I have yet to meet oc in my life but I feel that we share such a hard and sacred bond. I feel like we were both thrown into a situation that we had no choice to be in. I want to love this child. It is hard until i can actulally meet her; but I just feel so sorry for her. I feel like me & her share a bond that not even her and her mother can share. I am crazy for thinking like that. I am crazy for thinking that one day maybe me and OC will have a great bond/relationship due to our connection. IS taht crazy talk. I just want to meet OC so badly sometimes. I jsut want to get a chance to lover her too.

Hi,

That is so sweet. I wish everything was simpler and OW did not try and keep us out of OC life. BW and OC are innocent in all this and we are the ones who pay the consequences. I would like to meet my OC. I am sure she will be beautiful when she is born. I think me and husband will break up because OW wants to be selfish and keep me away from OC. She wants husband to play happy family with her. Guess she will get her wish and I will always wonder how it could have been if I were given the chance.

Genia,


Oh hnoey dont give her her way. Do you want your marriage to work? I know I do!!!!

OW told H that I AM NOT ALLOWED to be by the baby until she is old enough to talk. I hate that. I feel like she is playing us both. OW need to understand and see that you are happy and trying to make your marriage work.

MY oc is 8 months old TODAY. I have seen picutres she really is a beautiful little girl. I just feel so bad for her. **** I feel bad for myself. I just want & pray that everything owrks out. My prayers are with you.

Hi Lonely,

I so feel for you. Your OW is playing games. There is no reason you should have to wait that long. I have reached the end of my rope because my husband is going along with OW's games and acts like she is sane and I am insecure for being worried. That he is a man and can handle it. They want to leave me out and I will not have him meeting up with her to visit OC and I being left at home. Anyhow, I called legal aide. I got the number from the court. They have free workshops in my county to help MM get visitation with his OC. I do not know what resources your county has but you can check. Also what about paying a monthly fee for legal aide. Then you can get a lawyer. So your man does not have to bow to OW's games. My man refuses to get help he can get so I just have to get out of relationship because he is standing with her in her games instead of with me. If he could just see what she is doing then he would not like it. He does not like to be controlled. OW is calling the shots. Like one lady put it. OW can have any tom, [censored], or harry around her baby, but MM cannot have his wife around the baby.

Dear L315~

For what it's worth, I don't think it's crazy talk at all. You sound as if you're speaking from your heart.

My H has spoken about the kinship he feels with my probable OC. He doesn't like to talk on it much, but when he does, he really opens up and talks about the fact, he views baby and himself as being on the "same team", as in, both equally innocent, etc. I can't really explain it well, but there is a very evident bond that in some ways seems closer than that of the one he has w/ our children. I'm sure it's not really closer...maybe different, but in a very special way? See, very hard for me to explain. It's also obvious to me, the two of them share "something", that not even I share w/ baby. Odd hey?

Take very good care of yourself. I hope things get squared away very soon. Your OC will be one blessed child to have you in her life.

My best to you,

~ad

<small>[ August 19, 2004, 11:07 AM: Message edited by: autumnday ]</small>

Genia,

Yes OW is playing games bigtime, and your husband is playing right along with her...why is he granting OW her wishes, when she is part of the reason for this mess to begin with??? Men can be so ridiculous sometimes, and driven by all the wrong things. He has the nerve to allow OW to tell him not to bring his BW around "his" OC? OW is controlling him...who does she think she is? She has other agendas...this is not about the child. Tell your H to wake up. The best advice I can give you is to pray every night this prayer...ask God to open your H's eyes to see what OW is trying to do, and believe me he will see it.

Ladies, Keep your head up, so you can see where you are going!

Genia

You are soo rihgt. Well I guess OW consious has gotten to her becuase I think she thinks I would actually do something to harm this babu. she keeps saying she is leaving with the baby. I hope she does. We will see though, i think she is playing games again.

I am soo sorry for your situation. I wish there was something I could do to help you. I am here anytime you need to talk.

Unfortuantely, I am no in the process of trying to make my H see that we (meaning me and our C come first) we need to be shown love. I NEED TO BE SHOWN LOVE. Its hard when your heart hurts. But all I can do is pray.

Hi Lonely,

You have to stand up for you. I had to stand up for me because I love me. Maybe you need counseling. You need to be a part of OC's life, and you do not need to wait till baby can talk. You need to bond now so you and husband can look into the eyes and bond with the baby. You are a beautiful person. You seem to have no hatred. Please take care of you. Tell your husband your needs. I talked to my husband and he got angry and started to get violent. So I am leaving him. You owe this to yourself to express your concerns to your husband. If your husband cannot fight for you and his rights. Plan A is not about being a doormat. It is about being a welcome mat. You can confront in plan A as well as make agreements together.

Thank you guys soo much for all your advice. I am going to TRY to talk to my H tonight and let him know all my feelings. I dont thnk I have done that since DDay!

you guys are the best' I'll let you guys know tomorrow how the talk goes.

Did you talk to your husband yet concerning your feeling? Read under questions II about Plan A, Doormat. It will shed light on Plan A

Where is at I cant find it.


wa\hat does it say?

Am i being a doormat, and if so how can i change?

Hi,

I was not saying That. Look under General Questions II. Thread is called Plan A, Doormat, Lovebusters. It just has some good information. thread is written by Zorweb. I need the information too. Good to print out so we don't become a doormat. Take care of yourself.

<small>[ August 20, 2004, 04:38 PM: Message edited by: Genia ]</small>

Lonely,

I don't think you are crazy at all, you sound like a woman with a big heart, maybe too big, like me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Keep praying for H to see the light & soon. OW needs to know she is not running things.

Big hug to you sweetie!