Hi you all,

I am sure this is no surprise to you. OC was due September 15th and was born right on the due date. I am so glad she did not wait till husband's birthday. He might have thought it was a sign or something. His birthday is September 16th. We received the call from OW's family at 4:30 AM this morning. I heard him ask what hospital. Also that he thought they would tell him. He ended saying he would be there. For some reason she had the baby in a hospital close to us instead of where she lives. She was on medicaid. Maybe that is where they sent her. It is the best hospital in the state. I am not sure why medicaid pays for the most expensive hospital. But it is only an hour away from us instead of 3 hours away where she lives. Husband gets off phone and I ask if she had the baby. He said yes. I said she probably did not tell you because remember you cussed her out the last time you talked to her. He said you all up in my conversation, I thought you were asleep. I say, Of course I am. I cannot sleep after that. He drapes his arm across me after that, and I am thinking he probably wants something out of me. I hug the edge of the bed but can't sleep. I feel stressed and my back hurts. I get up in the morning and say nothing about the baby. I do not even ask what she named her. I am just gonna wait and see what he does.

Genia,

Did he go to the hospital? Did u guys talk about u NOT be excluded in all this?

Stay strong sweetie, now the REAL hard part starts.

Love Ya,

G, (((HUGS Girl)))) Keep us updated. We are here if you need to talk. This day will come and pass. You will get though this. Don't let him take out anything on you!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny D

Hi Babygirl,

I got kicked off MB but got back on. No we did not talk. I do not want to get in confrontation with him the way he has been acting lately. He knows what I want. If he does not act accordingly then I will kick him out and hand him the Plan B letter I prepared. I know he told them he would be at the hospital today. He has not asked me to accompany him. I wonder if she gave her baby his last name. He offered to take paternity test but since I am getting fired I don't have money for that. I know I should accompany him to the hospital but like I said I have detached myself from him emotionally. I am not having SF with him.

Genia,

I am sure OW will give the baby H's last name, isnt that what MOST of them do? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

I don't blame u for detaching yourself, it is too bad that he can't afford the paternity test, DNA should be done asap. Also don't blame u for giving him his walking papers if he doesn't act accordingly, nip it in the bud girl. I am sure by now he knows what U need from him if he wants to stay in the home with you, don't accept anything less.

I am still hoping your M can survive this, I am only being blunt cuz I don't want to see another woman go thru what I have gone thru when it can be avoided. Some of these men act like they have such a hard time doing what is right. The wife comes first over OC, BC EVERYBODY, it is just that plain & simple. If your H can't do that then it is best u know now & do what u have to.

My prayers r with u.

Babygirl,

Thanks. I think OW is so stupid to give baby Husband's last name. Isn't it gonna look funny. She can't say her daughter has her last husband's name. Or maybe she will lie and say that. Urgh!!
Wouldn't it be more natural if her daughter had the same name as her. I wonder when husband is going to tell me the details of the birth or call me to tell me his plans. I will call him when I leave work to see when he plans on coming home. I will keep everybody posted but it seems not too many people are responding to me. Of well maybe some people do not know what to say so I will keep posting. It hurts but I am trying not to let it get to me too bad. I am not sure if it will hit me hard later or what but I am doing my best.

I sent u an email.

G, I don't think I would call him. Unless that is the usual time that you call. He's stressing and I dont want him to get mad and take it out on you. So I wouldn't even talk that much unless he brings it up. Wait a couple of days and then give him the letter if he went to the H. Get all your stuff in order incase he did. Praying for you.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny D

Genia,

I feel your pain, but stay strong. Here is how this thing works...if your husband does not sign the birth certificate, then his name will not appear as the baby;s father...it will be listed as father unknown, and the child will automatically get OW's last name...simply because she is not married to him. Your H would have to show ID (i.e driver's license) and sign the Birth Certificate in the Hospital...not wise, since he has not established paternity...this is critical because if he puts his name down, then child support almost, automatic whether he is the real father or not. Call him and hopefully you will get his voice mail, and u can refer this information to him, because he probably doesn't know. Take care.

Hi Sunny,

Husband likes me to call him on my way home for work. So this is normal. He had classes today. He normally would have called me by now. He is probably at the hospital now.

Gofigure,

Husband just called me. He just got up to the hospital. He said he seen the baby. Her name is Brianna Nichole. The mother gave the baby her last name. Husband said he was not signing nothing. His family must have got a hold of him and talked sense into him. Yeah for my husband. I then said, I wish I could see her. He said, I would. I asked how long he was staying. He said for a little while. He said the baby looks just like him and his other kids. I just wish I could be sharing in this experience with him instead of the OW. I would like to hold his baby, and my step baby. Uggh!!! I don't want to think of him and OW looking in the eyes of this newborn together. I am disconnected from him emotionally so that is all that is helping me get through this.

Genia,

I am so sorry that you are going through this pain, at least you don't have to deeal with the fact that the OC does have you H's last name. My H probably did sign the birth certificate I don't know I am just appauled. I have not been available today much because of the pending hurricane coming to my state (AL) tonight. I have been running ragged to get prepared since me and the kids will be all alone! <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

But You hang in there I would od as Sunny said earlier, get all your things in order before talking to your H. He may no tbe in the best mood.

Talk to you later I hope, Keep us in your prayers,

JT <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hi JT,

You be careful. Thanks for checking in. At first I thought everybody abandoned me because it took awhile to get my first response from this post. I am ready for anything. Got my Plan B letter ready just in case.

Genia,

Reading this board brings back so many memories, things I thought forgotten. I remember when OC was born. She called the house and told dad she was going into labor and asked him to come. He said he would visit after the baby was born. She had a screaming fit. While she was in labor. She then had another fit when dad refused to sign the paternity papers in front of the nursing staff. She could not put his name on the BC w/o his permission. That was a crazy time. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Hi,
I just wanted to say hang in theree.


(((((HUGS))))


Dawn

BIG HUGS GENIA

I have been reading this thread all throughout today and I was sure I responded but then I looked back through and thought you [censored]--you never said anything--sorry.

I guess I'm not with it today.

Hi Cody,

Glad your husband stood by you and did the right thing.

Hi Albany,

Thanks for your thoughts. I have to make correction. Husband I guess was so tired he blurted out the wrong hospital name. She had the baby three hours away from us. Husband came in at 9:30 PM. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> But I probably lovebusted. I jumped down his throat because he took some of my money for the trip. He gave me part of it back. Now he is pissed at me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> I feel so unloved right now. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> He told me not to talk to him for the rest of the night. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> He is so awed by how pretty the baby is. He called a couple friends. I feel so left out. His birthday is tommorrow and it will be hard picking out a card for him. I am so hurt and angry.

Genia
I had to respond to you! Girl..WHY on earth would you buy him a lousy birthday card. He doesn't deserve it.

This is the worse kind of betrayal...
I understand completely what you are going through. I pray tonight... for YOU. That god will give you strength and peace.

There is nothing romantic about this situation at all. It amazes me..that he would even comment..on this baby.... to you.

Just my opinion, he has absolutely no business being at the hospital. This all should be handle by your lawyer if you have one, if not... visitation should not happen..unless you are able to be present.

Your H should have come home.

I guess what I am trying say..I think tonight..I am angry enough for the both of US. Please take care of yourself and I don't give this creepy <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> OW another thought..BE good to you. You don't deserve this..nor does your children.

Wizard,

I am sure you are right. Husband was down right mean to me. Would not talk to me last night. I even changed the subject and told him how the last storm flooded my sisters basement. He did not even respond to that. He went to bed and hugged the edge as if I did something wrong. I just wonder why he thinks I should pay for him to go see OW and enjoy their child together. That was an experience that he should have been enjoying with me. Why can't he see my pain. Urrgh. He is so mean. He yelled at me this morning to get out of bed. I had to get out of bed, but I did not need him yelling at me. I did not kiss him bye like I usually do. I just told him Happy Birthday and left.

Someone on here wrote that if husband does not sign the BC, hte father will be listed as unknown and will automatically get OW's last name. This is not always true. My SO did not go to the hospital nor did he sign the BC, but OW gave OC his last name. I asked the people at Division of Vital Records if she could do that, and they said yes. She can give the baby any name she wants. She can name him Elvis Presley Jr if she wants.

The question is if it comes back not his can we make her change it? Or, if she's ever called on to provide a BC will it show that as his legal name, or does she have so much time to get auuthorization of paternity done before it is reversed and her name is given?

bmb, I think once she names the child it would be hard to get her to change it. I'm not sure on that one though. I know I gave my baby mine and xmm last name and she can choose when she is older what she wants to do.........if paternity comes back a no, I'm sure you could take her to court, but like you were told she can name that baby anything she wants........George Bush etc. Good question though.