It's the first day of school and it's raining and miserable. I lost my temper with my daughter on our way out the door. How could I do that with my sweet child! I couldn't even walk her to the school doors--there was no place to park. It's been two weeks since H left and I'm still finding excuses not to tell her. She doesn't even mention his absence.<P>The three of us spent Saturday together at the CNE. It was my idea. We had a good time but he doesn't even say goodbye to me when he leaves. I don't expect a kiss mind you, but is it considered being unfaithful to the OW to say goodbye? I don't know if I want to be just friends anymore. Friends don't make cutting remarks on your appearance (ie. versus prior to the affair). I've lost 17 lbs. since the midst of his affair and he thinks I was dieting!<P>I don't know why I'm in this "waiting" mode. He hasn't given any indication that he wants to work on our marriage. He mislead me for two months since the day of discovery. Telling me that he had put it on hold. On D-Day (appropriate name!), I asked him if he loved her. His answer--I still care for you. Funny way of showing it! Unless he means by that, he will support me until I find a job. I want him to tell me now that he doesn't love me. I want to hear those words from him so I can move on and not be stuck indefinitely in this s----y "waiting" mode!<BR> <BR>

Sweety, it sounds as though your holding your breath, now, take 3 really deep breaths and let them out slowly. Now, slow down, don't think about this for a minute. Now, what is the best thing for YOU. It sounds as though your trying to do the best thing for everyone else and have forgotten that you too have needs and they need to be expressed! Remember, you can do this in a non-lovebusting way, but you deserve a chance after this long in the marriage to work things out with both your eyes open and all the junk out on the table. Read my signature, you should think about this, it's the best piece of advice I ever got from my counsellor, I know, sounds strange but think about it. How can you work things out if your blind to them? I think he needs to be told where YOU stand so he can open up, you could wait forever for him to make the move and if you don't make it he will go on his own way. Tell him where you stand. I will pray sincerely for you, God Bless.<P>------------------<BR>Chick's<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!<BR><p>[This message has been edited by chick's (edited September 07, 1999).]

I have understood my part in the breakdown of our marriage. I have sent him many e-mails on the subject---searching for answers. However, he never responds to them. When he comes over, it is very difficult to talk for my daughter is around. He will only come over so as to see her. <P>The second last time I saw him he asked for his car key back. His lease was expiring and so he would be getting another car. He said that I probably wanted my car keys back. I was shaken--so I accepted them, muttering that it didn't hurt to have a spare set. I wanted to give them back to him yesterday. I asked him to dinner. He couldn't make it so I said maybe some other time. But what if he doesn't accept them? <BR>