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How to deal with NC rule when there is a child?
#829949 06/04/04 12:16 AM
Joined: Aug 2002
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FlorDeLuz
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FlorDeLuz
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I have read the marriage builders principles/rules. It says that as part of recovering from an affair the Wayward Spouse should have NC with OP. I know the rules are probably modified when there is a child involved. How do you deal with it? How do you work on recovery if the NC rule cannot be applied?
Re: How to deal with NC rule when there is a child?
#829950 06/04/04 07:24 AM
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Very good question. I really do not have a good answer for that.

One thing would be to limit contact w/ OP or to have you there when contact with OP happens. This is not happening in my situation and it is very difficult for me. If you decide to have C with OC, then the OP will always be there and there will be some sort of C with OP for the next 18 years or so. Again, limit it as much as you can. A few of the BS have the contact with OW and the WS does not. I like that idea if it can work in your situation.

The other way is to decide to have NC with OC. If you take the route then you will never have to have contact with OP again!

There are others here that have been doing this far longer than me and could probably offer much better advice.
Re: How to deal with NC rule when there is a child?
#829951 06/06/04 12:29 AM
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FlorDeLuz
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I guess everyone deals with it differently. I wonder what the Harleys suggest about this.
Re: How to deal with NC rule when there is a child?
#829952 06/07/04 01:02 PM
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Most say to go though the attorney. Well that cost alot too!! But limit contact w/ op is good. You cant control the OW calling and stuff but H can control when he picks the phone up and for how long. Should be yes, no, goodbye kinda thing!! And alot have C thought the spouse. That way you keep it yes, not, thing. But its hard to get to a point where the BS can sit down and take a phone call from this OW who has your H OC? I'm still working on and praying that I can do this. But will keep you updated. Also, your H has to make the decision to cut off C. If they want to be M then be M, if not leave. I think this is a way for the WS to end the A. A show of comminment you would say.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> sunny

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