HeY Kris--Haven't heard from you and I'm worried--things seemed good when we last chatted but things can change so quick so I just to see how you are.

I was thinking the OC is nearing arrival time. Is that right? If so, maybe that is why we haven't heard from you.

HUGS and Prayers

Thanks Albany for checking up on me. I am sorry I haven't been around. I have been in my own little funky state of depression of sorts. And every time I check up on you all, something bad was happening. Guess I just couldn't handle it with the way I have been feeling. Anyway, decided to take some time to get myself together.

I am feeling better. Still no real changes with H. At times, he seems like he will be coming home, but others times he mentions that he still thinks of OW. Seems like I am constantly getting my hopes up, just to take a plunge into all the doubts again. I have had enough of it. I am trying really hard these days to focus on what is important. Trying to keep my trust in God that he will get me through this.

Six days and counting to the due date. I should be a step mom any day now. I still have no idea what H is planning to do if OW calls and says baby is coming. He is real good at avoiding giving me a straight answer. At this point, I am not even sure she will call him. Last he told me, she will not return calls and wants nothing to do with him. She is doing a perfect plan B - because it has got him thinking of her. At times he says he is done with her and just is concerned with OC. Hints that he will stay at apartment so he can see OC. I think he is just afraid of how everyone will handle OC.

I am just at the point that I just can't worry about it anymore. It has not been good for me. Whatever he decides to do, I have no control - why let it upset me anymore? It is taking too big a toll on me - mentally and physically. That old heavy weight has been sitting on my chest again for the last few weeks. The stress is too much and if H can't make up his mind, then I will just have to make some tough decisions.

Long story short - I think how H reacts to birth of OC will tell the story. Since she is still on his mind alot - I believe that if he is a part of this birth - the A will probably start again. If he decides to include me and stand by me, our M will survive. Whatever his choice, I will move on and be a better person for all this.

Hey Kris,

Been thinking of u & praying that things were better w/ H, I think u r right though, the birth of the baby will most likely set the stage for what is to come.

H will have to make a choice whether he wants to keep u in his life & still be a part-time father to OC or let u go. I am sure he won't want to do either, that is where the fence sitting comes in & u may have to make a decision for him, but God will lead u in the path he wants u to go & whether that includes H or not he will take care of u.

Big hugs to u sweetie. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{Kris}}}}}}}}}}}}

Hey Kris, I would have to agree with you about how he reacts to the birth. However, things can change even if his first reactions were not right.

I hope and pray for you, that your H comes around and comes home to the one that truly loves him.

Hey Kris,

How's it going? I hope you are doing well, i have been thinking about you too lately. I kept going on SXF but I guess I was missing everyone. I'll check in on you a little later.

JT