Well - hubby has decided that he can't take my pain, depression, frustration, ect. He has a chance for a "fresh start without problems" to be with the OW/OC. They are currently in a different state but he's getting out of the military and plans to move there. To my knowledge he cut contact off with her and I took his cell phone away. If he has been communicating with her it's been from work during work hours. (however, because the military frowns on affairs and he's already being investigated, I don't think he do this).

Once again I feel like all the blame is on me. On one side I feel, she can have his lying,cheating [censored] and he can treat her like crap and cheat on her. On the other hand, I look at our son and cling to hope that he will change his mind, be strong, have some sense of remorse and work this out.

Don't think this will happen though as his bags are already packed and he's asking when he can send me and our son away. He's even come up with child support and alimony so the divorce can go more quickly... GEEZ! Just kick me while I'm down!!

I feel worse than I was before..sometimes I feel like this pain, torture - it's all never ending!

K,

Stop feeling like this is your fault...IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Your H is a big COWARD(sorry)...he is just running from all of his problems...he is not being a man about the situation...let him run...they will eventually catch up to him again. You need to kill that guilt trip u r on...you hold your head up high, because u did not do anything wrong. U have nothing to be ashamed about.

LET GOD DO HIS WORK. HE WILL BRING YOU THRU THIS.

K I am so sorry for your pain. I wish there was somethign I could do. If you need to talk, cry scream, I am here to listen to you.

K you are not to blame. Your husband has been fooled by the evil one, as have so many others. Just get yourself close to the Lord and pray and listen and learn.

Tim

Yes, he is selfish and a coward... but I love him regardless. I'm trying to step back and consume everything that I found out in the past few weeks - 5 affairs, 4 different woman, a baby, strip clubs, lap dances, drinking... on and on...

If I remind myself of what he's done, I know I need to move on. But you'd think it would be easier for me. Somehow I feel like he's broken, and I need to help fix him. However reality tells me that he can't be fixed unless he wants to and "we can't change what we don't acknowledge" - in the words of Dr. Phil.

Prayer doesn't seem enough for me anymore. I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel for me.
I hate want he's done, and I want him to FEEL my pain right now!

K,

It is not your fault. Don't place the blame on yourself. He has done this to his family. I am sorry that I can not really help you much I am in the same situation. I found my H at OW house this morning after he has been lying for - ever now. I have started D proceeding and have now locked him out of the house. So my real dilemma is only just beginning.

But hang in there. Just Pray!!

JT

K Davis,

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be with your H....sorry for calling him a coward....everyone makes mistakes, and we can not judge one another, that is God's job. Don't stop praying now. I know u r overwhelmed with all of this...but just when u thought u have all the problems in the world...the ball continues, look at what JT2 said...she caught her H at OW's house this morning....ladies it is time to just be still, don't do nothing, and listen to what God tells you to do...just stop, take a deep breath, and take some time for u. Calm down. I don't know what else to say.

Hi K

I sometimes lurk here and I'm so sorry to read about your situation.

One thing I can tell you, your H's actions are NOT your fault, no you are not to blame.

I usually don't go in for little words of wisdom, but I carry these around with me and wanted to share them with you. I hope it will make you feel alittle better.

1. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.


2. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.


3. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.


4. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

5. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

6. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.


7. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.

Good luck.

I am so sorry for your pain.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> He has a chance for a "fresh start without problems" to be with the OW/OC </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">All this means is he has a chance to run away from his mess he created with you and start creating a new one with someone else. There is no fresh start here, because the stinch of the affair is surrounding him and always will. You are getting the better end of the deal, although I know it doesn't feel that way.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Don't think this will happen though as his bags are already packed and he's asking when he can send me and our son away. He's even come up with child support and alimony so the divorce can go more quickly... GEEZ! Just kick me while I'm down!! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">He is just trying to quiet his own guilt by using money. He can't spend enough to clear his conscious although he may try to. Just take the money without feeling to bad. This whole thing has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him.

Again I am so sorry for you pain.

I know that what I'm going to say may not help you feel better, but God always restores what is lost.

That was the only thing that kept me from losing my sanity when I wasn't sure if my husband was leaving or staying. I figured that I'd be ok with or without him, and oddly enough, I wasn't even worried.

I'm sorry that this was all I could come up in the way of giving you a hug, per se. I pray that the hurt goes away soon.

He can't take the guilt! Maybe God is working on him! Let him get his crap together. You and your children should be your main concern. Youv'e done everything you can so its up to H and god to make the changes he needs to make. Give it to god to take care of and keep praying. He works on his time not ours! And isitme has some really good points. I hate the pain you are going though, but that is it, going though, not going to have it forever. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> But you have to keep praying for yourself to heal also. ((((((Hugs to you))))))
keep us updated.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny D