oc is due any day, xow is starting bs with our family, we are strongly considering pay cs and nc
with oc we talked about it and we decided nc with either would be the best thing for our M and our Family, i feel bad about nc w/oc but we are relizing it would be for the best for us.we will have to put oc in God's very capable hands, we wanted c w/oc but w/xow's action/behavior we are thinking it would be impossibe to live a 'normal"lfe w/ her interferance

First, if you haven't already done so, get yourselves a good attorney.

Secondly, you don't even know if your H is the father yet. This ow is the one w/ 13 father possibilities, right? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

I know chances are usually slim, but in this case, you might have some success in gaining primary custody. Just a thought. It's perfectly understandable if you don't want ANY contact though.

I suggest neither of you have any contact with her unless and until DNA proves your H to be the father. Then the C only needs to be through a 3rd party. You don't need the added stress right now, ESPECIALLY since you don't even know if H is the bio.

Do not permit her into your lives anymore.

I wish you well.

~ad

yes for her daughter f 13 where tested none the f, oc is due 25th and it's stressing me out, it really makes me feel hurt, when i always thought i would be only one to have my h's children, and he doesn't get why i'm so upset.

Hi,

Make sure your husband take paternity test. If he is not father, You will not have to pay CS.

thanks, wish i could be less upset <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> right now,h is constantly reasureing he won't leave when oc is born , and we talked and he's feed up w/ow he has decided to pay cs of course only if oc is his, i'm so stresses all I do is cry <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> . wish this whole situation would go away. he tells me he loves me and is going nowhere, and i belive him, so why am i still so upset is it becauseoc is due anytime <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> .

Hey angel, how is everything going. Its been a couple of days and we haven't heard from you. Is the OC here yet? Are you taking any AD? Just checking up on you. I hope everything goes well.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny D

Things are OK so far Sunny, OC is due today, last sister-in-law heard from ow is she didn't want H to know when OC is born <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> ;why is she so sure it's my H's , and she so detemined for CS, find that really Wierd, she contacted h's parents and told them about OC, when nobody is even sure it's his till DNA, I'm really lost on that, you'd think she'd be in a hurry to prove it's H's like she's claimed, aslo find out fist time he came home for a week back in mid Sept, she had a male freind vist from out of town, and she had flowers from her freind in her Bedroom??? I'm becoming convinced she mentally ill, with all this wierd behavior this past week. FYI hubbu came home to stay last week of Sept.
Don't know how or why but i've begun praying for her and oc.

Praying for her is a good thing.

You ask, why are you so upset even though you know H will stay w/ you?

Well, because it never should have happened in the first place that's why!

I believe NC is the only way to ensure peace in your lives & fully restore your marriage to it's greatest potential. That's just my opinion.

Hang in there & don't allow any unnecesary stress into your lives by having ANY C w/ OW. Nothing until hearing to establish paternity.

And yes, get a good family law attorney, CS can be shockingly high.

Take care.

Ok, its friday you and H go do something special, go eat, to a movie whatever. Let her know your life is going on. I would contact a lawyer and get the test and c/s set as soon as poss. Don't give her any money yet, just put it back for when it is proven it is his. If not take that money and go on a trip!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I'm keeping you and your in my prayers and I'm glad to see that the anger and the willingness to fogive the OW is coming to you, since your praying for them and I hope the OC is healthy. Are you going to do contact? Oh and by the way most OW are mental, look how they live their lives? So yea they are. Good luck and try and have a good weekend.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny D

unfortunatly we have no money for a lawyer <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> .
any ideas? we are really strapped for$$ , hubby only getting 20 hrs a week-min. wage and me doing a paper route(s). opps he starts a new jod 6th of July at $8.5 hr, and i've got an interview Mon. for bank teller at $9 hr.
We would like to have c with oc just wonder how to do it with pshyo ow , we deffinatly want nc w her <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
our children(d-11,s-9) know about oc and want to get to know oc but ow wants no c from any of with oc.
she is so selfish . she should think of everyone involved not just herself, I know keep dreaming , right.

<small>[ June 25, 2004, 12:04 PM: Message edited by: angels1966 ]</small>

Call the CDC in your area. You can get c/s set though them w/o a lawyer, or even a mediator could write something up. But if you are determined to do C, then you need to get everything in writing as soon as possible. The courts look at your avoiding your responiblities if you dont. Dont wait on her. You will have to pay for the DNA test, but if it comes back not his she will have to pay you back!! If your doing NC then pay her support and go on. Even if she said she didn't want any. This is a lie on their part. I tell everyone to cover your butt first and formost. But if he pays support and she bothers you, you can get a restaining order or get her for stalking. So keep up with all the crazy stuff she is doing or does!!! Never, never be alone w/ this woman! They lie and don't put your self in a situation that she can make crap up. If she starts calling, get a recorder, and tell her she is being recorded, then you will have proof. Thats what a judge will look at is proof. Other wise she looks like this poor girl that was taken advantage by this so called "unhappy" MM and now she's been dumped! I hope everything works out, but do some searching on the internet and find out what YOUR rights are here too!! The are like big bullies holding stuff up in your face waiting for you to break! And we are all stronger than that!!!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny D
Delighted it is Friday
Delighted God has given me another day
Delighted He has given me the strength I need
Delighted we are all here to support each other