It just seems OW gets whatever she wants, including WS and we are left suffering the consequences. WS changed into a completely different person since the day he met OW. Even his family doesn't know who he is anymore. None of them like OW either. I feel like God took away my chance for children and I don't know why. H was so different before the A. Now he is cruel and OW can do no wrong and I can do no right. Like I have said before, I have survived physical, emotional & sexual abuse, financial ruin, and I live in constant chronic pain and all of those things together don't even come close to all of this. I feel there is nothing God could ever give me that would ever make up for what I've lost.

Cyn

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">And yes I am a Christian. At least I
was until all of this happened. How on earth do
I believe in a God who would allow my heart to be crushed in a million pieces and would rather give a child to a crack w****? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I feel your pain as we all do here cuz we have been thru or are going thru it. I feel a certain closeness to you since we both have no children w/ our H's & it seems that there is less to fight for as far as keeping our M's together. I can't speak for you nor would I attempt to tell you to give up on your H, only YOU will know if & when it is time to do that, but we can't question God & it serves no purpose to blame him. Before the foundation of the world God knew that you would marry & what would happen in your M, he never wastes a hurt. Cyn if you are a christian you are a christian - that is it, you may be out of fellowship with the Lord but he will never be out of love with you, don't turn your back on God he will never turn his back on you, he sees every tear you cry & knows your pain, let him comfort you honey. Pray this scripture;

" And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

He will work this out for you, in HIS time, he will never leave you nor forsake you.

OC will be born sometime next week. I wish I could feel something but hurt and hate but I can't. I looked in the mirror and realized just how much I aged in this past year and a half. People used to tell me how much younger I looked than my age and now I can plainly see how much older I look. All because WS couldn't keep his pants zipped and OW couldn't keep her legs closed. I hate them all. My life is destroyed and they have everything. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Hi Cyn,

I feel really sad that anger is eating at you like that. I too feel anger, jealousy, and sadness so I understand. My OW is not due till Sept 15th. Sept. 15th seems like forever. WH finally told me the due date. Cyn, are getting counseling. Are you eating. Maybe if you eat better and get proper sleep you might start looking more like yourself. You sound very depressed, I would be too if I were in you situation. Cyn, I am worried about you.
{{{{{{{{{Hug}}}}}}}}}}}}}

They do NOT, I repeat, THEY DO NOT HAVE EVERYTHING! Oh it might look like it, because you're hurting right now...but they so don't!

You just posted how that baby is going to be born early. Have you any idea the stress that's going to be for all three of them? And they deserve it - excepting the baby, imo. They deserve to be scared and hurt by their decisions. Sweetie. Lemme tell you something - karma goes in full circle. Sure, you might not be a fly on the wall to get a grin out of it, but if those two never straighten out, it'll turn around and bite a big ole chunk out of their arses. Lemme tell you something else, and this is so totally the sad part - sometimes karma bites those that are closest to the evil doers just to get those evil people good and thouroughly. And I'm going to give to a thread of hope here - do you thing either one of them will ever trust the other? I mean really, she's a tart that would do anything to keep a man and he knows it (even if he won't admit it - it's still there, lurking in the back of his brain), and he's a cheater who refused to stand by his wife and SHE knows that. Right now, it's them against the world and lalala, isn't it romantic, like Romeo and Juliet....um....but remember...those two DIED at the end, so see how well it worked out for THEM!!!!!!!!!!

And guess what you don't have? You don't have to worry about a poor little crack baby, who is a month premature and has so many strikes against him already that his little future already looks pretty freaking grim. You DO have a whole flotilla of angels here to listen to you and give you a shoulder up if you need it. AND YOU HAVE THE PEACE OF MIND TO ALWAYS KNOW THAT YOUR CONSCIENCE IS CLEAR in this whole sordid thing. Give it to God baby - he wants to make it better for you. Tell it to Him - He understands, believe you me.

We know your hurt, and we're here for you. That karma circle thing - it goes for us, too. I know one day I'm gonna have a rotten day or rotten week or maybe a rotten whole month, and then - well, then it'll be someone else's turn to pull me up. But we're here for you Cyn.

- Kimmy

OC is a girl. OW delivered last night. WS always wanted a girl so I guess now he has his wish. The baby seems to be doing fine. I hate them all.

I'm so, so sorry Cyn.

Hugs.

I want to crawl in a hole and die!

Cyn, Want to make that hole big enough for two?? I'd be happy to be in such good company. My ex-WS was at the baby's birth "for the baby's sake not the OW". He brought his 17 yr old daughter from his first marriage to see the baby that same day. Its hurts me so deeply to think about him sharing this experience with the OW, that he and I never shared. We each had children from previous marriages. I became pregnant (totally unplanned)by WS shortly after he had gotten in recovery from alcohol and drug addiction. I was on medication for depression at the time. WE made the choice to have an abortion, feeling we didn't have what it would take to raise a child at this time in our lives, and didn't want to start over with kids, as ours were all in their teens. I guess the OW won. She knew exactly what it would take to keep my WS. It makes me want to puke!!!!

CYN...I know you don't reconize my user name, I lost my password to the recent one I decided to change to. I've spoken with you a couple times and I just had to post here today. Even though one of my H's x'OW's know of my user status and probaly comes here to check up on me for s**** and giggles...

God, I'm so so sorry that you are going through this. I feel so much empathy for you right now I can feel the knots in my stomach just saying that. I know it doesn't help any. I understand why you are so angry. Who the hell wants living breathing proof my their H's A! And I know this is not very MB of me nor Christian either...but I truly hope that the "Karma" (that another posted and was talking about) comes full force around the block and kicks them both off whatever fairy tale idea of a "family" they might have running through their dormented minds. I am not to predict the lords works but do you honestly think that a relationship that has come about this way will be blessed?

Christ will come and free us of such pain someday. Do you want to be left behind? Please try your hardest to see a priest, spiritual advisor, christian therapist...anyone who can offer you the encouragement you need to survive this hatred & overbearing pain the enemy has consumed you with. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> Now that he has that open door he will continue to ruin you...You are a special person Cyn...

I've prayed for you for days now...and I will for days more...your H is a ******* to be shoving your feelings aside like this. Damn him! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />
The only way I could survive knowing of the OC and the OW was knowing that I had god on my side, & my H was regretful for what he had done...was open and honest with how it came about ...and offered me the reassurance I needed to regain my faith in him...in us..in our family & to want us and not them! Even while he's incarcerated too.

It still hurts every day though...but I keep telling myself that I'm too damn good of a person to let that bipolar ***** distroy my demenor. Plus H will be away for a while. Even if she wanted him to see the boy she doesn't have any idea which correctional facility he is in and he wouldn't except anyone else's visits other then from his wife and children. Don't think she could visit without being his wife anyway...what she gonna do..hunt him down 4 years from now and finally introduce him to his father? He admitted to being a sperm donor and she admitted to being a whore...both adulters so it isn't gonna be MY problem anymore. A legal sep will protect my assests meanwhile.

Doesn't make me a better person though. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Saw picture of OC. I feel nothing for her. I sent WS a letter saying, "I heard you are a father. I know how much you've always wanted a little girl." Even to do this was extremely difficult. The rest of the letter was short and sweet. Just signed my name to it. I heard WS doesn't even want to see me now. All he cares about is OW and OC. I am nothing because I couldn't get pregnant. A friend of ours met OW once about 3 or 4 months ago and I just recently talked to him. He said, "She looks like she's jumped every fence post in the county. WS had better get a DNA test." This person has known WS since he was 14. I pray every day WS will see her for what she is. If OC does turn out to be WS's my brother-in-law said he and his W will try and take it away from OW and raise it until WS gets out of jail. I am in no position to do so now, and not sure if I could under the circumstances. I'm sure that could change. I just pray OC is "not" WS's. If it is WS's OW used the baby to control him, not because she loves him. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Thank's for your support everyone, it means a lot!

CYN,

I am soo sorry to hear your situiation. I myelsf just found out that my h had a oc. the oc is a d and i feel hurt because h has always wanted a d and I have not given him one yet. He has cut off contact with this woman though (or atleast he says) once he told me about the affair he has not had any contact with her. I am soo hurt, but I am determined to make my marriage last. I hope everythin works out for you. I look forward to talking to you soon.

OW is everything now because she gave WS the child he always wanted. It doesn't matter that she's a disgusting crack w****.

CYN,

I am sorry about you r situation but trust me your WS having a d w/OW I CAN COMPLETLY understand. Mine did the same and as yours that was what he always wanted.

He gets what he wants and I get nothing but pain & heartache!