Hello everyone

Longtime no talk to. Things had been going o.k with me but lately I feel like I have had a relapse now all teh time i feeel depressed again and upset. I try not to think about OC and OW but i cant help it. Alot has happen since I have last posted.

OW talked about leaving this month with OC i guess for good. I still am hoping she does, i think that would make my life so much better. Oh, yeah my H had decded he wanted family to be contact between the 2 of them I jsut found out that H family has been seeing OC and I sSTILL HAVE NOT SEEN OC AT ALL. My feelings were so hurt about this. I still feel like people are doing so many things behind y back and maybe thats why I feel the way I do.

Heres, another one OW says H cant bring OC around me until she is old enough to talk (i think OW thinks I am truly going to do something to hurt OC) that is her conciuos talking to her about the way things happened.

I am jsut sooo soo tired of all this petty stuff. I feel soo run down. It seems like every time I think I am making proggress I have 2 steps backwards. I had a talk with H about meeting OW and OC and trutfully I am scared to meet OW. H asked me did I think he was going to leave me and truthfully I am just not sure. I dont think so. He said if was going to leave he would have been gone, but that does not make me feel any better.

I am sorry to ramble and to not give to much details just trying to get some stuff off my chest.

Thanks for listening

Lonely, I'm so sorry for your pain. So has your H seen the OC? And have you and the OW gotten into it to make her think you may hurt her child? Mothers will be mothers but Ow will also think of things THEY would do if their H had an OC! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> So think about the past and see if you might? How are you and H doing? And as far as his family, you are not M to them. God didn't say leave your family for his, you did it so you could make a life w/ H and him only. Have you gotten an attorney? GET ONE. Check w/ your state, try and find all the info you can. Sorry if you haven't given her any reason to keep this child away from you , well it's her tough [censored] for sleeping w/ your H! He has a right to the child if you want C. BUT, you can't let your brain or mouth take over when you are angry. (The best info my attorney ever gave me! ) It can dig you a hole you will never get out of. Just keep praying that God does his will where she is concerned! And he will. And if you want contact, then get an attorney and get over her! She wants you to be afraid.And why should you be? Pray for the control you need when it does come about. Tell H you need to do things legally and write down all things that you can think of that "might" one day happen. I am sorry for your pain and keep us updated!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny D

I have never even talked to OW. Wiat once and all i said was HELLO!

SHe jsut has a guilty consious or thats what I think. Thanks for your support. We are in contact with a attorney now.

The ow is a gnat. The problem is your husband, and the marriage. He is doing things without your agreement and allowing things to happen without your best interests. If YOU want to be part of that childs life, then do so.

Does he talk to you? Does he see this child and not you? THAT STOPS TODAY. Either you are a couple or you are not. If he is playing games, this is a sampling of what your in for for the rest of your life. Get firm, be real. What do YOU want?

Please don't let that ow control your life anymore, for that matter, don't allow your husband to toy with you either. Talk about this then make decisions and hold him accontable.

A few more thoughts. Has your husband been tested and that baby is his? Then get LEGAL visitation set up and she can't do squat. Hold her feet to the flames if she is playing games. SHE is insecure and trying to control the situation and SHE LEGALLY CAN'T. Just as your husband cant say which Tom-[censored]-Harry is in her bed, around that child, she can't say you can't be around it. Lord the gall of these stupid women. Quite giving her the power, take it back.

Does his family know that you have not seen the child? I would be pissed if they did. I think your husband needs to step up to the plate here. If not, what are you married for?

You need to get off the victim couch, pull up your bootstraps and get going. If your husband is allowing all of this to happen, he is the problem. Why stay married to a man who has a life that you are excluded from? What is the point? Stand up. Square your shoulders and be proud of who you are. You are not some simpering game playing moron like the ow. You are a moral and decent human being. Demand to be treated that way. You deserve no less. The one to be treated poorly is the ow. She is NOT part of your marriage and therefore should not be allowed to have any input on what goes on in YOUR home. If you have things done legally, you can go and pickup the oc and have him at your home and she can't do a damm thing.

Lonely,

Have you and your husband read the information on this site? What should be driving your decisions is a combination of complete honesty (Radical Honesty in Harley-speak), and the Policy of Joint Agreement: never do anything without an enthusiastic agreement betweeen spouses. If the two of you can practice this, along with safe negotiation techniques---you'll be able to face anything (including the OW) together. This process is meant to build your love together, whether you're going through good times or bad. If you don't understand how to apply these principles---get in counseling with someone who does (either the Harley's via phone counseling---888-639-1639 for appointments; or Penny at SYMC.

And get the lawyer. If your husband is this child's father, and he is paying child support---you absolutely have a right to be around the child (unless you've been proved a "danger"). As far as his family is concerned---he's got to deal with that in a way that you both feel enthusiastic about.

THnak you guys soo much.

Yes, his family knows taht I have not seen the OC and they have seen OC because OW brings OC to them and they will not tell me when they have her. She still says she is leaving this month. I pray to god she does. Yes, H has been tested and it is HIS, we are gettign a lwyer right now. We are finding out how the papers will stand taht she made him sign to have his parental rights away. Yes, he signed a ppaper like that. Everything is just soo f'd up right now and it just seem soo hard to get it straight.

Well lon315 if the paper was just signed and not done legally it don't mean squat! God will do his will just let him and his family is allowing this woman to seperate you as part of this childs family and I'm not so sure I wouldn't tell them. If your family they should support you and not her. I'm sorry for your pain and all the crap this woman has put you though, but you will get around it and continue to be a team w/ husband! Good luck. Keep updating. We are here for you!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny D

Thank you.

SUnny its like they are with her they have a lot of contact with her she emails SIL. That is just too much damn contact. My H says we should not care what his family does, it shoudl not affect us, but in the end it does. SOmetimes Ijust feel so heartbroken.

Oh don't feel bad my SIL and STOW talk! But whatever. SIL saids look at how she must feel Bull crap. She knew we where working on things and she did what she did so I would kick him out and he'd have no place to go but her place. Cause my state & cs is way on up there! Southern judges don't play! Good for me bad for him. ! But I just look at sil and give her some stories (sex and the good stuff) to tell STOW. WHATEVER ! Live love and laugh at all of them!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny D

Hi Lonely,

Sorry for your pain. I hope your husband keeps standing beside you. Lynne has given you very good advise. I feel your pain. I hope husband and you work things out together. You should be able to go with husband to pick up baby for visitation in your own home.

Oh Lonely ((((hug)))))

Boy we know how hard this is.. its always the same crap (mostly) w/OW OC ...

I cannot write now.. but just smile in your head and remember our Lord LynnG's words.....

OW is a GNAT.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Keep posting, there is so much strength here.

The very short of it right now is YOU MUST Get YOU and do for YOU and everything will follow.
hugs again,

Giavonna

Thank yoyu guys!!! I am ttrying to do me.