I can not beleive that I am finally able to post! I have been lurking around here for two months and I registered but it would never let me "login"! Well know that I have gotten that out of the way...

I found out March 30, 2004 that my husband of almost 9 years had an affair that lasted about eight months to say that I died that day would be an understatement The woman that he had an affair with is pregnant however we know that she had also been sleeping with other men and she admits that there is a possibility that the baby is not my husbands.

My husband has begged for my forgivness and I truly beleive that he is sincere and regrets his actions. It does not however make the affair easier to swallow. I have been on a rollercoaster ride of emotions and have not been able to cope. I feel with the pregnancy that I am just haging in limbo. The OW told me that she would provide me with documentation of the due date and so forth so I waited until her appointment time then I contacted her to get the info and she refused. Why?? It is so unfair why do I have to suffer for what the two of them did without my consent? So here I am not knowing anything about the pregnancy going crazy!

The OW is my husbands brothers wife's sister as sick as it is. They do not speak to her anymore supposedly.. due to the affair.. But I feel that even if this baby is not my husbands that she will always know our buisness.

If anyone has any advice of what I can do to get this OW out of my head I would appreciate it

I doubt you will ever get OW out of your head. My WS had his A a year and a half ago and it is still ongoing. She is also pregnant and claims WS is the father. He wants a child so bad he isn't even questioning paternity. Never, ever believe what OW tells you or anyone else. They are never honest and will only try and destroy what little self esteem you have left. I too have asked myself many times why. I will forever be forced to suffer the consequences of someone else's choices and actions. If you love your H then fight for him. I don't know how as each situation is common but also different. I do know how you feel and so does every BS here. I posted The punishment doesn't fit the crime in an A and also Does WS ever go into withdrawal over us. Keep posting, it does help.

ICTI - I am so sorry you have to join us here. This roller coaster you are on is the worse thing you will ever experience in your life. But it will get better. I found out in Feb. about OW being pregnant, so I am not much further along this process than you. I can tell you I feel so much better than D-day, but yes it will probably never go away.

My thought is you can let this thing destroy you, or you can fight to survive. One thing that this has taught me is that I am a far stronger person than I ever thought. What has gotten me to this point is faith in God, posting here, and relying on some very good friends. God will not give you anything more than you can handle. He also promises that if you weather this storm, through your faith, life will be better. Stay strong, read all you can read here, keep posting, and slowly you will start to feel better.

It is good that your H is home and asking for forgiveness. That is a positive. My H moved out, which makes it so much harder to start to recover. But we are slowly getting to that point - he has even hinted at coming home. Fight for your M with all you have - you can do it!!

With the holiday weekend upon us, you probably won't get many responses. Hang in there.

This is by far the hardest thing one will ever have to go through. I have survived physical, emotional and sexual abuse, the loss of a child and financial ruin and trust me these things were a walk in the park compared to the pain I felt when I found out WS had an affair and got OW pregnant. Not once but twice. To top it off he left me for her because of the baby. I want to die every day and wish I'd never wake up.