I MISSED YOUR "VOICE"! I'm glad you're back! Was it cool? I'd LOVE to see NY - I've got mommy friends up there and they're always asking me to come - I'm SO jealous......

Hey! We all have bumps in the road. The important part in all of your little bumps was that neither of you let it ruin your trip! That is a GOOD thing!

As a fellow southerner, not only do I find the hotels lack of service ghastly, I'd probably let their corporate hq know about it, too! Was it a chain?

Happy you're back!

- Kimmy

Hi,

Hotel was called Garden State Motor Lodge, I think. Anyhow I am not gonna sweat that. MIL and her husband made up. I am glad. I would hate to lose her. Husband seemed awfully concerned that we enjoyed vacation. I assured him that we did. I felt good that he cared that we had a good time. I am waiting for a call from the doctor to determine that I am OK. I am back at work and the boss just gave me a load of work to do. New York was Awesome to see. I am glad I live in the country however. I am definately a country girl. I love nature. I would miss it terribly if I had to live in the city.

Update,

I feel sort of in a state of confusion now. I thought affair was over but after overhearing husbands conversation with OW thursday night, I am not so sure. His voice was sweet and drippy. I do not know why he could not talk to her more business like. I can only imagine how he talks to her when I am not around. I am not gonna fret over it however. When he calls me fine, when he doesn't fine. I do not call him or chase him anymore. He will have to chase me if he wants me. I am withdrawing. I am tired of pouring my heart out to him only to have it crushed in a million peices. I am not sure if this is right but I think it is about setting boundaries and protecting myself. Since he is still in contact with OW for other than baby talk, I have to protect my emotions. My infection finally went away. But does that mean SF for him? I do not know but I am definately not chasing him. I have already exposed myself with him but I am still scared of STD's and the more exposure, the greater your chances of catching something. I left a post concerning contact written by KT on passenger side of his car. I asked if he read it, he said no. I asked if he threw it away. He said no but he had not read it. I hope something gets through to him. I am trying to feel peace. I tried to go to a meeting last night about abuse but nobody was there. Then I had car trouble. But I am gonna take my kids to a movie tommorrow. We are going to Carowinds Sunday. I am trying to just have some fun among all this chaos.

Genia,

I am so sorry things aren't looking better 4 U as far as H is concerned, I know how the phone calls can drive U crazy, they don't seem to understand it is a disrespect thing & that is is NOT necessary.

Keep praying 4 God to fill your heart w/ peace, do things 4 yourself & your children. Don't dwell on the negative. Maybe once OC is born U will have a better handle on what affect this will really have on your M.

If your H sees a change in your attitude it will make a difference in his, I guarantee it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Thanks Babygirl,

I am doing better about not lovebusting. I used to get depressed and cry when husband did not do what he should. Now I am disappointed but I am not crying over it. What happens, happens is my attitude now. If he decides to visit at OW's house it will be Plan B for me. I pray to God that he will have his way.

PS: I think Kimmy helped me change my attitude. In fact I think she helped a lot of people on here change their attitude. I have seen a big difference since she started posting.

<small>[ July 21, 2004, 03:25 PM: Message edited by: Genia ]</small>

Genia,

I agree that Kimmy has brought so much of a different & lighter perspective to this all. I have said many times that I think she is remakable & I do.

I totally agree that if your H wants to see OC at OW's you should plan b, w/o any second thought you have to deal with what you can live with & nothing more, this is not only about what your H wants but what YOU & family wants.

I pray God's will be done in your situation as well & whatever it is we can live with it!

Thanks Babygirl,

I do feel for you and the pain you have endured. I hope God will turn your husband around 180%. May God bless you. You also have been a source of comfort to me. Kimmy just has a way of shocking you into happy thoughts.

<small>[ July 21, 2004, 03:44 PM: Message edited by: Genia ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Kimmy just has a way of shocking you into happy thoughts.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Where's the smiley for "stop it now! I'm blushing here?"

Sorry I've not been around much. Having tummy troubles today and am just lurking.

- Kimmy

Gen, Look what is happening to LUV. If you start the V over at OW house they will exspect you to agree w/ it the whole time. DON"T START IT!!! And just tell him you can't do it. I'm there for you and I hope things get better.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny D

Hi sunny,

What I mean is I have told him. He usually does what he wants. If he does V with OW I will just kick him out and do plan B. Simple as that. I have tried to discuss with him but it always makes an argument. So I am through argueing. He knows I do not want it. So if he does it anyway, I will help him pack.

Kimmy,

You are welcome. I have noticed from BS posts a change in attitude. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

YO-BAH! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> You go girl! Stay strong! We're here for ya!

- Kimmy

Um, hello Genia - You're usually up and posting before the chickens get up.....are you actually (gasp, gag) working????

- Kimmy

Genia,

I have noticed a change in you. You have gotten a lot stronger since your earlier posts. I am glad that you have a plan all worked out and have made some decisions about your life. You ahve to be in the drivers seat. you can comfort your H and let him know that it is going to be alright, but they have to take the steps to ensure your happiness remains intact. So keep you head up and continue to work towards your goal.

Love ya,

JT

Nio,
Sorry I took off yesterday. Thanks for your support.

JT2,

I just had to recognize a weakness in myself. I am addicted to SF with my husband. When I had that infection and could not get SF with him he lost power over me. I realize I can live without it. I feel I can be strong against him by just fighting my addiction to SF. If SF makes me weak and give into being disrespected then I do not need SF. I am determined to stay strong. If you all see me getting weak, hit me with a two by four and remind me that I do not need SF if it is gonna hurt me.

Update.

I am getting better from infection. I plan on going to get another STD test soon.

OW called husband on 15th. She gave him number where she was staying. She is seven and a half months pregnant now. He did not call hardly till she called him. Now he calls her almost ever day. He did not call her last weekend because he was having fun with me and my daughter. It seems he always calls her now when I am working on the weekends. I am so aggravated that he thinks he has to call her so much. I have been trying to spend money on him and show him a good time but I have to work to have money for us to go out and have fun. Maybe I am trying too hard. Why does he refuse to make his calls in my pressence. He thinks I am being insecure by asking for this. I am so feeling unloved by him. He is so insensitive by saying he wants to get laid when he knows I have had infection. I have been accomadating him with oral sex. I will be glad when I am sure all infections are gone but I feel frustrated that he disrespects me by insisting on calling. If I do not pay cell phone bill, I will lose connection to tracking his calls but it will probably be for the best. I am running low on money but I think he is gonna pressure me to pay the cell phone bill, or want me to cut something I want to pay it.

<small>[ August 02, 2004, 12:19 PM: Message edited by: Genia ]</small>

Ready for Plan B.

Update under Genia Posted by Niosgirl.