SORRY, THIS ENDED UP BEING A VERY LONG POST -
BUT PLEASE READ OR AT LEAST SKIM THRU AND GIVE YOUR THOUGHTS AND ADVISE.
last time i posted was a year ago, when we lost our house to foreclosure.H and i were moving to separate places(H needed time away from everythng).we still saw each other now and then,he even stayed a few nights with me,which eventually became more often.so i really thought we were going to be back together. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> hurray!!!
well on christmas day,h went to pick up oc,i didn't go,i was cooking dinner.H said he'll be back around 2pm.he wasn't home by then,so i call him on his cell,no answer,leave a message, hour later still no callback,this went on all day, call his cell,no callback. even called his parents to se if they heard from him, they hadn't.
called ow, but didn't have the nerve to ask for H. in the meantime, i cooked dinner,hoping he would walk in any moment.
around 7pm,ow calls,i didn't answer it(caller id),she left a message,informing me she just had sex with my h,and i must really be a sick person to have him after her.end of call. she calls back again,leaves another message, saying she is one month pregnanta and it is my h's.so you know i really blow my top.i called everywhere to find him,the place where he was staying, his parent's home, and of course(as mad as i was) i informed his parents of what ow said and i couldn't get hold of h. i ask if they heard from him, to have him call me.well i still haven't heard from him at 10pm or so.I'm really fuming at this point now. i get oc and h's x-mas persents together, pack them in my car, drove by where was staying, to make sure he wasn't there,he could have been and just told them to say he wasn't. next i drove to his parent's house, his not there, at least not yet,i know this is where he end up at, with oc with him. so i take all their gifts, give them to his mom and i also give her my wedding rings, told her a few thing to say to h.then i went home. while i was gone, ow called a few times leaving really nasty messages, which is not unusaul.stayed home only for alittle while, drove back over to his parent's house, he truck was in the driveway, called the house,didn't want to face his parents again,asked his mom to have hm come out to my car. he did, but he couldn't look me in the eye, but said he wasn't sure if ow was telling the truth or not about being pregnant. had said he was seeing ow for awhile.and he was very,very sorry for hurting me again. i told him i hated him,i didn't want to be with him ever again.and i was only going to stay in town until my daughter graduated from HS in june, and in the meantime he was going to help me with all of my bills.he said ok, then went inside and i went home, and cryed all night.
and for the next couple of weeks,he stayed with me almost every night,we spent alot of time together talking and crying. the day before new years eve, both of our vehicles were vandilized, ow had something to do with it but we couldn't prove it and she denied it. and since that night h moved in with me afraid for me.(how sweet)in the meantime ow kept calling leaving message about more and more details of them seeing each other again and how long it was going on,places where they done it. going back to x-mas of last year,at my sister's house while they were out of town, up to october at our old house while he was there finishing moving our stuff out <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> .that really hurt,i should of been the last one to have sex with him in our house <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> .
well, we did alot of talking, he fested up to everything she had said to me about seeing each other. it went on for a year, and almost every week he took off from work to go spend time with oc and ow. because he wanted to be more involved with oc's life.which i understand.and over this time he realized she is not the person he wants to be with, even if it meant not being with oc as much. and i was the only one he wanted and needed in his life.and he'll make the best of the time he has with oc,especially with me being there with them, the time is a whole lot better, cuz i'm a better mom to oc then ow.
so now time has flown by, my daughter has graduated and is now at college,3-1/2 hours away, and just another 3-1/2 or so hours pasted there, my other daughter & son-in-law with the joy of my life, my grandson lives.my son lives here, we were not close(a problem teenager) but lately we have been getting closer, he has his life back in order.and my lease is up on my place at the end of this month,H and i are moving into his sister's house(they are moving to a new home at the same time we move in)the rent will be cheaper,which is great.H & I have been getting along, he has been doing all the right things,calling to let me know where he is at, where he is going from there, being there for me and talking to me. so what is the prolbem
? now that it's just going to be us(h & i), I'm not sure i want to stay here anymore, there is nothing keeping me here,and moving closer to my grandson looks really good to me.this has been going thru my mind for the last 3 or 4 months.i'm not sure if i want to take the chance of him hurting me again.i don't know if i can trust him.there are still alot of things h & i need to talked over,which we have started,i believe we need to get back into marriage counceling,which he has agreed to do.but i have been on an emotional rollercoaster,which is affecting my whole wellbeing and my job(i went off on the boss on friday),i'm no sure if i still have a job,i'm making h call later to find out and explain what is going on in my life right now, i haven't really spoken to the boss in a long time about all this, just bits and pieces now and then.
so with all this said, do anyone of you have any advise or thoughts.sorry this is so long.thank you so much for for listening.
ps:i forgot to say what happened about ow being pregnant.about 3months after this new s from ow,a friend of mine,who knows ow's brother andsister-in law,she said somthing to them,and brother said something to their mother,she laughed and said ow had her tubes tied when she had oc,she was there when happened. brother had my friend call us asap to let us know this, good knew to hear on our anniversary, huh! but h never says anything to ow,about what we found out,we just let her carry on with story and see how far she takes it.we thought she would,sometime early on in socalled pregnancy of her,say she had a miscarriage,but ow played it up real good in the earlier months, wearing xxl shirts(she probably stuffed her shirts and pants making herself bigger each month),rubbing belly and all.she even said she had a ultrasound and said it was a boy.she even told the caseworker who handles their mediation for visitation and any problems with ow about oc, that she was pregnant and due in september.H informed caseworker of what we knew.everyone kept queit.ow kept up her little game all spring and summer,but never really saying anything more to h about his socalled child.
we went on vacation last week in august,H cancelled his visit with oc that week(in a letter)but she still called to see if h was picking up oc that day8/25(i guess she can't read)she said nothing about baby.that tuesday-8/31 after we got back, she called H at work saying that on the 19th, she had baby and he was stillborn.H said oh really,she said he was being cold hearted.he said there was no reason for him to care,cuz he wasn't the father and there wasn't anything to prove that it was his child.with her crying,she said it was. so h played along with her game,H asked her if child was cremated(if so,where are the ashes) or buried(where he was laid to rest), she said she didn't know her mom took care of all that.oh please,a grieving mother would at least find this out even if she didn't make the arrangements, right?!! well h told her,that he heard she had her tubes tied when she had 1st child,she denied having that done and she wasn't lying about this child.
she is such a sick little -itch, she sure needs some mental help.
well, i told my friend, she got brother and sister-in-law phone# for me and i called and spoke to the sister-in-law. she agreed ow is really sick. i haven't called her back yet to find out if they said anything to the mother or ow, and if they did what happened and what was said. i told h, he needs to call caseworker and let her know what is going on. so far he hasn't.
