.Found out by accident that OC has been born, I ran into Xow at welfare office and saw her, her daughter and possible OC. I'm proud of the way i handled myself, just smiled politley and turned away, didn't say a word to OW <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> . I'm sure that really p'd here off as she didn't want us to know when or if oc was born.
Find it really ironic I was first to see oc and tell my H about it; told him and cried alittle bit, h was wonderful to me held me, kissed me and said Your the one I Love, wich made me cry happy tears. We told me he was proud I did so well when i saw xoc/oc and told him about oc, so was my consular,I suprised myself!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
I do think baby looks like our son,ouch <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> .
But only time and dna will tell.
Weird thing is i wanted to hold that baby in my arms and tell him i love him,WHY?
On a lighter note, my kids are staying for 2 weeks with thier Aunt, so H and I are alone and enjoying each other very much <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> . I do miss our kids and call and talk to them everyother day at the least.
H called cs and he is filling for paternity test and all; she never bothered, I find that weird for someone who claims he's h and want's cs from him.
M-11yrs
S-9
D-11
oc-June 2004, healthy

Good for you! She's so not worth it anyway. Sorry for the situation. Babies always melt hearts don't they?

Hey, a side note here though, if she was @ the welfare office...was she applying? because if so your H will have to pay it ALL back if dna proves it's his. Just so you know. They will file for her (on behalf of child) and sue H for CS but theym are usually slow about it <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> so you end up w/ an arrearage bill sometimes worth years.

Our STOW went on welfare which was annoying because she could have just CALLED us but the 'state' did not 'find' H until 2 years later....so we have 2 years of arrears on our credit report as an unpaid debt even though we ARE paying & never knew she was on welfare for those 2 years.

So anyway...it's good that H is filing for paternity right away. The sooner the better.

Hope you have a good weekend.

Oh what a tangled web we weave....

Sounds like the OW got caught in her own web, eh? Karma bites back is all I can say.... I'm SO proud of you for taking the noble tack. It's always the best choice, imo.


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Weird thing is i wanted to hold that baby in my arms and tell him i love him,WHY?
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Because as compassionate human beings, once we wrap our brains around these issues, we understand that no baby had a hand in it's conception - no matter how base or crude. And as mothers, we naturally want to protect all children from the harshness of the world.

You are smart, very smart, to get the DNA going. It will look good to the courts that you are being proactive and if his, responsible for the oc.

You handled it well. It probably drove her nuts to know that her game is ruined. You and your husband need to take control of this situation at an early date. Demand the DNA test, get things moving and set up the way you want it set up. Contact or not, you can have it whatever way you want if the oc is his. Want contact? She can't say no to it. Don't want contact? She can't force it. The only thing she is entitled to is cs and that is it. She knows it, you know it and it drives her nuts. She gets midnight feedings alone, morning feedings alone, dirty diapers alone, everything alone. You get a remorseful husband who holds you and kisses you and is loving you up. You get the strong arms to hold you as you sleep. You get the man who looks at you with amazement and love and respect as he realizes what he may have lost. You are far better off then her.

As for the baby, most women love babies and want to cuddle them. I love babies. Glad I don't have any at home.....but do love to babysit them!!!!!

Thanks to all for being here for us right now,
Looked up her homepage on aol, STOW had gall to say she was a devoted mom 2 her 2 kids,lol, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> didn't know drinking and partying everyweekend makes a devoted mom, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />
gees whiz and i thought it meant being their and doing things with you kids and H,taking care of your family etc. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
She also posted on a homepage that she;s looking for someone to be a father to her 2 kids,imo to rasie them for her since she doesn't, the poor sap is in for a huge suprise : <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />
Would love to know how i can record her weekly drinking and partying, we do know where (bars) she goes to , any ideas?!

<small>[ July 13, 2004, 03:11 PM: Message edited by: angels1966 ]</small>

Just wanted everyone to know we(h & i) and our family's haven't heard anything from xow since the day i saw her ,her daughter and baby.
Still wondering how we can prove it about her drinking and parting in court, also found out she sells her foodstamps in order to do so <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> , that's taking food out of those kids mouths, just so she can go out drinking and partying!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />
H says he wants to have her show recipts of how cs is being spent because of it and so do I.
But all that is if & after paternty show oc is his.
Do any of you have any ideas on how we can prove this in court? Please, help!

I really don't think she has to show where the support is being spent. CS is for the house note, elec bill, groc, ect. If you know she is unfit, call DHS, get as much free help as you can get. If not a PI is very expensive and if you follow her, its stalking. So, I would call what agency in your area that deals with these issues and use them. Yes it takes longer, but if she truly is unfit the child would be better off w/ someone else. But trust me, when you start this it will get dirty. And don't start it unless you plan to finish it. It takes awhile to prove these things, but its not impossible. And please just don't base this search on hear-say! My grandmother said beleive none of what you hear and only 1/2 of what you see, cause what you are seeing may not be what it truly is. Just because someone is on food stamps and just because she may go for a drink, doesn't make her unfit. But what she is doing to and not doing for the children do. Good luck ! And I will be thinking about you.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny D