This is my fist post to MB and I thought someone here may have some insight. WW got pregnant with OM's baby about two months ago. I thought we had decided to work on out marriage together but now I am starting to get frustrated.

WW says she loves me but will not actually DO anything that can be construed as love. She says she cannot fill ANY of my EN's because she is sick from the pregnancy and having issues with her lack of medication. (WW diagnosed with bi-polar)

I have been doing what I can to fulfill her EN's and get this marriage back on track but she is freezing me out and using the pregnancy as an excuse. (too sick to do anything) This will be our fourth child and this marriage has not been fulfilling my EN's since just after the first was born. (now 6 years) I am not looking for sex but just some affection or affirmation or something that tell me I am getting through and its getting better.

Does coming off medication and being pregnant absove WW from using the MB concept and working on this marriage???

Any help is appreciated.

Welcome to marriagebuilders. I never post here, only in general questions, but thought I would pop over. You might want to post in general questions too. Weekends are very slow.

You sound like a good man who wants to keep his family together. I think that coming off the meds, being pregnant, and going through this mess is what has your wife down.

Please give more information. And stick with us. You can have a better marriage than ever if you follow the program.

Any preganancy experts?

Julius,

It's extremely hard for a wayward spouse to reenter a marriage and begin working on it when pregnant. Throw your wife's medical condition on top of it, and you're in for a long haul.

I would suggest that you practice patience. Don't kill yourself meeting her needs---you should be doing things that you expect to maintain for the rest of her life. Make it a priority to meet the top 2 or 3 needs, and make sure you're eliminating lovebusters. Other than that, there's not a lot you can do to force someone to work on the marriage. I had a similar situation with my wife (not bipolar, but pregnant with OM's baby, our third). It took her at least three months to get through withdrawal, and she didn't start counseling until the baby was six months old. Your wife is probably suffering through withdrawal right now. Patience is really your only option, if you want to keep the marriage together.

Julius -

webmd.com and babycenter.com might be able to answer some of your med questions you have regarding your wife. I DO have two friends in my mommy group that are diagnosed bi-polar who were able to take meds while pg. Do you go with your wife to the doc visits? Just a thought - her bi-polar issues might be compounding the depression that WS's feel when they are going through withdrawl....

Hugs and prayers to you and your family...

- Kimmy