This post kinda really bugs me. I guess if I was in your situation I would be the same as you.

My H's OC was born in April we believe, we don't know when, we don't know a njame we have no picture, there is nc. I am so glad I'm not going through what you are. I'm strong enough to the point where I will leave if things aren't done right. I don't care anymore, if he won't do it right then I will go. Girly he shouldn't be anywhere near the OW without you, he shouldn't be sharing in any bonding moments with her. At the very least he should be in the waiting room or something, not in there with her, that's innapropriate, shes not his wife. I'm sorry but I know this is wrong, and it triggers me becouse I was almost in your shoes.

My H was all about being there to support her in the birth and stay there the night and everything. Me still in the groveling stage of my recovery said I understand although I don't like it, then it was I understand why you would, but I can't handle it and I think I might have to leave if you do, then it was I swear if you pull that sh*t I'm so fing out of here. But by answer number 2 he was starting nc and started to loathe her till eventually he wanted nothing to do with her, and didn't see how he could love her child, and he was too afraid to pursue OC afraid of losing his family in the aftermath.

I actually encouraged him to see OC, I even said I didn't know if I could be married with a man who abandons his child. Just as long as there is nc with OW I have come to terms with it though, I will let him decide on his relationship with OC whatever it might be I will support him. Again as long as there is no contact with OW. You need to lay down the law. Don't let him walk all over you. Don't worry your back bone will return in time. It took awhile for me, now I have too much back bone for my own good. lol

I am here if you need someone in like situation to talk to.

Hi Smurf,

Thanks. Sorry you had to go through all that. I thought I answered but evidently, did not. I am in a state of confusion right now. Husband is not talking about OC/OW and I am not bringing it up. Things seem OK now but I do not think they are.

I have no idea how that is any excuse for his behavior or your allowing of that behavior.

Hi Smurf,

You are correct. I cannot control his behavior, only my reaction to his behavior. I have chosen to wait till he visits OC/OW without me and to pack his bags if that is what he choses.

Hi Sweets,

What's going on? No I did not abandon you in your time of need I just had a training sessions last week with my firm. I am back thouhg and can tell you are in much pain. Okay, with that out of the way are you ready fro my honest / blunt opinion?

If so let me know?

JT <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Hi JT,

I read your response in the other thread. I quite agree. I also agree that I am addicted. Another problem is when he left last time, I still talked to his step-mom because we have become close through a common bond. Her husband also mistreats her. But through talking to her, husband would answer the phone sometimes and he wanted to come back home, and I was weak. I recognize I am addicted to him so the next time, I cannot call his step-mom. Maybe I should just ask her to call me. Or do I have to cut myself off from her. I have no friends I hang out with. I am not sure what to do. I got lonely being there by myself. I don't think getting a roommate would be a good option. A lot of people have trouble with roommates. So when I get lonely after I get him to leave what would I do.

Hi Genia

Sounds like you are thinking in the right direction....

But being lonely is not the worse thing... its time to grow...be a better you. I know that is easier said and then done....but it takes practice. Start off slow... join a local gym..for woman only or take a class that you have always been meaning to do. Do volunteer work..you be amazed..just helping people..you are helping yourself.

Maybe its b/c you are afraid to be alone..then you would have more time on your hands to think about all the pain you are in.

Genia.. I know for a fact you deserve so much better than this... I hope God will give you the strength to find that courage. You have to be true to you..first. One serious question? Ok? Can you live being treated like this any longer?

Talk soon..
wiz

<small>[ September 28, 2004, 05:18 AM: Message edited by: wizard ]</small>

Hi Wizard,

Thanks.