I am so scared and down. I am scared to leave because if I have something wrong with me nobody will want me unless they have the same thing I have, If I do have something. Anyhow waiting seems like forever. Talking to husband about my fears only brings an argument. I feel so hopeless lonely and down. I sometimes think nobody cares about me but my mother and my kids. I cannot talk to either right now. I am not close enough to my Mom to talk about my problems. I was brought up in a puritan type family where everyone is expected to be perfect.

Genia,

I know you're worried, but you really should get yourself checked out.

It could very well be nothing more than a yeast infection. It's very common for those to be triggered by or aggrivated by stress.

Hi,

You do not understand. I have been to the doctor twice in the last month. I have taken 4 medications. My infections went away. I did not have SF for a month and a half. I had SF sunday night. Now I have an infection again. So DH gave it back to me. I have a prescription waiting for me at Walmart. But I am so scared I might have something serious. I asked them if they could treat my husband but they did not act like that was necessary.

mNtb is right-----knowledge is the best defense.

AND what is this 'no one will want me' CRAP???? Your self-worth is measured by who YOU are not by who wants you or not! You are not the value of the man you are with! You are the value of YOU-----GOD loves you no matter who you are w/ & died for you----no MAN will ever do that for you.

If we were measured by the company we keep? Uh..hello we are surrounded by a bunch of losers & liars right? Even if they are reformed.

You should know better than that anyway.
Are you a great mom? Are you a nice person? Are you helping others? The best way to feel better about yourself is to help someone who has it worse than you. Really, go to the local shelter & start volunteering or something---do something worthy of building up your self-esteem.

You can do it. You are better than this----go to the Dr. & set your mind @ ease.

Genia,

It is VERY VERY VERY common for a man to give a yeast infection back to his partner after she has treated herself. They can pass it back and forth indefinately.

I understand you're freaked, but honestly, I'll bet it's just a Y.I. If it were something more, you would likely have other symptoms.

I agree, get to the Dr. tell him your concerns, be honest about what H has been doing and who with.

Second, it could be a yeast infection and yes, maybe it's from him. It could also just be your nerves, that can have a lot to do with the way our bodies act.

Hi,

I hope you all are right. KT thanks for responding to me. I just think that I have to have a partner. I have never been without a man for more than a year. During that year I was so depressed but then, I had no money and no entertainment. I was literally trapped with my kids and I had no friends to call. I fear getting old and haveing no friends. I just do not know what I can do to stop this from happening. I am so afraid my husband will leave me. Yet I do nto want this relationship if he is gonna continue relations with OW behind my back. So I am afraid to stay and afraid to leave.

Also if you do plan to have further intimate relations with your H, you have EVERY right to tell him he must wear a condom until OW is completely out of his life and he has been tested for STDs.
If he has a problem with that, it's just another red flag that he's being a selfish jerk.

Hi Luv,

Thanks for your response.

MeNtheboyz,

I hope you are right. I have been under a ton of stress with the fear of husband being with OW. Fear of being by myself. Feeling lonely, financially strained, overworked. Like I have nobody to turn to. Lost and undone.

Hi,

MeNtBoyz,

Husband refuses to wear a condom. He was in contact with OW a month and a half ago. He told me I should just trust him that they did not have relations. He also refuses to be tested and was angry that I was suspicious.

Then Genia, cut him off.
Period. No explainations.

He has NO RIGHT to endanger your health!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />


BTW, I meant to tell you, I think you might also want to check out the link on emotional abuse that I listed for LMF...

While you're taking your meds for the infection, you might want to take some acidophilus tabs....they'll help with your good flora in your bod.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Acidophilus supplies friendly bacteria that is usually deficient in people with fungal infections </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Here is more info on yeast infections:

Here

- Kimmy

PS - I wrote you back, check your mail.

Thank you all so much. Boss just gave me some work to do. Gotta get busy. My MIL just had a heart attack. She died and they brought her back. Oh I feel so bad for her. I have gotten very close to her. Thanks Kimmy.

hahahahahah laughing histarically!

That ol' "you just have to trust me" line!
If that's not thee BIGGEST----I have something to hide line-----then I don't know what is!

The law of physics: (i think <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ) Every action has an opposite & equal reaction

He has consequences for his behavior. he lies-you don't trust ANYTHING he says. He cheats- he MUST get tested for stds & anything else. HE C OW-tests, condoms OR NO SF!!!!!

DUH!!!!! genia, the behavior you are describing of yourself is VERY unhealthy behavior. YOU DON'T 'just have to' trust ANYONE.

Sometimes, if we are only used to unhealty behavior (disfunctional families/abuse)we can no longer recognize it & healthy people can see it & we think they are over-reacting. But they are NOT, us unhealthy ones are just UNDER-reacting.

AND if H refuses to wear a condom (which does not protect against all std's) but you still want to have SF, you can choose to use a female condom. No one canforce you to do anything.

But, just personally, I think you really need to start working on just YOU w/o any man. Maybe some individual counseling?

jsut a thought.

You DO deserve better than this---no matter what you think about yourself or your fears.

<small>[ July 28, 2004, 01:26 PM: Message edited by: ktbunch ]</small>

Genia I am in tears reading this. I can feel your pain coming through in the words you type. I am with the rest of them.... you have to put your foot down and insist that he get tested or wear a condom. If he refuses, cut him off. He is placing you at risk, ignoring your needs and insisting on having his way. I agree with KT on the 'just trust me' line. That is what got you here to begin with. Why would he think that you would trust him now????? I can't understand why a WS is so upset when they are questioned and ask to report in or validate their where abouts. They are the ones who made this mess. They were trusted and proved to be untrue... duh!!! Once burned, twice shy!!

Also you may have a type of Vaginitis that is passed back and forth easily. And both parties have to take medication for this (I been there) not just the female.

Now about this
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> just think that I have to have a partner. I have never been without a man for more than a year. During that year I was so depressed but then, I had no money and no entertainment. I was literally trapped with my kids and I had no friends to call. I fear getting old and haveing no friends. I just do not know what I can do to stop this from happening. I am so afraid my husband will leave me. Yet I do nto want this relationship if he is gonna continue relations with OW behind my back. So I am afraid to stay and afraid to leave.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You are worth more that what he is giving you. You have it inside of you to make friends, have relationships and not be alone. He has you believing that you have to accept whatever he gives you because you are not worthy of anything more. That is crap. You need to look into some things for you and only you. You are a beautiful person, God doesn't make anything less, you cannot accept anything less. I can fully sympathize with the down in the dumps, depressed, worthless, poor me feelings. I really can, but you have to know that you are more than what he makes you. You are a wonderful child of God, not a lowly wife of an abusive man. You have lots to offer and he is the one losing. Take a good look at what you do have to offer.... love, support, loyalty, affection, ect.... he is rejecting this and insisting that you concede to his demands. You need to put a stop to it.... NOW. Please know that I only say these things out of friendship and caring. I will be praying for you.

Hi,

Thank you all so much for caring. I hope it is not too late. I should have thought of the female condom. I have never used one and forgot about it. Yes I have always had men abuse me. Physically and mentally. So guess that is all I am used to. Got to get back to work. Thanks.

Genia,
Go back to your doctor and ask him to check you for trichomoniasis (sp?).

My H picked that STD up from his ONS and gave it to me. For a while, I thought it was a yeast infection and would self-medicate with vaginal creams. It would go away....until we had sex again. And, yes, he will also need to be treated for it!

I don't know if trich has to be active before the Dr. can diagnose it, but ask your Dr.

Actually, what you should do is go to your Dr., explain that your H has cheated, and get tested for EVERYTHING!

LC

Lady,

I already have been tested for everything but it was only 15 days after husband spent night in OW's town. Maybe it was too soon. It has been a month and a half now. I told husband I wish Doctor's would treat him too. He got very angry then. He thought I was blaming him. To calm him down, I told him that I want to get rid of my infection by whatever means possible. I told him that if we are passing it back and forth then he may need to be treated to make it go away. He seemed alright after that. I take new medication. If it does not go away I go back to Doctor monday.

Urrgh! Double Post

<small>[ July 30, 2004, 08:27 AM: Message edited by: Genia ]</small>

Well, I was blessed with trich from my exWS. He said it couldn't possibly have been from him cause his OW had prenatal tests and was fine....yeah,,, i bet that's what she told him!!! I had never had anything like this before. And alot of my symptoms had actually gone away before I was diagnosed during an annual pap. He actually had the nerve to say "Are you trying to tell me something? Have you been messing around!!!" UGHHHHHHHHHHHH And yes, he had to be treated with medication or he could reinfect whomever. I just count my lucky stars that it was something treatable. And, yes, stress can very much affect our body chemistry, making us more susceptible to infections.