H and I are having a tough time finding an attorney we can afford. Anyone have any links to someplace on the web we can use as a reference?
We're thinking maybe H can ask judge to send the case to a mediator. Anyone with experience with that?
Thanks for any help.

When I was looking into this I found some info on the web. Do a searh on Pro Se in your state. In the state where my case is being heard they have a help line. Also if you are the respondant you can get free legal help. As I was the plantiff I could not, nor could I represent myself, as I do not live in the state. My case was dismissed because I could no longer afford legal council. The father f my baby doesn't have to pay a dime.

Good luck, there is help out there, you just have to dig.

H represented himself for last CS hearing, it went well. But it did take quite a few 'practice runs' (ie: other 'bad' hearings) before he really got the hang of it.

You just have to educate yourself about it. Our state requires mediation before every custody hearing & either party can request it @ any time, it is free.

You can look into a court facilitator (different states/courts have different names for this) they can offer legal help for free, sometimes only CS cases & not custody.

Search your courts web site, look into legal libraries. You can usually access these @ the courts. Our courts offer booklets w/ directions on how to fill out all forms your self & you can get copies of the forms also.

They are not that hard but can be intimidating.

The most important thing about representing yourself in the court room is to come prepared......educate yourself on practices & policies, familiarize yourself w/ the judge. Do they seem to favor fathers who are involved? or want to be? Are they harsher on dead beats? Do they favor mothers no matter what?

Always be respectful to the judge @ all times but BE ASSERTIVE, you are your OWN lawyer so you can say whatever you want but if you act/look like an idiot instead of representing yourself intelligently, then no one will respect you.

Our experience has been that you need to really earn their respect whereas it is automatically given to an attorney. Not fair but that has been our experience.

We represented ourselves in trying to get visitation with husband's kids. Our case was weird in that we asked for visitation and paternity test. We got no test but full-time custody with no interference from their mother at all. I agree with above poster that you have to gain respect of court and know what you are doing. They are a bit more patient with your lack of knowledge but they expect you to know the rules. We used friend of court and I also did a lot of research about pro se. We also had a six inch notebook packed with documents. Some were irrelevant, but we took them anyway to show that we were prepared. One important thing was a dated diary kind of thing with lists of attempted contacts, etc. We also took a parenting class sponsored by the state and had our home inspected in preparation if the judge asked for those things. We practiced like for an interview all the things we could think of that the judge might ask. We really worked hard. And the court was 700 miles from our home too. It can be done and it was a lot cheaper. We consulted two attorneys who helped give us ideas, but you are right their fees were just toooooo much.

I say "we" lightly. I did all the legwork, paperwork, research about the mother, court procedure, judge, and custody stuff in general. Behind the scenes I did it all. When it came to the hearing, I was not even allowed in the courtroom because I was not a party in the case. I may be the wife (and now their mother) but no one cared who I was or what I thought or anything about me at all. I am still shocked that a judge would place children into a home without even meeting the person who would logically be step-mother, especially in an affair situation.

Now...the kids are great. Hubby is still in a fog! New day, new gf (actually there are several)! And with each one he'll say "I think I finally found someone who can make me happy." Wish he'd grow up.

We also represented ourselves at the last custody hearing.
We had talked with the Guardian Ad Lietum prior to filing and I also chatted with cdcollins from our board here.
Both ladies provided good information for us to use.

We, I too use that term lightly as I also did the legwork, filed pro se for primary custody.
When we filed we included documentation of all the Parenting Time of both parties over the past year and a half. Documentation of the times that OW requested that we keep Lil Bit for longer than the alloted Parenting Time.

I was allowed in the court room during all the hearings, with an attorney and without. I was NOT allowed in the first Mediation, but WAS allowed at the mediation for holiday schedules and the final mediation of the parenting schedule. I was even required to sign the Parenting Agreement from the last hearing.

Stacia

Husband and I have finally decided to represent ourselves in the next hearing. We figured it was best to take the money we do have and apply it to the back child support. It would lower the monthly payments.
I know I am going to have to do alot of legwork but that's ok.
I was wondering....I finally had a long talk with my sisters yesterday and they are willing to go to the hearing for support. Do you think that will make any difference to the judge by having our families there?

NOPE! But so what......let them go anyway to support you & H.

Think about it...how would the judge even know who was your family? Nametags? Introductions? LOL

Seriously though, do whatever you are comfortable w/ & what makes you feel better. IF it makes you guys feel better to have support close by then do what you need. Every one needs support.

Hang in there. Hope H does well in court. BE ASSERTIVE & respectful to the judge & don't let the DA or OP attorney bully you!