I posted on the other board and didn't get much response. They say an A survives somewhere from 3-7%. I'm not sure if this is accurate. I was wondering what the percentage was when OC is involved. Does anyone know?

Cyn by what I've seen it's not much higher. They are few and far between.

Cyn - The odds I've seen are "snowballs chance in h-e-double-hockey-sticks" also known as (from what I've read) lasting around 6 months or so after the A comes "out of the closet" so to speak.

- Kimmy

Doesn't OC make it harder to walk away though?
And about how long do you have to wait? H has been with OW for 1 1/2 yrs. now. OC is 2 weeks old.

<small>[ July 07, 2004, 06:20 PM: Message edited by: Cyn1018 ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Cyn1018:
<strong> Doesn't OC make it harder to walk away though?
And about how long do you have to wait? H has been with OW for 1 1/2 yrs. now. OC is 2 weeks old. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">NOPE not for most. Just read..........NOt mentioned for insult, but look at all the xmm with nc. Some I'm sure feel guilty for both actions, but they are few and far between.

My H says it was not hard for him to end the A even tough OC was involved because he cared about ME more. He still wants Contact with OC though. That is jut the type of man he is. He feels as if he needs tobe there for his C. I was mad about it at first but I have to accept it in order to make my marriage work. I beleive that he would NEVER sleep with this woman again, so I am not too worried (but trust me there is a little doubt) and we are working on that right now.

Lonely of course you have doubt, but he will have to prove himself to you and also you should be a part of that child's life. After all you are the stepmom and your husband's wife. I'm sure he means what he says to you about xow too. Trust me even though I'm on the other end of this, I can see the handwriting on the wall. At least your trying and that's all you can and pray for the best to happen. Good luck to you and your husband.

I am in similar situation as Cyn1018, I think. I have been waiting for WH to come out of the fog, but I am ready to throw in the towel.

He says he doesn't want divorce and loves me. Continues to call and tell me he loves me, but continues to live with OW and OC and I am beginning to think that he will be one of the small percentage that will stay with OW and OC.

In the last 4 months he has been calling more frequently and only recently confided in me that their relationship isn't going to work out. Our conversations are becoming longer, more frequent and more personal.

Here is my question, and will perhaps help CYN with hers as well. Is this a "real" move towards reconciling with me or is this just more "cake eating?" D-day will be two years this month, and that was my original length to wait, based upon statistics. Do I now revise and hang in there?

Does anyone have anything similar to CYN's or my situation, and if so, is it just a matter of time, or is there something I could be doing?

My husband and I don not live close, and do not see each other - is that at mistake? I am concerned about the OC and her not having her Daddy living with her should our M be restored - maybe I should just get the D and be done with it.

I have been Plan A'ing for some time, but want to get on with my life - with or without WH.

I hate what my WH has done, but I love him, and we have been together for 18 years - many of them good.

Let me add that I am a Christian and do not believe in D, and I could certainly use some positive feedback.

Thanks and God Bless all of you.
Cajeanie

cajeanie, I think it's cakewalking. He should at the very least be living by himself and not any other woman if he wants to get back with you. More than likely he is doing to you right now, what he was doing to the ow while still with you. Tell him if he is serious to leave her and move closer to you and get his own place if your not ready for him to come home. Cyn situation is a bit differnt as her husband can't come home right now...he is not even with the ow living anyways. There options are limited. You on the other hand have options with h. Good luck. I would not say give up, but I would not allow him to live with her and pursue you. Does she know he is calling you and all? In a way....she is getting back what happened to her. Which I"m not saying is a good thing either....but it sounds like a game to me. Do you have any kids with him?