</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> , as I am sure a certain very bitter TOW poster will point out, I emailed him, knowing my addy was blocked </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Not bitter at all, just if you want sympothy, try giving all the facts first. You should realize that some read alot of different boards and know what is posted. So when you say different things on different boards and they don't match up then you know caca is being thrown around

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> as I am sure a certain very bitter TOW poster will point out, I emailed him, knowing my addy was blocked
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Not bitter at all, just if you want sympothy, try giving all the facts first. You should realize that some read alot of different boards and know what is posted. So when you say different things on different boards and they don't match up then you know caca is being thrown around
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Go-LE! Geez ladies...couldja take it to those boards, please? Both comments were HIGHLY unnecessary!

- Kimmy

AMEN. Kimmy! If your not here to support a M and a relationship between a wife and husband their family. GO HOME! I feel sorry for the girls/guys that just found this site! This is not what MB is about and not what we would like you to think of most of us. We are here to support and help.
Sunny D

Kimmy and Sunny

I am working on my marriage. I'm sorry for my response to Twilight, I just get sick when you see someone wanting sympthy and not giving all the facts.

Genia,
I'm in a very similar situation at the moment so I can really relate. My h has contact with his daughter with the xow, and actually shares a business with her. I have no contact with their child as of yet and she is 7 months old now. I have gotten to hold her a couple of times but that was months ago and was not "cleared" with the xow. This situation is so extremely difficult to live through with all the emotions involved. Even though my h wants everything to work out with our marriage, I feel invisible in a way. Actually a big way.

It kills me that he is not being forceful with the xow right now in at least allowing an hour here and there for visitation over here. But he said (which I understand) that these past 2 + years have been none stop drama for everyone including him, and he would like a couple of months to breath before he tackles the real big important "new" issues. I get it I understand, but I'm tired of understanding everything all the time.

It's extremely weird that we've been together so long and we've shared everything up to this point (well pretty much) with each other, and I don't even know his daughter! It boggles my mind I usually can't allow myself to think about it to much, and time will tell how this all plays out.

I'm like you in the sense that if this continues as a "new way of life" with seemingly two separate households and lives, while wanting to grow closer and stay in our marriage, well if it stays like this for too long, I won't be able to stay married to him. Actually it would be a betrayal of our friendship as well, above all else we have been best friends for half of our lives. I feel cut really deep that at this very moment she is not part of our lives.

I think all we can do is, try to be as normal in our minds as possible. Allow ourselves private time to cry, or pray. And give our h's some breathing room. They are dealing with a lot! I really believe my h when he says we're on the same page with what we want. But I don't think he has the strength in him right now to make it that way....

ANM2

<small>[ August 27, 2004, 01:26 PM: Message edited by: anewme2 ]</small>

Hi Anewme2,

I feel for you. I can feel your pain and hurt. If other child were not involved there should be no contact between your husband and XOW. The affair was a mistake, a betrayal of your love. He should do everything possible to separate child from OW concerning visitation. You need to express your feelings towards him concerning your relationship and make him understand that he is compromising your personal boundaries. He should disolve business relations with this woman and cut his losses. What is more important the business or his long standing relationship and friendship with you. He can start a new business with a new partner. Second he needs to go to court and establish legal visitation in your home. Your husband is still in the fog and he is not takeing you seriously.

<small>[ August 27, 2004, 09:51 AM: Message edited by: Genia ]</small>