybe our purpose in OC life is to be the good Christian role model they might otherwise miss our on. Obviously, H and OW do not have morals, values, or faith that should be instilled in God's precious child.

Just a thought.

God Bless,
Kris

Here is some more insight about trials we encounter through out our lives that I found encouraging.
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from the book:The Purpose Driven Life (ch. 22):

"God wants you to develop the kind of character described in the beattitudes of Jesus, the fruit of the Spirit, Paul's great chapter on love, and Peter's list of the characteristics of an effective and productive life. Every time you forget that character is one of God's purposes for your life, you will become frustrated by your circumstances. You'll wonder, "Why is this happening to me? Why am I having such a difficult time?" One answer is that life is supposed to be difficult! It's what enables us to grow. Remember, earth is not heaven!"

"....if you fall for the idea that life is supposed to be easy, either you will become severly disillusioned or you will live in denial of reality." "Never forget that life is not about you!"
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There is also a great chapter (20) called Restoring Broken Fellowship. It has too much information to go into here but it offers a lot of encouraging and practical steps for the Christian to follow.
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So anyway, this book has really been encouraging to me, every chapter has something to challenge me and it's mostly the realization that, yah, it's not always about ME!

KT,

I know someone else who is reading that book and I here that it is good. It also comes with a workbook to do some questions. I will have to get it and see if it will allow me to gain some insight on what God's plan is for me and my H.

JT

kt - I just started the book and have a question. Chapter 2 talks about how each of us is born for purpose. That our births are planned - no matter what the circumstances (OC). I guess I just find it hard that God would purposely create a life as a result of adultery. Do you think this is what is meant by the chapter? I can buy that God saw that a child was going to be created as the result of an affair and thus plans a purpose for that child's life. When I read this chapter it almost sounds to me that the author is saying God planned the affair so that child would result. I know that God does not approve of adultery and therefore, I don't think he would purposely plan children outside of marriage. I was just wondering what the thought of your discussion group was. Anyone have an opinion? By the way, my H is reading the book also and pointed out that birth of OC was planned and that there was a purpose. I guess I think more along the lines that because of man's free will that God knew affair would happen and thus created a purpose for child. Does that make sense? I just don't think God would say that adultery is okay because this child is going to be the result.

"....if you fall for the idea that life is supposed to be easy, either you will become severly disillusioned or you will live in denial of reality." "Never forget that life is not about you!"

KT, I just went through the book myself in a small group from my church. That book is probally one of the few things that got me through the mess I fell into. Ironicly, I know the minister who wrote the book even though I don't remember him. My dad is a minister and when he was a youth minister and doing youth services in our area he would stay with us. As well he went to semanary with my oldest brother that passed away a couple of years ago.
Ladies I know we are on oppisite sides of the fence, but this is probally one of the best books (not just in this case of OC, but every sitution that happens) around. It helped me alot to accept my brother's death, and as stated above, it's not about "me". This book helped me through my pregnancy with xmm situtaiton as well. I'm sorry to have to put that part in. Don't get me wrong, I still get upset, but I look at my baby and swear it's NOT about me. I look at my twins and swear it's not about ME. He put me here to raise my kids with or without a father(s). How I handle it is a choice I have to make.
Kris, I'm not KT, but I can tell you NO, God did not plan the affair, but he knew it would happen way before your husband and OW were born. He also knew they would have a child. It's no different than my brother dying. He did not give my brother the brain tumor. He did know he would get it, and die from it at a young age. And no he does not condone the affair, but he still loves us all. Okay, off my soapbox <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> I hope you don't mind me answering since KT is not on right now.

Thanks for your response. No need to get on a soapbox. I understand that God loves and forgives us all. I try to convey that message to my H all the time. He just doesn't see how what he has done can be forgiven. He does not think that I can handle this OC being a part of our lives - therefore he is still away from home. I know we have all made mistakes in our lives, not one is greater than the other - all are forgivable. I just wish I can get my H to believe.

Kris, if he wants to he will. Sometimes faith is a hard thing....just keep on showing him your faith girl. That's all you can do.