Hey girl just wanted to here your update that always give me inspiration! You guys own another house in a different town? You guys are goign to move right? I thought you guys owned your own business--but I guess I mixed you up with someone else.

Hey albany. No we don't own or own business and yes we have the "love shack" about 3 hours away form our home. It's a log cabin near the lake and a nice river. It's like being in a different world. It's so laid back and it gets its name honestly! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> We would love to move there just waiting for God to open the door for us. If he sees we need to be there than he will make it happen. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> We are just waiting for the OC arrival and then I guess we will see what happens. Somedays I feel, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Yes, I can do this and at others I say what the crap am I doing here? <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> I am just as messed up in my head about what I want as everyone here. My H has been supportive for the most part. But in the same sence I think he knows I am having my reservations about all of this. We don't have much time alone and I really would like to get somethings answered so I feel it will be coming to a head soon. I just ask God for the strength to BE NICE! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> And calm when we do find the time and go from there. But like most of you I have a peace in my heart that only God can give me and whatever the out come I know I and my child will be fine. I am a better person and I am the strongest one of our situation and I will go on to be blessed in my actions over all of this. God knows what an effort I have made to make my M work and except this child into my life. And if I am not to be here he will be showing me that soon also. (Waiting on an email from GOD) LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny D
Delighted that I have friends like ya'll
Delighted that he lives in and though me!
Delighted that I have a heart filled w/ the ability to forgive.
Delighted that I am Loved!

Just wanted to say that I'm very happy for you. I know I'm letting H ence sit but I have actually seen more positive things that than pushing him away--maybe I tend to allow that because he isn't with OW. I tend not to post much because he is fence sitting and I know it and you all know it so I figure what is the point of updating whenever will just say he is fence sitting--but I tend to only post about the bad and never mention the good so it isn't all as bad as I portray it. I think what frustrates me the most is that from outsiders who see us we appear great--get along well etc.--if we argued or fought all the time it would be different--don't know much more than I don't know.

Ultimately glad to hear updates on your success so far.

Albany thanks for asking! Anytime you want to talk and you have yahoo mess and see me on then just IM me! Hunny I know the need to talk to someone and if you ever feel the need just go right ahead! You can get my email under the sis of fire site and feel free. I am there for you. I have had sooo many there for me, I can only repay the favor. I'm glad your H has put the OW behind you and I think he doesn;t want to leave. he is still there. I think so many of our H think we wil be the person that we once where that its inreal! I think we all have changed for the better and even if we are not married to these brain dead sperm donors they don't know what God has made us out to be ! I think this is the best, strongest bunch of girls that I have ever seen and God is going to bless us all w/ people in our lives that love and cherish us beyond belief! So when ever you are in need just IM me or email and I will be looking for u! I love and thank God for each and everyone of you !!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny D
Delighted to be YOUR friend
Delighted that I get to talk to ya'll (southern thing again)
Delighted that God loves each of us
Delighted that I truely know what love is!

Hi Sunny,

Are you choosing to bring OC into your home. I think the main reason for me to leave husband is that he does not even dicuss contact with OC with me and I really do not know his plans. If he really thinks he will have visitation in OW's home then it is the end of us for sure. I did want him out of my life because of this unsureity. Yet he does not want to leave and plans to make things as difficult on me as possible. Yet he is confusing me because the more indifferent I act towards him the more love he shows me. I think he is really afraid of losing me. But I think he wants his freedom too like Albany's husband and we got to make sure they don't get both.

Glad things are going well with you. I think my H's problem is that he is in fog about M in general--I think he thinks M should be like it was the first year or two and we all know it changes over time and there are constant struggles--I told him if you are looking for it to be like it was when we were first married then you better nevr get married again and you had better just skip from one tothe next.

My H is a little like Genia's but yet very different because mine has nothing directly to do OW but with us as a married couple. Anyway keep me posted SD.

Albany, I can say I wished the H where like they where when we met them also, remember the nights out, the great (not in your mind thinking about babies, bills ect) sex! I do! Thats why I tired my tubes so we could "enjoy" our children get them grown and still be "young" enough to enjoy one another. Ok so lets be fair, if we have to be these "ONE HOT MOMMA's then should they be our ONE HOT DADDY's? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Just a though. Not to hear something hurts or cant find, oh would that not be the life! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> I'm being a little on the funny side. You know that God is good and the devil try to get in us so bad. If you read my "preaching" last night, it was so funny cause I told the devil to bring it on and he let me know he heard me. My computer just died and then I cut my finger. And I just had to laugh! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Cause he so wants to bring me down. It would give no greater pleasure than to get to me. But trust me you don't want to tell him to "bring it on" either! LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny D

Glad that we all have some humor left. Anyway I'm still hoping and working towards things working out--sctually I think dealing with OW/OC and CS will help because it will lift a weight from H--not that we haven't been carrying around a huge weight ourselves.

I did post update on thread "Albany"

G, Yes we are going to try and do contact. Its just me and the way I am. If I had a brother or sister, I would want to know. And I would never tell my H that he could not see his child. BUT he has made it clear to the OW, that if she didn't want me to be a part of this childs life, then neither would he. It is up to her and what her heart tells her to do. That is our of our hands. And we will not go though all the drama. This is an event in my life and WILL NOT be my life! But everyone is different. My situation is different from yours and yes some days I get over whelmed w/ the "what if's" that I just want to pack my bag get a ticket for away and sell blue drinks on the beach somewhere. But I know that is not Gods plan for me. SO I am here and thank him for today and tomorrow, if it gets tough, he will be there w/ me. But I pray for you. I don't know what it is like being in an abusive relationship and that to me is not what God had planned for you either. Ask him for the strength to do what you need to do. I know the "unknown" is sometimes worst than the "known". You know ok if I do this or say that then he will be nice and happy. No one needs to live like that, no one. I know God wants M to work, but what if this is not the man he intended for you and the antisapation of you seeing that and getting on w/ your life. God doesn't want anyone to be drained of their life, love and soul! <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> He wants you to be happy and wants to help you get there. Just open the door like JT (YOU GO GIRL) and let him give you the strength and guidence you need. (((((((Hugs to YOU)))))))
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny D

Hi Sunny,

With your husband on your side I am sure you will be fine no matter what stunt OW pulls <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Albany,

Go out girl. Don't stay home waiting for him to show up. Beleive me when he sees you going out having fun he will want in. Go out and keep him guessing till he is ready to negotiate with you. Tell him if he wants you to tell him where you are going then he must tell you where he is going. Don't let him have all the cards. You can hold some cards too.

Sunny, you are such an inspriration! Look at you go!! Months ago, I remember writing with you and your emotions were all over. Look at you now? Sound. Strong. In love. Being loved! Your husband sounds like a wonderful man (like mine!) who made a mistake and is taking responsibility for it, but always putting you first, as it should be!! Your marriage will be a long and happy one for sure, oc or not.

Your warm heart and kind soul will be a benefit for that oc to be sure. I remember talking to you and making sure it was what you wanted, and not just to try and please him. I am happy for you. You have found your center and look at you helping others! You being the good BW, is good for people to see. The kind sweet one. I am the mean, grab em by the balls kind of BW on this board!

My mean streak comes from wanting to protect each and everyone of you. Making sure you are all getting out of your marriages and situations what it is that YOU want. Making sure that the foundation is strong for the rebuild of your lives, no matter what happens. Yours foundation is certainly strong!! Love concurs all!

I hope that other women see your strength and can suck it off the screen to fortify themselves for the difficult hours as they work this all out!

Good for you Sunny. Good for your family!

Happy days to you all.

LynnG, thanks for your support! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> You and the others gave me strength and gave me courage and God gave me the peace I needed. I hope a pray each of the women here get to that point. Life is worth living and I am going to LIVE IT! My H is not perfect now, neither am I. We do love each other more and more everyday and I think we will continue to grow together in the way God intended us to be. We still have issues and I'm still learning how to talk about my feelings and fears. We have a long road ahead of us, but having a bond NO ONE will erase, will keep us forever together, even if we don't live together for some reason. Which I don't see happening. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> I love that man w/ all my heart and we are mates not soul mates cause my soul belongs to GOD! We are mates that he has joined together and let no one tear apart. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> I've seen myself change and understanding more and more everyday. yes some are good and some are bad. Some days I would like to run the hell out of here and some days I think why would I ever want to leave. I will LIVE TODAY, I WILL LOVE TODAY, I WILL BE LOVED BY A MAN THAT GOD HAS BLESSED ME WITH AND WE WILL CONTINUE TO LIVE, LOVE , AND LAUGH! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> SUNNY D
Delighted to be loved
Delighted to have friends here
Delighted that God gives me strength
Delighted to say God makes my life what it is and
I am sooo blessed!

Sunny,

Today I want to run--have wanted to run for the last couple of days--I think it is because I have gone so long withour my EN's met--i'm just sorta losing it--can't hold on much longer and giving other there EN and not getting any in return. So I understand the wanna run somedays.

What are you up to this weekend the LOVE SHACK?

Yep, we are off to the "Love Shack" ! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> Leaving shortly after work. The weather has been oh so good. Sleep w/ the windows open and the fan blowing. Yep ! I like it like that! I think the days I want to run its because I know what all of this is going to do to my D. She's adjusting to middle school, her body has gone NUTS! We are getting boobies all over the place! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Of course dad's really hate that too. And then in a month or so we are going to throw "well your not the "only" child at home! OOPPS! W/ the older sis gone she is loving being by herself. But what would it be like if we moved and left and she didn't have her daddy 7 days a week? So I guess I'm better and the problems will just have to come and go. Yep, did that w/o AD'S ! I've desided to do what I say I'm going to do, I will live life, love life and laugh at the bad things coming! God give me the strength! And he has. I still say no matter what happens, I am the better person ! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Just hold on to what you beleive in your heart and tell your head to "Shut UP"! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny D

I thought you weren't getting back on tonight! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Give an update when you can.

Oh well I had a min. H had to go finish up a job. So I am praying and reading my post from earlier, trying to get in the "right " frame of mind. Did you read my Sis by fire post?
Sunny D

P/s headed to the chat room
Sunny

Actually I did--nice to know mine isn't the only one who takes steps forward and then goes backward--sorry.

What a turd! NO LBing!

What you wrote about why we love them--I don't think that I will ever not love H!

I hope our H's all come around--can they not seen what they have--duh so many other women would not even begin to go through what we endured.

I won't be in chat room for another 30min--when I get home--no son to pick up <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

H took him over to his parents-left yesterday and won't be back until tomorrow.

Have you heard from Niosgirl? Genia?