He is at the hospital now with her. She went into labor this morning and he never called. I found out by calling the hospital after he never picked up his cell phone because it was off.

I am dying here. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

((((HUGS)))) I'm so sorry--please hang in there yours and my are both just a piece of work. We are here for you.

My M may be heading straight for D so I feel your pain--but not the same pain as H in delivery room. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> I it makes me so mad that you have to go through this.

Hi LuvMyFamily,

I may be wrong but if it were me, It may be wrong but I think If I knew where the hospital was, I would go just to make them uncomfortable. I do not think he deserves to be comfortable after the way he treated you. I would just tell him I wanted to see my step-daughter. Maybe try and smooth it over with him. Maybe I am wrong but that would be my first instinct.

I am mad for you too, I am saying a prayer for you, sweetie.

Try to stay calm & be strong for your kids. I know what you are going thru. I am so sorry.

Luv I'm so sorry! (((((((((HUGS))))))))))) You need to remain as calm as you can. IF you go to the hospital, which I wouldn't unless we walked into the hospital together, then you need to be calm. Don't go if you don't think you can keep yourself composed!!!! It would be very very bad for you to go up there and act up. Not saying you don't have the right, but it could end you up in jail. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> You do not need that. Do you have a friend that you can call and have come over? You need someone there w/you!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> Are you still on the computer? Talk to me if your there.
Sunny <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Hi LuvMyFamily,

I am suprised more people have not posted here yet. I think I will be in your shoes soon if I stay with my husband long enough. I do not even know other woman's due date, last name, what town she is in because my husband will not tell me nothing. I do not know what I would do if I were you but I would have a hard time sitting at home. I am so angry with my man and with your man for treating you like that.

LMF~

I found out today that OW in my case is due 6/10 and yours was 6/9--so it could happen any day to me to.

We are here for you--vent away.

Thanks everyone. I am at work. I ran downstairs and asked my good friend who knows of the A but not the child for a hug. I was litterly freaking out. I finally calmed down after I was able to reach him. He was called at 8:30 am. He called his father first and his father told him not to tell me till later, so that I did not ruin my entire day, just half of it. How considerate. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

He also told OW that if he called me I would want to be there and she said that she did not want me there. Again, thanks so much to my H for caring about me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

I will not go the the hospital by my-self. However, I am going to suggest that we go together after the baby is born. We will see what he says about that. I am sure he won't go for that either.

As of 3:30 she still did not have it. My H said that at 2 the doctors said they did not expect it to be long.

He is not considering giving the child his last name. I don't think that is right either. I am really thinking that the best thing to do is just give up. I am not getting any consideration here.

I called my attorney and she said I can leave with the kids w/o and fall out. I am considering it. I have meetings tomorrow at work so I won't be able to do anything then. However, I may take Wed off or just take the kids to one of my friends house and stay there for a week or so. I have no idea, my head is spinning. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

albany, my OW was having pre-term contractions last month, so I am not surprised that it happened early. Most people go late with their first. Reflecting back on a converstaion my H and I had this morning, I am starting to think that he knew it would be soon. Can't go into detail now, have to pick up my kids.

Thanks for all the hugs. I sure need them. I think the people at work think I am off my rocker. I think they are right.

Thinking of you--my water broke on my due with my son who was my first. Never can tell I guess. I'm thinking of you--hope it gets better--hang in there.

I'm trying to hang in there but I'm nervous about the baby arriving soon and trying to keep it from my mom until I have made up my mind.

LUV...so sorry about this. My prayers are for you.

My only suggestion is to start taking care of yourself. Your husband seems to be doing as he pleases - even has his father's support. Why sweetie are you putting yourself through this?

HUGS!!!!!

A

I am so sorry for this trauma & drama.

Forget about taking the day off-------take the whole week! Hug your kids, love them, try to pretend it's a vacation and when your all alone or w/ your good friend, let it all out, once & for all! <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

The reactions you are and will be feeling are very similiar to the stages of 'grief' when someone dies. Your marriage, as you know it HAS died. It will either revive as something better OR not but it will never be the same that's for dang sure!

hang in there and hang tuff for the kidlets.

You can do it.
***********
***********
Your H IS acting like a total @$$!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

My FIL told my H to deny it to his grave, unless I "see them having sex", deny it! Total machismo garbage! Even my H was disappointed in his response, was hoping for some healthy advice on how to save his marriage. I'm so glad my H doesn't try to buy into that Bu!!$&*+ any more!!!!

Maybe if you go away it will be like jump-starting plan b or something, @ least give H a real good strong dose of a reality CHECK!!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

LMF~Hang in there! I'm thinking of you and want you to just focus on your kids--I will say a prayer for you tonight.

I like what KT said--maybe going way will be just what H needs and will jump start PA.

((((((HUGS))))))


Keep us posted and remember that we are all here for you.

LMF,
I didn't know about H going to see oc until the weekend ended....ow had oc on a saturday and I found out on a Monday when the paper came.

Cried an ocean over the reality.

H was incredibly ommissive.

I feel so much of your pain.

I remember all too well.

PlanB would be my choice before you say or do something you will regret.

Good luck with lawyer.

Prayers are for you tonight....

love
Debi

<small>[ May 25, 2004, 12:01 AM: Message edited by: gemini1 ]</small>

Hi Luv,

You are probably right to do plan B but you have a lot of time invested in this man and your family. You do not deserve to be treated this way. I was thinking of you this morning. I like to write my feelings in letters. Maybe you could write a letter of the incredible pain and hurt you feel. How you understand it is the other woman's day haveing the baby and all but a day that she stole from you and for that you feel an incredible pain and loss. Let him know if he is willing to understand your pain and be on your side that now is the time to come back and allow you to at least be a step mom to his child. But if he can not be an man and take his position beside you that he leaves you no other choice but to file for separation. I am so sorry to see you have to go through this. My heart really goes out to you and to all the others who have responded who have been through the same thing or who are going to go through the same thing as I am.

LMF,

Thinking of you sweetie, said a prayer for you, God will see you thru this, & life will go on, different, & maybe better in the future, it is not for us to know right now. Take care of yourself & your babies don't give any more energy to your H & that situation right now, it is out of your hands.

I know your pain, I remember like yesterday, but even though you won't forget it, with time it will lessen, my sister called me & told me H's D was born, I actually talked him while she was in labor, & he never said a word, didn't have the guts to do it. I will never understand that. I am sending you a big HUG.

Hopefully you can get away for a while, it would do you some good.

Thank you so very much for your hugs, prayers and support. It was a very long and difficult night. I decided to stay at home. I calmed myself down long enough to determine a well made plan is better than a hasty one.

She had the baby around 5:30. He called me around 8 to tell me. I asked if he was on his way home and he said that he was waiting for her to get into her room. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> I asked why and he said because her bags were in the car. I remember bringing mine in with me. Who knows. He finally made it home a little after 11.

The pain last night was continual. He told me that the decided "together" not to have any family or friends there, that it would just be the two of them. They decided on the name together. The last name is still up in the air. He apologized for not calling our kids to say good-night. Said when he realized what time it was, his arms were full, i.e. holding the baby. That hurt too.

I actually dropped 7 pounds yesterday. My stomach feels like I am going to vomit at any moment.

I have a call into my atty. I spoke with a new counselor last night. She wants me to call her today after I speak with my atty. She wants me to approach H with the following option: We get into MC this week or next week. If not, then I am leaving on X day. Part of me wants to do that and the other part of me just wants to leave. I would like him to hear from someone else that he is being disrespectful. I sware Jesus and God could both come down and tell him he is wrong and he would not believe it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

I just don't know what drives this man. He is so arrogant to think that he can leave a wake of destruction and that everyone should pick up the pieces he left.

Re: the last name. Told him I think it should be her's. He said it's because I don't want to look bad. I asked, have you thought that the only reason she would want your last name is to flaunt it and hurt our family. He said that would not be her reason. I said, there you have it. You give her the benefit of the doubt but you don't give it to me. I think it should be her name because of the difficulty if will cause our children. Plus, if she has primary custody, I think it would make sense to the child that her name is the same as her mothers. Just like if we divorced, I would not change my name because of the kids. If it was just me, I would drop it like a hot potato.

I don't know what to say, except I know & I feel your pain, & I am crying for & with you right now. My stepdaughter has my H's last name, there was never a question about, YES your H is being really disrespectful to you & your family, why they put these sl*&#s before their M, I will never understand.

Try not to make any rash decisions, pray over whatever you do before you act.

Do you have a good friend or family member to be with you right now? I hope so, if not we are here for you.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{Luv}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Hi Luv,

I am so so sorry. I do think the name would bother me a little too. I think what will bother me more is if my man does not involve me in the visits with his child and make it our child. My problem is that he gives the other woman way too much consideration. My prayers are with you. What if you let him see these posts how you have so many people rooting for you. Maybe that would help.

Good Morning ((((((((((LUV))))))))))))))
I thought about you alot last night. SO did others here. I hope you felt us w/ you. Did you and H discuss this before? Did you tell him not to go to the hospital, or what was his feelings on going? I just hate that you had to go thru that yesterday, it will be in your mind for a long time. I know it would mine. There are no words to discribe the hurt you must be feeling. Have you talked to your H about the hurt he caused. The fact that he put the OW over your feelings? I'm w/ the others that maybe plan b would be the way to go. But its hard and you have to do what you feel you need to do. No matter what we suggest to you. We are not in your shoes and do not know your or H heart. Or what H promised you, ect. But keep posting and venting here so maybe you wont keep it in and just blow up. You are w/ us and please update.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he shall make your paths straight. Prov 3:5-6

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny

LMF~

I was thinking of you last night--you are in my thoughts.

I can't imagine what you are going through because my H has no contace with OW and I don't believe he cares to be their when the boy is born. I don't believe other women wants him there. Ever since he wouldn't stay with her she hasn't wanted anything to do with him.

I can only imagine your pain and tell you that I'm here to listen--not sure if my advice is always could but I will always listen.

Like I said before--I tend think that PB would be could what do you have to lose--nothing at this point. I think that if my H was dealing with OW in this way I would have made it this long.

so a big ((((HUG)))).