I am so happy to find this site again. I lost track of it years ago. My d day was 03/16/02, was told about A and OC who was at the time nine months. Was told b/c he had to start paying cs. He never has had any c, that I know of. OW worked in his building, still does. I have fought tooth and nail for two years now, the topic was not up or discussion period, b/c it would turn into a huge blowout. I found out I was pregnant about two weeks after d day with our third. We have been in couseling off and on, about two months ago my husband revealed to me in counseling that he was c and he didn't have c b/c of me, huge bombshell. We contacted ow and tried to set up c, she said she was busy and was supposed to call back. Never did, this was around labor day. Two days ago my husband told me he wanted to call ow for c. He called her and it is set up for tonight. I have never seen ow or oc at all. My children who are 9, 4, and 2, all girls do not know anything about a or oc. I would like to keep it that way, but is that fair? My 9 year old is very keep yur emotions to yourself kind of girl, she will not say I love you if you threatened to kill her. She is very close to her dad, I am so afraid of what all this will do to her. I have prayed so much for acceptance, and I know it is thorugh Christ that I caneven sit here and tell you visitation is today. No one knows, I haven't told anyone, b/c I don't want to hear how stupid I am. That's why I am here to find help form those in my situation. Part of me, wants to run away and nver look back, I don't want him to see her, I just want us. The other part of me feels sooo guilty that there is a little girl without a father. My couselor told me it's a terrible situation that no one wants to be in , but it's in your lap so you have to deal with it. My husband tells me I have no idea how he feels, guilty as ___, I'm sure, but is it fair that he gets to ease some of his guilt by seeing her and put all this in my lap? I am so afraid to see what ow looks like, I am also afraid of what I might do or say to her. We are meeting in a public place, chick-fil-a playground at 7:00 tonight, without my children. Prayers are appreciated.
Thanks
M-29
H-34
Married-10 yrs
3 girls
9,4,2
d day 03/19/02
oc 3 yrs old

Hello Yelo,

I feel your pain. Just try to stay cool. Try not to have an outburst ( I know...easier said than done)...hopefully Ow has moved on with her life, and has the welfare of the OC in mind. Be thankful that your husband came to you ( don't worry, he is still feeling guilty as hell), and is including you in this first visitation...he could of done it behind your back, and u would of never known...so just be glad about that. And remember, u have done nothing wrong, so there is nothing for u to be ashamed of...yes, it is a difficult situation to deal with, but God will bring u thru it. Take care. Remember, hold that tongue, bite it if u have to. Your husband will be watching to see how u react, and this is how he will deal with whether to include u or not...as funny as that sounds. Be the bigger person tonight.

I just want to tell you I am praying for you tonight. I know your pain. My H has seen the OC (after he was born Aug) The child has medical conditions and it's hard as a mother of 4 not to feel bad for the OW. Yet I still have bad feeling for what she and my H have done to our family. I have often questioned God on why he would bring a child into the world this way?
It's not for us to know. He (God) has a plan for all of us .
It's easy to say but hard to really feel it . Just keep reminding yourself that his plan is bigger then all of us , continue to live your life as if everyday was judgement day.

Your post has lifted me today as I can focus on prayer for you and not feel sorry for myself.
Thanks
Lori

Hi,

I am so sorry I missed your post. I hope the meeting went OK. Sorry you are going through this. Contact is something that should be agreed on by you and your husband. I understand you not wanting your children to know who OC is.