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Joined: Dec 2003
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I just finished reading the previous thread between LynnG and the OW's.
As for the famous quote from Rodney King," Can't we all just get along?". (or something like that)

Now for my 2 cents. I posted what happened to me last Thursday in court. I guess even though this is in the beginning stages, no one wants to say,"GREAT!" "Good for you and your family!"

I had 2 replies. Two!! I am not rubbing anything in anyone else's face. I know exactly how it feels to be in this situation. And we are all different in how we handle things. But when something works out for a BS, shouldn't we all rejoice?

Yet, when I posted on TOW, there were a bunch of wonderful replies. How odd. Maybe some of the BW's need to remember to look at the other side of the fence. Nothing...nothing is ever one sided. I am not defending OW. Espcially my own.
I know I am at the beginning of a new portion of this journey, there is going to be plenty of poop along the road to deal with.

But isn't there something to be learned from each side? Why do we women tear each other apart? We should treat each other as sisters. Not as enemy combatants. Who says men are more competitive? They should come read some of these posts.

Joined: Jan 2004
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Ent - Sorry I missed your post. I have been on vacation and am still catching up. I assume you got some good news, I will try to find you post to catch up. I have seemed to miss out on a lot.

I do want to respond to this post.

I would like nothing better than to get along with OW in my life. I think it would be best for all concerned since my H wants to have C with his child. But to be honest, I don't think she is going to be cooperative. I am already hearing about her terms to everything. That she might as well forget. My H has his rights too and that is what I am concerned with.

I pray I am wrong about OW and she will do what is best for her child.

I do understand that she has also been hurt by this whole situation, and I do feel for her in a way. But that hurt would be the result of her own actions. Where is her sympathy for me? She has caused me so much pain, she has caused my kids so much pain, and with her current actions, she is causing my H pain also. I know the A was the result of 2 consenting adults - 2 willing participates. And they will reap some consequences for their actions.

I am a forgiving person. I have forgiven my H and am trying everyday to work on forgiveness for OW. I admit I am struggling and pray God will give me the strength I need to do it. It is just so hard to forgive when someone hurts you so bad and is not sorry. Even seems to hate or resent me. This I will never understand. I understand her pain, I understand her wanting her child to have a family, I understand all her needs and desires. In her misguided efforts to find happiness, she happened to pick a married man - my H. I understand what she wants, and believe me I pray she finds the happiness she desires, but not with my H, not with my family. As far as I am concerned, she chose a MM, therefore she chose for her child to have a nontraditional family. Her child will be blessed in so many ways if she allows. Her child has a wonderful dad, brother and sister. Her child also has a step mom who will love and care always. In many ways her child is very lucky. She should be thankful.

I am rambling. Just wanted to let you know I realize there are many sides to this story. I am working on restoring my M. That is what is important to me. I will love my H's child - I do love my H's child. I will do my best to work on raising this child with OW. But I will draw the line at the continuing of the pain and hatred. We have all had enough of that for a lifetime. And if that is what OW is going to continue to give, then I will continue to pray for her. But it sure doesn't mean I have to continue to let her hurt me or the people I love any longer. That I am done with. Hope this makes sense.

I wish you continued success in you M and hope things work out for your family.

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"I had 2 replies. Two!! I am not rubbing anything in anyone else's face. I know exactly how it feels to be in this situation. And we are all different in how we handle things. But when something works out for a BS, shouldn't we all rejoice?"

And did you respond back to those posters? Did you thank them for their response? For their encouragement? For taking the time out of their also-busy days to acknowledge your post?

Joined: Oct 2003
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Don't forget that some of your 'replies' on TOW were also from BW's like me.....not just OW.

I didn't reply here becuase I had already replied & congratulated you on TOW.......so I thought it would just be redundant.

I think that it is great that things are working finally in your favor.

I am in a really sad state right now so I really don't have much more to add to this entire board right now so in case you haven't noticed........I haven't even really been around much @ all this week.

But I am happy for YOU.

Joined: Jun 2004
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Oh Ent! I'm so sorry! I read your post and was REALLY happy for you, but was booted off, then had to actually work (the NERVE of my boss)....I'm so sorry I didn't get to post.

Of course I'm happy for you.......I am so glad you are working through this. Sending lots of love to your family!

- Kimmy

Joined: May 2004
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hi Entwife,

I am glad I was one of the two who responded. I am sure more will respond. Niosgirl is correct. I get booted off every afternoon. Hope more people respond to you. And yes I would like to get along with my OW. In the beginning we hugged and I said I did not want to share my husband. If he wanted her she could have him. She stabbed me in the back by telling him everything I said. Then when he picked me she got angry and hates me. What did I do? It's not my fault he chose me his wife to live with.

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I think that I missed your post altogether--sometimes there are too many to keep track of and this isn't the first time I have missed some.

As you know i'm very happy for you and we have chatted about it some via IM.

SO big hugs--things are sounding good for you.

Joined: Feb 2004
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Hi ent,

I thought I did respond tp your post I guess my computer booted me off. But I know what it is like to not get a response; I also have come to learn that there are so many things and people to keep up with it is hard to keep track of who you haven't talked to. So again not to make you feel as though no one was listening and rejoicing for you.

We are all in the same boat here so we of course love to hear good news. Don't take everything to heart. We love you over hear and will try to be you support system whenever possible. If we forget hey just pleasantly remind us to get with it! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

So How's everything now? I have yet to visit the OW board but I do agree that they are sometimes in the same boat as we are. They have to been lied to by our H and are unfortunately connected to them in some of the same ways. so sometimes I do consider that fact and then I think well a real woman would back off if she found out a man she was with was M to another. That's the womanly thing to do.

But that is not happening now is it - REALISTICALLY!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

JT

Joined: Mar 2004
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I haven't been around much lately cause I am always at work.. but today the boss is out of town so I am all over the place!

I did read your post and I just remember thinking what a gal you were.. what a warm and open heart you have.

I am 100% for contact if the situation and all the hearts and adults involved allows for it... and I am 100% against contact in the same breath, if it is too painful or disruptive or complicated.

I hope things continue to go well, and in fact get better and better for all of you!

Is it just me or does it seem like almost everyone here had a girl as OC?

Joined: May 2004
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Hi,

That is strange. My husband is expecting a girl as his OC. He has always wanted a girl. He wanted me to have his baby. As you see my age in signature, I was worried about haveing a baby because of downs syndrone and also because it might ruin my figure.

Joined: Dec 2003
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This is my theory on the girl (OC) situation...

A man who has only girls is a man who must pay for his "sins" by reliving them through his daughter.

What do you think?

Joined: Dec 2003
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Thanks for your congrats!! Espcially you KT. I really feel for you.
ent

Joined: Mar 2004
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Oh Boy... I swear its true! I have 2 very good friends who are BOTH one of 6 girls.. both families of girls are unbelievable beauties! And both of the fathers are these slimey womanizing Italians (I am too so no one take that wrong..) who all have extra kids here and there, etc... they definitely GOT IT BACK to them with these girls.. both families!!

My H has 3 daughters now too....... hmmmm.....


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