sorry to have to offer you a welcome to this site. and i just wanted to let you know that you are NOT alone in this. there are quite a few of us that have survived this nightmare you are living. and you can also if YOU choose to.

a couple of questions that may
help you along.

1 - do you love your w? not feel obligated to stay with her, not just feel comfortable with her BUT truly love her?

2 - do you beleave with all your heart that her affair is over and that she loves you? not that she is staying out of fear of not being able to make it alone or that you are the lesser of 2 evils right now BUT truly loves you?

3 - are you the type of person that has true forgiveness in you or do you tend to hold onto grudges to long?

4 - are you and your w willing to do whatever it takes to repair your marriage? no matter how far out of your comfort zone that may take you?

5 - will you be able to look at this innocent child and not see the om should it turn out you are not the bio dad?

depending on your answers especially to 1,3 & 5 will depend on whether you can get thru this. when i found out about my w's A and resulting preg i confided in a good friend who is an ER DR in a pretty bad part of town. he has seen the crap of life roll down the hall before him and he told me that those three questions were all that mattered if i were to try and repair my marriage.

i am not saying that just because you answer in a positive way to those questions that the road will be smooth. far from it. there will be some pot holes the size of the grand canyon BUT you can jump over them with some effort if you have the mind set to move forward and not dwell in the past.

good luck and although i don't post much anymore i read often and will look for a follow up on your situation. pops

Just bumping this up for Swimming!