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#834208 09/02/04 06:35 PM
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 14
N
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N Offline
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 14
My wife is pregnant by another man and since he wants to be involved, should we take him to court for child support?

I have done some reasearch about child support but still have a few questions. My wife is not working so it would really help us out. I'm not sure, but I don't think they will look at my income- Just his and hers (which is zero). Is that right?

Since he is the father, shouldn't we MAKE him pay?

#834209 09/02/04 07:45 PM
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,536
K
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What you should or shouldn't do should only be considered in relation to the best interests of your marriage.

You should do whatever is in the best interests of your marriage & marital relationship.

You should not do anything that would hinder or hurt your marital relationship.

You should not do anything that you don't BOTH completely agree upon.
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If OM wants to be involved--he has a right to pursue that & you have the right to contest it since OC was concieved during your marriage, it is my understanding that the courts will automatically give you the fatherly rights (& responsibilities) as children concieved during marriage are legally presumed to be a product of the marriage. Do you know what I mean?
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Personally, i think the chances for marital recovery, healing, restoration & harmony are GREATEST when the OP is no longer involved in ANY way, shape or form.

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There are some men around here w/ OC. Some raise OC as their own & some are raising OC but OM pays CS & has visitation. They will, most likely, be able to offer you some more guidance & support.

Sorry to welcome you to the board..but I do see you have posted a few already...you are in the right place anyway.

#834210 09/02/04 08:08 PM
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 147
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Posts: 147
NewHere

If OM has no income then why involve him at all? Fight like he!! for No Contact. If he has no money than he has nothing to offer you. If you let him be involved, you expose your family to an element that has been distructive so far.

I think I have said this to someone here before: Three's a crowd!

(My opinion) WW has a choice to make. Him or you. If he feels like he so badly needs to be involved with the child, make sure he has to fight for it! Give him nothing! My guess is he isn't that concerned for the child, he doesn't want to give up WW. (again, just my Opinion)

Think about leading your family into healing vs. chaos.

#834211 09/03/04 02:09 PM
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 795
W
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Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 795
NewHere,

I would have to agree with KT and Painter. I think painter raised the point that three's a crowd well I say AMEN.

If OM really did want to have contact then I would agree you need to fight him at every corner. I personally don't think that contact is the best for anyone involved, but as KT said it has to be a decision that is best for the marriage ( both of you ).

You must really think this thru because it will effect your lives tremendously for at least the next 18 to 20 years.

JT


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