Well, we don’t have to post in Pregnancy/Child anymore. We’ve moved solidly into the Recovery category.

Robel miscarried today. I’m not sure I want to celebrate. I feel guilty at the relief I feel. Not Robel though. She’s extremely relieved! No 9 months of hell for her! She can concentrate on school (and her family).

I can’t help thinking of OM left dangling. He will likely never know the outcome of his actions. Hopefully it will make him think twice before he beds down the next girl. (who am I kiddin’?)

This is also why we didn’t tell many people. There’s fewer to un-tell about PG.

Just kidding about not posting here anymore…

I really don't know what to say, but here are prayers that things get better between you two.


Good luck

Hi,

Maybe it was not meant to be. I hope the two of you can now focus on repairing your relationship.

Painter and Robel,

I know there is a sense of relief, but I still want to offer my condonlences! I know you said you were just kidding about not posting on this part of the forums, but you can still offer help and advice to any of the new posters in your position. It's different NOW, but I can remember in the first couple months hoping, praying and wishing for the same outcome! I still love Abbi with all my heart, but at the very beginning, it was quite different. The Lord has a different purpose for you guys, and the P could have just been that 2x4 that Robel needed to wake up and see what she was doing to you, the kids and herself! Keep up with the principles here, they really do work, especially since you are both so willing to fix the damage and rebuild a firmer foundation for your M!

Please, keep us updated and give Robel an extra hug from me!

Tigger

First of all, I am so sorry for what you and your W are going through. The emotions you are feeling are perfectly normal. The relief is a normal reaction, as is the guilt at feeling the relief. The Lord is very understanding in what a person can endure and He was aware of the situation. He, in His infinite wisdom, took care of the situation, so to speak. You or your W did nothing to cause the miscarriage. Your feelings of hope for this to happen initially were not what caused the miscarriage, this is God's plan, not your plan. Now is time for the healing to set in and you can focus on the marriage without enduring the pregnancy issues that may have arisen. God Bless You and your wife. Cling to His love and to each other in this healing process.

Prayers to you both, God never makes a mistake. Hopefully you can concentrate on your M now.

Dear Painter & Robel,

I too understand the relief, the guilt over the relief, etc., etc...

Like Tigger, I also wished for a miscarriage in the beginning. However, I know that no amount of wishing is going to change God's mind, when He has a plan in store for our lives. If God's plan was for Robel's P to continue, it would have.

Praying for great things in your M!

Take good care of one another.

~ad

I just wanted to thank all of you for your concern and for the "eyes". I do feel a little like I have a second chance to do things right. I was trying to do that anyway, but was really scared of the future, but I'm sure many of you can relate. I am extremely fortunate that Painter was willing to stick through this with me. The pain of this situation will be my reminder of why we need to follow God's laws. If we don't, untold pain results to those we love.

I will still post on here as I have much to learn and besides, I like you guys!

So sorry for your loss. Hope your marriage continues doing well

Thanx to all for the thoughts and prayers. I may lurk for a while...

I'm not sure what to think...

<small>[ August 24, 2004, 07:40 PM: Message edited by: Painter ]</small>

Robel -

I am so sorry for your loss. I never post here, mostly post on general questions. However I did have a miscarriage, and it was awful for me.

Although I was only 16 weeks pregnant, I already had a mother/child relationship with my baby. I had hopes, dreams, and plans. So please take care of yourself. I know it must be very, very hard for you right now. You are in my prayers.

Rob spent several hours in the ER last night. She referred to it as a "Vag Bleed". I refer to it as scary. She hadn't been seen for a D&C yet, so when she called from the grocery store and said she had soaked through her pants (and socks) I told her to get to the ER. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Too many details? Sorry.

Anyway, she's fine. The ultrasound revealed nothing left behind but some fluid.

I had some time to sit here at home to worry and get mad all at the same time. The boys were already settled into bed so I sent my SIL to be with Rob (and take her new undies). OM doesn’t know what’s happening or even care. He got his jollies and I have to clean up the mess (literally). <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

I have been off and on depressed for a couple of weeks and Rob struggles to keep me happy between her own struggles. I may not express myself very well in writing, but I posted here and there looking for sympathy or encouragement. I guess my story isn’t very “sexy” or I don’t give good thread. I watched as my threads moved down the screen further and further unanswered. (except here). As I felt sorry for myself and unliked or ignored, it occurred to me that I should not ignore anyone who has replied to my thread. And I should check my attitude or expectations of what happens here.

Crazymum, Genia, tigger, StillStrong, BabyGirl, autumnday, Angels, and believer, Thank-You much for taking time to reply. It means a lot to me, and I even reread this thread sometimes. (not many guys in that list is there? Hhmmm…)

Painter,

I'm sorry for your frustration and anger at the situation! I would still recommend checking into some counseling, if not with the Harley's definitely with someone who is pro-marriage! If they are familure with the MB consepts, so much the better! You need to get some guidance for how YOU are feeling about everything that has happened, and you both need to be helped for your M, and Rob needs to have someone who can help her through this trying time after the miscarriage. Luckily for me, I've never had to go through a miscarriage, but I have given a child up for adoption, so in a way, have lost a child at birth. I have gone through many of the same feelings(not all, but many) but if you don't deal with them, and keep them hidden, it just makes this huge hole that you end up sinking deeper and deeper into.

Does your church offer help in that manner? You both need to check into something to be able to get these feelings off your chest.

Now, with that said about the counseling, what else from this site have you worked on implimenting in your M and lives? How much have to read up on, and tried to work with?

I'm glad that you did post here, because even thought Rob had the miscarriage, you are both still dealing with the issues of the A and the P that resulted from that A. We are all here for you, and please don't feel as if you don't belong! You guys had much more added to the issues of an A, as we all have, that many times, those on the other boards have a hard time with how to help with those issues.

Please tell Rob that I will continue to pray for her, especially with this ER visit! I am glad that she is ok, and let her know that I do think of you guys each day! In fact, I always look to see if either of you have posted, especially to your own threads! You are not forgotten here!

Hugs and prayers to the Robel/Painter family!

Tigger

Robel and Painter,

I just wanted to let you know that you are still in my thoughts and prayers! Please update when you get the chance. Hopefully, things are a little better for you than they were the other day, Painter. Let us know if there is anything we can help with.

Hugs and Prayers,

Tigger

Tigger,

Thanx for the reply. I'm hanging in. I have a hard time when I'm home alone. I've become awfully attached to my robel lately. I don't want to waste any of every moment we have together... er something like that.

Neither of us really wants to see a counselor. We are closer than ever and talk through all the stuff that is happening to us. There is maybe only one thing we disagree on, but I can let her have her way with it. I have one good friend that has little to do with Rob and me as a couple. He has been a good sounding board for me. She hasn’t told anyone but me (and y’all here) about her little fling.

We aren’t comfortable with anyone at church. (then why go?... I dunnow yet) It’s a big impersonal place but my family is well known there, so Rob won’t hear of our secret being outed there.

We did the emotional needs worksheets years ago in a Sunday school class for married couples. Rob’s didn't change much, but mine is different. I also reread parts of a love languages book. Rob has been clear through our little library and read some Dr. Dobson, and Laura Schlessinger books.

I have a name and number of a lady who comes highly recommended by another friend of mine. Money is tight, so we’ll see.

Thanx for checkin’ in tig! Makes me feel special! I’ll tell Rob you said hi…

Dear Painter,
I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that Rob is doing as well as can be and is healthy as can be. I can't imagine the pain the two of you must feel. I wish I could do more to help.

I apologize for not posting to you sooner but I have been in my own little hell. I hope you continue to post here and we will all be here to help.

LUV,

If you could see my 4 DSs pounding through our little living room and yelling "hes touching me...Quit touching me...MOM Thers a poopy diaper in the fridge!...Oh yah? My pokemon just tore your pokemons head off...MOOoooommm!" You'd understand why we may be a little relieved.

We did not cause the m-c and it has been a huge relief to Rob. I feel guilty about my relief, I still think it was OMs. Its a stress we don't have to go through.

We still appriciate your taking time to hammer out a little note to us.

Thanx!

Painter,

Don't feel guilty about your relief, I think it's totally understandable. It's also understandable that you would feel guilty for feeling that way. No you did not cause it, I would never think that. These things happen and maybe it was God's way of bringing the two of you together. Things happen for a reason. My thoughts and prayers are will you none the less.

I had to laugh at your scenario of the house. I only have two but it sounds much like your home. Someone always picking on another, touching, taking toys, you name it. I can be so hectic.

Umm...

as far as any of you remember... How long after a miscarriage can a couple resume... umm... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> err, SF?

I understand that I won't take any replies as sound medical advice. Just wondering and... umm... well...

OK I awfully dang RANDY! there I said it!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />
Well, I don't know for sure, but isn't it at least a 3 week wait? I know that after a birth it's 6 weeks, but I have no idea about after a miscarriage. Other than your randiness, how are the two of you holding up? Sorry I haven't asked about you lately, been hectic around here and haven't been much on the boards. If all else fails, just ask the doctor, or even go online and look it up.

Good luck!!!!

Tigger