Well for those of you who post on SBF you know H has been lying to me still & I caught him last week.

Well they say God works in mysterious ways & he really does, I prayed for guidance & for an answer as to what HE wanted me to do about H on Monday morning. Yesterday my sister was taking me to pick up my car, we are on the thruway & I look over to my left & see H's car, I didn't say anything to my sister, but she just happened to speed up & I got to look in the car & lo & behold H is driving & OW is in the passenger seat! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> Mind you H is supposed to be at work (7:50 p.m.) I didn't dare tell my sister cuz I didn't want her to see H w/ OW & have my family invovled.

I waited & called him once I was alone, of course he didn't answer, left him a VERY nasty message.
Then called my best friend & we rode over to where H told me OW stayed, a lie of course - she didn't live at the address he told me about.

Well thank GOD he wasn't there, it was a really bad idea since I don't know what I planned to do if H had been there, but there may have been trouble if he was. H finally returned my call almost 2 hrs. later, told me it wasn't him that I saw! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> By the time he got home I had calmed down a bit & I told him AGAIN that I wanted him to leave, he said he would soon, - not helping me. He continuted to lie to me saying I didn't see him w/ OW in his car, I am not crazy, I know his plate #, I know what he looks like after 11 yrs. & I have seen OW 2 other times & know what she looks like too. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> We had a big blow out I told him I hated OW & him, he actually had the nerve to have tears in his eyes, of course still blaming me for EVERYTHING.

I called my lawyer this morning, now I find out I can't put him out until the D is final unless he is abusive, & I need money which I dont' have to file. I moved out of the bedroom, hope he leaves this weekend but not holding out much hope on that one.

I thank God for showing me what I need to do, but I am so sad to think that after all I have gone thru, it comes to this. It is a blessing we don't have children who would be hurt by this as well, but it doesn't lessen the pain that I feel right now much at all. I, like Luv did not shed one tear yesterday, & I cry all the time, so I know I am on the right track. God didn't bring me this far to leave me, I know that & he will make a way for me to get thru this & do what I have to do, but like JT, God help me I still feel love for this man - why??? I am not afraid of being alone, I have been & I know I don't need a man to define ME.

Sorry for the ramble, please keep me in prayer, I so desparately need it.

I'm so here for you BBYG--hopefully I will get to chat with you soon--We have always said that we would know when it is time and I believe you have discovered that it is time for you to move on. I think that you sound at peace--love ya and saying a prayer for you.

BIG cyber HUGS

BG - So sorry that your H continues to hurt you like this. You deserve so much better. I have often wondered why our love for these men just doesn't die after all they put us through. God will lead you to where you need to be. I am praying for you.

Love you!!

Babygirl,

I am so sorry your husband is lying to you like that. It would be so much easier if they would just confess and tell the truth. So sorry you have to go through this kind of pain. Wow, you catch him and he still denies.

He's not smart enough for you Baby. You have him by the gonads and he is so foggy, he can't even say ouch.

Sorry.

You know, I think they (ws) sometimes get so caught up in the lies that they just don't know when to stop. Like that lie detector voice inside your head that gives you a twinge every time you even white lie is switched permenantly to "off." Or is rusty for disuse. Ug.

- Kimmy

Follow the advice of your laywer. If you can't put him out, find out about emotional abuse? If he is screaming at you, can that count?

Baby,

Not sure if you just mis-stated or what but it does not sound right that he can't be removed until the divorce is final. Usually, there has to be a period of separation, in my State it's one year. No, I can't have my H removed either unless I show abuse but one of us has to leave if we even want to START the D process. Check with him/her again.

Have you told her about him beating on the door, the cops coming, etc.? That may be enough to get a protective order. Does she know the house is in your name only? That may help you somehow.

My thoughts are with you. It seems like many of us are in the same boat but our boat is NOT going to sink. It's going to sail to a beautiful place where we are going to be happy and free from pain and hurt.

Sending you prayers and love.

Thanks ladies,

Kimmy - I definitely agree he is dumb, always has been but there were other qualities I loved, don't know where they went but they were there honest. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

Lynn - If I really stretched the truth I could make some abuse allegations, but truth be told I scream at him way more than he does me lately or ever so that won't work. That is just another reason why I have to get out of this, it is changing me, I still can't believe I was riding around town looking to confront him last nite, that is soooooo not me.

Just have to suck it up for now I guess. He knows I mean business, he doesn't know that I can't have the sheriffs remove him before the D is final so when I get the money to file & he is served maybe he will leave then.

I just pray that he will leave soon like he said, but what is a lie for him to tell. He doesn't want to leave, I wouldn't either if I was him, no I take that back, if I was him I would be MAN enough to be with one woman & leave the other one alone.

Luv,

I told her about the house being in my name only & purchased before the M but she said the D has to be final b4 I can make him leave.

Last week he threatened to break out windows, didn't actually do anything, by the time the police got there he calmly left. I am not scared of him or anything like that, just don't want to live w/ a liar any longer.

Didn't see him at all last nite, which is good, I am gonna ask him to leave this weekend, so we will see. If he refuses I will have to try & find the money & soon. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Babygirl,

So sorry for what you are going through.

BBYG,

I am so sorry! I have not read the SBF post so I was unaware of the agony you have been feeling. I know what you are going through. It is so hard to understand these men that we Love! But keep the faith I am a true witness that GOD will work it all out.

he is the one that you must put your trust in not your H. If it is meant to be it will be if not you will go on. I know it hurts like heck because I am living it. BByg I know it hurts to know that he is still lying to you ( BTDT).

Just keep your faith, and check into him leaving the house again that doesn't sound quite right. ny H name is not on my house and he had to leave. The states are different though and circumstances may be different as well.

JT

JT,

Thanks for words, I know u r right there with me, how r u today?

I have checked & double checked, if H wont' leave I have to wait it out thru the courts. I can make it really miserable 4 him to stay at home though. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

I believe that there is a reason 4 all this, don't know what yet, but this has 2 b God's will or I wouldn't have busted him lying last week or this past Tuesday. God is showing me that I need to let H go & move on, I am totally miserable w/ H in my house still continuing some type A w/ OW & it will never end, so I am at peace w/ my decision to end my M, just waiting for money & I will be moving ahead.

There is no other option for me at this point.

We will be ok though, I believe that. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I am here for you girl! Why put yourself out of the bedroom. Put his butt out. Give him the floor and if you need a dog to aggravate him while he is sleeping. Call me! I'll ship mine Fed Ex! LOL. I can't not beleive these men that have NO CLUE what they are loosing. I would put a key lock on MY bedroom door and wouldn't cook for him, no washing nothing! Make him want to leave. You have planned A his butt to death. He is going to have to change himself and one day he might, but not right now. Park in the middle at the end of the driveway ! Show him, he is headed for the street.
I know you are strong and I know you can do better and I KNOW you deserve better. Cause you are a special, loving, the greatest friend anyone could have. ((((((Hugs to you ))))))))
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny D

Hi Babygirl,

We are all rooting for you. Sunny has some evil ideas. I like it.

Sunny -

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> ... wouldn't cook for him, no washing nothing! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Stopped doing those things LONG ago, I am not a total doormat! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Genia - I agree w/ some of the suggestions & I plan to follow them. That will start a fight I am sure but I am taking the bdrm. back. I didn't screw up y should I be on that hard futon? Right?
I can lock the door to the rm. I will do that ha-ha, where is that evil graemlin when you need it! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Hey,

Just checking up on you today. How's everything going for you? I hope that you have g good holiday weekend inspite of your H dilemma's.

JT

JT,

Thanks for thinking of me, the weekend was good, heard another "don't give up" sermon at church on Sunday, instead of inspiring me it made me sad.

H did not do what I asked him to do as far as the "deadline" for filing for V & setting up DNA, surprise surprise.

Working on a plan to find money to start the D, since that is the only way he will leave & I can have some peace.

Thru it all still praying! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

BBYG,

That's all you can do for now - the rest is up to him!! Keep praying and the Lord will provide what is best for you. Trust him, not yourself - you are to vulnerable right now. I am praying for the best for your life and much happiness in it!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Love ya,

JT

JT,

You are absolutely right!!!

Thanks! God will open that door for me too, if it is his will. I could have the money tomorrow if I want it, but I am letting pride get in the way right now.

I will have an answer soon, I know it.