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Joined: Mar 2004
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According to Webster's dictionary: A grifter is a person who seeks to obtain money illicitly through a confidence game.
When we received the private investigator's report last month, we saw that the OW had had an affair while married to her 2nd husband. She got pregnant, had the baby and claimed it was her husband's. It was not. Her husband divorced her shortly thereafter. Of course, the man that she was involved with had no clue that she was married until it was too late.
She then filed a restraining order against the actual father of the baby, and then called the police just about every day accusing him of anything that she could think of. He served 5 months in jail, and 1 year of probation. She was doing her darndest to have him sent to prison. She also uses this child who is now 6 as a pawn against him. She is very mentally abusive to all of her children.
She cleaned out his savings account, including his stock portfolio. The rest of the money that he had was spent on attorney fees to defend himself against all of these false accusations. The damage to this man's wallet was over $100,000. Yet, he was found guilty of most of the charges.
She got away with everything, including custody of the child AND child support. The DA's office saw her as the victim.
This was 6 years ago, and up until a month ago, she was still harassing this man and his wife which he had married after the affair had ended. Yes, the wife was harassed, stalked, identity theft, you name it.
Both of the poor people are emotional wrecks. Both are still on anti-depressants.
Enter my husband.....
Same story. Except we took action much sooner. Our attorney contacted this man, he was willing to meet with him and tell him his story. Our attorney told him that he was feeling a sense of "deja vu".
This man will testify with us tomorrow, even though he knows that the OW will renew her harassment with a vengeance. He's terrified, yet wants to see that her trail of terror gets a roadblock. Who knows how many other families that this woman has destroyed? It's also killing him to know that his child is in her custody.
My husband and I are scared to death. Do I honestly believe that a restraining order is going to protect me? After talking to this couple for over 2 hours tonight and what they've went through, I am truly afraid of this woman. I had no idea of how cold and calculating she is. She is like the Terminator...she simply WILL NOT stop until she's satisfied. And yes, these words came from this man's mouth. She hasn't crossed the line yet, but he believes that she is capable of murder. She is bi-polar, yet is not on any medication for it.
If she shows up in court and sees the 4 of us testifying against her, there is no telling what she'll think of for retaliation.
This is not revenge on our part, this is a public safety service that we'll be doing, if we can stop her from selecting her next victim. All 4 of us are united against her and hopefully will become close friends.
Please pray that God gives us the strength and courage to face this.
Edited to add: This is a partial list of what she's done to these people. If I had listed everything, this post would easily be 2 pages long. He has a stack of letters and emails/threats from her that's over 2 feet thick......and I'm not exaggerating!!!! <small>[ June 03, 2004, 11:47 PM: Message edited by: Arabesque ]</small>
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Joined: Feb 2004
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Saying a prayer for you that all goes well in court today.
What a sad woman, I hope she gets some help for herself & I hate to think of what her poor kids are dealing with living with her. She is most likely looking for her next victim now. Is there anyway other MM can get custody of his OC or would he be too terrified to try it.
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Joined: Sep 2002
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Arabesque - I don't post here much, but have been following your story. This woman belongs in jail. She deserves to have her kids taken away. Hopefully you will get a judge that can see that. What a whack-job! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
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Joined: Mar 2004
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The 4 of us just got finished with court. Of course, the OW DID NOT show up...she had sent a letter earlier in the week stating that she couldn't make it because one of her children was in the hospital.
Yeah....right.
However...the restraining order was made permanent and will be in effect for 2 years. This will only slow her down, she's not finished with us yet.
The wife of her previous victim will be coming with me to my court date to testify in my defense.
After what I've learned last night...we've decided to take this all the way and try to stop her. I want to see this man get full custody of his little girl, and all of us want her in prison.
And no...this isn't about revenge. This is about doing what's right and preventing her from destroying another person's life.
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I definitely agree w/ your actions, this woman needs to be stopped before she does this again & should have no children in her custody.
Good luck.
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In spite of our success in obtaining this harrassment injunction against FOW I'm terrified. This woman is very very dangerous and Im not sure what to do. She did not show up in court today presumably because she is not yet ready for us to know that she has been lying about being pregnat. Instead she sent a letter to the court commissioner stating her case. He read the first sentence after the clerk handed it to him and immeadiatly granted my request. So, why am I terrified? well.......
Included with her statement were some e-mails, allegedly from Myself to her, that were sent from a Hotmail account created in my name. I discovered the account and managed to sieze control of it and change the password. She sent these e-mails to herself. They basically showed me threatening her and admitting that my wife (Arabesque)was guilty of the harrassing phone calls that FOW had accused her of. Unfortunately, she also sent a copy of them to the City attorney in charge of prosecuting my wife's case. When she printed them out, she did so without header information displayed so that I cannot prove they originated from her ISP. She then deleted them off the Hotmail system.
Does anyone know how to go about getting MSN/Hotmail to cooperate in determining the ip address of the person who originally created the account and/or sent certain messages from it? If I can get help in making that determination it will not only clear my wife of the charges against her, but will help me defend myself against future attempts at indirect harrassment by this person.
Arabesque described a little bit about what this OP did to her former lover, but the biggest thing that scares me is that after speaking with him for a substantial amount of time and having him show up in court on my behalf, he and I are both under the impresion that she is mentally capable of the ultimate sin---Murder. I have FOW backed into a corner at the moment and I'm terrified that she will lash out. She is very very unpredictable and that's what scares me the most. This restraining order is nothing more than a piece of paper when it comes right down to it.
At the moment, we are accounting for our where-a-bouts at all times so that we have a constant alliby if she were to falsly accuse us of something again. But that's no way to live life. I Dont know how long we can maintain this. I really need this woman to forget all about us and get on with her life. She just won't do it.
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About that hotmail acct. I think you would need a legal subpeona sent to hotmail/msn on your behalf requesting email records ect. I think this could qualify under identity theft & I'm sure they would fully cooperate but it might take some time. Inquire to hotmail (probably under 'contact us') AND ask your attorney.
I have also read that you cannot provide emails as evidence WITHOUT the headers indicating the origin ect. (because, such as in this case, any one can just fabricate it)
Have you considered moving away?
How can this guy prove his allegations of being falsely accused of crimes if he was found guilty & served time?
I hope you guys stay safe & that this goes well for you guys so you can focus on healing your marriage.
So what does the RO cover? Any & all C from OW? Make sure you report & record even the tiniest bit of C from her!
Really, you guys stay SAFE & take care! Keep us updated.
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I've given our new friends a link to this site. Perhaps he will post his story about her sometime. Basically, she stalked him and caught him off gaurd. He was unable to account for his where-a-bouts at a particular time and so she called the police and alledged specific crimes against him. He was arrested on several charges based on her word and her word alone. Through the use of a bad attorney, he plead no-contest to a disorderly charge. He just had no way to prove he didnt do it. After her restarining order against him was granted, she called the police frequently and alledged that he was violating it. This is what caused him to get locked up for 5 months. I beleave him when he says that none of it was true, based on my own experiences with her. In her statement to the court commisioner yesterday, she said that she felt she should have a RO agaisnt me. He didn't even read that far down before granting my request. I could try and pull the same thing on her, but it would be based on fear, not facts and I don't want to stoop to her level. I have no intention of doing that to her. Right now she is probably counting on my good nature and hoping I won't do that.
My RO covers the following:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">The COURT ORDERS: An injunction be entered against the respondent and the respondent be enjoined and restrained from having contact with (my full name) were he lives, works, school, public places, by telephone, in writing, e-mail, or any other manner.
THIS INJUNCTION SHALL BE EFFECTIVE UNTIL: June 4, 2006.
Violation of this order shall result in immeadiate arrest and is punishable my imprisonment not to exceed 90 days or a fine not to exceed $1000, or both, and payment of filing and service fees. This Injunction is entitled to full faith and credit in every civil and criminal court of the United States. or any other state, or Indian tribal courts ( to the extent such trial courts have jurisdiction over non-tribal members). </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I will speak to my attorney about the lack of header information on these emails. Thank you for the advise on that.
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These OW are something else! Too bad WS's don't see this right away. What a tragedy for ones family to have to put up with this and always having to wonder what's going to happen next. OW in my case is a wacko too. BS even calls her Wacko Woman but still wants her because of the baby. What a fool. I just hope he sees the light of day before it's too late.
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