I have been reading everyone's posts. I admire everyone's courage in dealing with the situations our wayward spouses have created. I found out about my husband's affair on Friday the 13th because the OW had called to tell him she was pregnant. Obviously, I wish I never had to hear from her again, but that doesn't look like it is the case.

My husband has broken off his physical/emotional relationship with her, but still would like to be a part of the child's life. The wrinkle is that the OW lives in Venezuela. I am lost right now and don't know how to proceed. I am in favor of my husband having a relationship with the child, but don't know how that would work in a practical sense. I don't believe that international law would force her to give us visitation rights; besides, I don't know what that would really mean since she lives so far away. Has anyone out there been in a similar situation? I could really use some good support and advice.

Hi Mariposa,

Sorry to have to welcome to our site. Your situation is kinda unique. I do not have any advise but want to express that I know you are hurting and this is a very painful situation. Please feel free to vent or ask questions and we will try and help.

Thanks Genia. I'm just trying to hang in there in couples therapy at the moment. Pretty sure all the gotchas are out of the way. I already know that he paid for her university education during the past year, paid rent on her apartment, bought her gifts etc. My WH has individual therapy tomorrow. I am hopeful he is on the right track, but wish I could be sure.

As for me, I'm taking it one day at a time. Some days I feel positive and optimistic; others I am down and feel that things can't possibly work out. I am depending on my deep Christian faith to get me through this. Without that and my daughter, I don't think I could get up in the morning and teach school all day.

Just knowing you are out there and that I'm not alone helps. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

My dear, I offer you my support. Unfortunetly I do not have much advice to give, given your situation.

I am not sure what you can or can't do. First, I would say you need to make sure the child is his. The outcome of that may prove to make the rest a moot point.

My best advice is talk to your H and see what he means by being a part of the child's life. Does he want to pay support, see OC once/twice a year, where would that take place. would you be present, etc.?

Once you have those answers see an atty. for the best way to move forward with your particular situation. We here can offer support but I don't think any of us are equipped to offer advice in this particular situation. Unless one of us is an attorney.

I can tell you this, my medical doctor share with me that her H got another women in another country pg. He did visit chld before she knew about it but once she found out she said that she will not stand for him going there to visit without her. He could visit the chld but she would have to go with him or he could not see the child. He chose not to see the child. I am not sure if it's because OW had issues with W or if he just made that decision.

Mariposa,

I agree with Luv.

Mariposa,

Hello Butterfly....sorry to meet under such grim circumstances, anyway, welcome.

This situation that you decribed is something that happens over in Central America everyday. The countries are poor, so the young girls latch on to the Americans or the so-called..."Have More's" , seduce them, get pregnant within most likely less than 3 months, and then demand child support or marriage. I know that the women and children have strong rights when it comes to child support and taking care of the kids in these countries...the law will lock u up in the name of the kids in alot of the Spanish foreign countries...but the advantage is is that u all don't live in Venezuela, so there will be none of that, but if your H goes over there, he needs to understand that he does not have the upper hand. He should establish paternity first, and then if it turns out to be his, just sent money every month, and keep record. As far as the visiting goes, that is totally up to u all to decide...they may welcome your H with open arms, but not u ( her family of course), and always remember that u would be in a foreign country...I wouldn't advice it, unless u knew for sure that things would go smoothly.

Hope this helps.