Thanks KT -

Again, this was not for "her" at all- I just felt the urge for to tell her (since H doesn't say squat..) that this was H's decision, don't look to me as a blame, etc. Also that my kids come first in all this- as hers does to hers. But the OW here served to reminde me that she doesn't even DESERVE that from ME. Scr*ew her. She got what she asked for, and so did H. My hands have NO blood on them. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I can get into enough darn trouble on my own- why take on any that I don't own. ha!

Read my other post to Sunny's thread too.

KT- have you heard ANYTHING at all from OW since NC letter? I did read it! It was far too boring. I wanted juice. LOL JUST KIDDING! hugs!

<small>[ September 28, 2004, 01:13 PM: Message edited by: giovanna123 ]</small>

Writing a letter to OW is not in your best interest. I agree with the poster that said the OW simply doesn't care what you have to say. She's in her own "fog" and you're not going to bring her out of it. I think I read another poster saying to write the letter for yourself but not send it. I agree. You need to think and put into words what you're thinking for yourself. I've done this with other matters and then filed it away on here and gone back to read and then eventually I get it out of my system and delete it. I've satisfied myself then. Again, she isn't going to get it period. I'm in the middle of the same sort of mess and boy or boy would I like to write her or go tell her how it really is cuz WH won't, but I know that'll just feed her. Take time to feed yourself with positive thoughts and take care of number 1 first.

I'm going to write this letter- whats the big deal:

OW-

You can have my H- I'm packing his things and sending them over with him TOMORROW. He farts too much, eats too much, and he snores. When he's not sleeping, he is hogging up ALL OF MY MIRROR space cuz he thinks he's prettier than me...

He does not have to pay me any alimony, you can have all his money. Well, when he gets some. Oh, my one and only demand is that you allow him to come over one day a week while I'm at work and take out the garbage, mess up kitchen and use up all the toilet paper- since thats pretty much keeping up my standard of living.

Hey, thanks lady, Love, Giovanna

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

HA HA HAHAHAAHHA JUST KIDDING Y'ALL- a little funnie to lighten it up..LOL!

<small>[ September 28, 2004, 06:25 PM: Message edited by: giovanna123 ]</small>

I like it!!!!!!!!!!! Said very well.

Go ahead and send the letter to OW. I can almost guarantee it will wind up in her lawyer's folder and trotted out during court proceedings. H did the same thing to OW during court.
And...Cheerful little one is right....OW won't care. I wouldn't care if it was me. I'd probably just show it to my friends and laugh.

By the way....just remember....if you go to "their" site....they can come "here".

ent

ENTwife and notsocheerfulsince i got dumped, go back to TOW, no one there or here enjoys board wars. If you are not trying to recieve support and info on rebuilding your marriage, which you oh so obviously are NOT, you don't belong here. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

<small>[ September 29, 2004, 09:59 AM: Message edited by: cherise ]</small>

"By the way....just remember....if you go to "their" site....they can come "here"."

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Be careful ent, you have no idea what you are getting your self in to.

Ent-

Your memory is twisted- or rather, you have no clue or something. I can NOT post on the other board. My posts are removed completely as is anyone with an opposing outlook. Their new mods w/their "zero tollerance" movement (haha) will not allow any BS to post anything that dares speak the truth about their OWN situation if it does not agree w/OW reasoning.

I have always had the opinion of "who cares" who posts- I have no problem hearing and joining a good debate, etc. However, my tollerance is not the same now. If I cannot post there- I will show my disapproval towards them here also. Thats just ME though- I resent no one who posts both places.

You have it wrong- you don't annoy peole because you post "there"....

YOU remember, Ent- that you are completely against US and our REASONING here- you make fun of MB beliefs/christianity, etc. over "there". You have succeeded in getting stroked and winning the Good BS award, especially since you quote people here and make fun of them. Why are you here? With all of those who DISGUST you here?

You are not just showing different views here, and there- you are simply two-faced and thats what gets on people's nerves. When I posted there I was completely HONEST- and did not look for STOW approval - nor was I a troll. Why don't you stick to your guns- get a personality of your own- and quit trying to play both sides.

Furthermore, you join in on a discussion recently over "there" that was ALL BUT NAMING members here and ridiculing how DUMB they are- THEN you post to one of THOSE members JOKED ABOUT specifically today - WHERE WAS THAT CARING over "there"? hmmmm

Ent- your H cheated multiple times too- you took him back.. So really, they are making fun of you too <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> .

<small>[ September 29, 2004, 11:00 AM: Message edited by: giovanna123 ]</small>

--- AND FURTHERMORE --- EEERRR

AGAIN-- I DON'T GIVE A CRAP WHAT SHE THINGS-- DUH ITS ABOUT ME FOR A CHANGE!!!! ME ME ME ME ME NOT ABOUT DARN STINKIN OW/H OR OC... GET THAT????????

Let "them" over "there", you or even H's xOW show her friends and laugh- HA! Don't you see THE IRONY in these people laughing at US?

Shoooot it further proves their MENTALITY cause what GROWN WOMAN, yourself included, runs around giggling w/friends about family business like this?? What FRIEND finds it hysterical that her friend, A GROWN WOMAN got herself pregnant to a MM and then thinks his WIFE is the joke?Are your friends 16 ?

RANT OVER-- SORRY TO ANYONE else I OFFENDED- OR to any xOW here who is a normal, caring and AWAKE human being.....

<small>[ September 29, 2004, 11:23 AM: Message edited by: giovanna123 ]</small>

You or any other BS, such as myself are certainly NOT the joke when an affair becomes public. I've seen this in enough work places to know. THEY are the joke. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Cherise- you are so right.

At present our firm has two EA's going on (long term for both). All four parties are married with children. They ARE not such a "joke" anymore. It is affecting the professionals in their practice group daily in many ways, and, 2 attorneys have literally quit because they could not deal with the lack of action being taken by upper management. They are always "disappering" for long periods of time- thus their responsiblities are scluffed onto THOSE THAT CAN control their sexual urges during work hours. Just like the BS- the coworkers who show their commitment and do what is expected of them- are the ones who have to CLEAN UP THE MESS.

It affects everyone, not just the people who can't control their sexual urges.

Oh for funny " The father has no backbone, no heart, no concience..." I LMAO at that. Teh Father has his own children at home, whom he loves and adores and is concerned for them. He is SHOWING backbone by leaving his mistakes (ow/oc)in the past, paying cs and moving on with his life and his family.

As for the ow? She is a whore who does not matter nor should she. Send her the check and move on with your life. She isn't worth the price of the stamp. If she is wondering why her baby has do father in her life she is an idiot. The father is to busy with his family and helping those he hurt heal. She should realize exactly where she stands.

Do not write or contact her. She is not worth it.

OW by nature are immature, selfish greedy losers who prey on others. They see themselves as vitims of a game they willingly played. Then when they get dumped, they cry foul and try to play the victim. Do not ever give an ow one single bit of care/concern. What you do or do not do is none of her business.

While she is wondering why daddy doesn't want anything to do with her baby, it is cause it is 1/2 of her. He is home, looking into the beautiful eyes of his children, holding them close and doing all he can to make up to THOSE HE LOVES the huge mistake he has made. The OW can care for her child. He is to busy loving up his children born of love and commitment and honor. He has betrayed those children and it is his backbone, heart and conscience that he uses to make his wrongs right. He owes his family no less. He owes the oc child support. But he never should sacrifice the lives of his children of the marriage for the oc. Everyone gets their piece of the hurt pie. OC piece usually means no daddy around. The ow is just as responsible for the plight her fatherless life her child will live.

So, forget her. Move on with your life. She isn't worth the effort.

umm eeer
Yeah, whats up w/the no backbone crap-- when these people are in an A they have NO BACKBONE, CONSCIENCE OR HEART!!

But NOW THEY DO!! xOW does cause she is raising her child as a single parent, which I have done and know that is hard work- she is also sharing her heart with the child.

xMM is FACING his mistakes, his M his children - he is VERY BRAVE to come home and do this. My H always said- HOW COULD YOU THINK I didn't love you and want our family- HOW THE EASY ROAD would be to RUN LIKE HELL from the mess he made and start over without all the "making up" to do, etc.

Most times the only reason the WS does go to live w/OW is because she requires much less work to keep happy- she'll settle for less cause she always was. It takes too much BACKBONE for some to make things right w/W and children.
okay, I am not sending it.

Well, at the beginning of this you asked my opinion, and I've been thinking about it...

I really can't give you much.

Each individual situation is so different that what I might think or feel would be totally different than what someone else would, so my opinion doesn't help there.

If you want to write the letter for yourself, write it. If you want to send it, send it. If she laughs, she laughs. Just do what you need to.

oops. double post!

<small>[ September 30, 2004, 09:15 AM: Message edited by: meNtheboyz ]</small>

If I received a letter from my BW as to why her H has made the choices he has regarding OC... I think I would be confused... as to why he is not writing it himself. i would not really believe the letter unless it came directly from the horses mouth so to speak or else I would really not pay any mind to it either way. I would read it... probably would not respond though... file it away, and just go on about my day.

But OC is still a "secret" at this point so I havent had to deal with that potential situation, but we are speaking hypothetically.

As for the ow? She is a whore who does not matter nor should she
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Real NICE Lynn.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by giovanna123:
<strong> umm eeer
Yeah, whats up w/the no backbone crap-- when these people are in an A they have NO BACKBONE, CONSCIENCE OR HEART!!

But NOW THEY DO!! xOW does cause she is raising her child as a single parent, which I have done and know that is hard work- she is also sharing her heart with the child.

xMM is FACING his mistakes, his M his children - he is VERY BRAVE to come home and do this. My H always said- HOW COULD YOU THINK I didn't love you and want our family- HOW THE EASY ROAD would be to RUN LIKE HELL from the mess he made and start over without all the "making up" to do, etc.

Most times the only reason the WS does go to live w/OW is because she requires much less work to keep happy- she'll settle for less cause she always was. It takes too much BACKBONE for some to make things right w/W and children.
okay, I am not sending it. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I have a question. Why is it that AFTER the affair, WH can suddenly grow a backbone, conscience and a heart because he is making it up to his family, but OW remains evil, vile, a whore, whatever you want to call her. Your H becomes saint of the year, but she has no chance of redemption in her life? I didn't take the easy way out - that would have been an abortion. And for the record - it takes a hell of a lot of backbone to be a good parent. Even a single one.

The husband is not a saint. But the relationship, if worth saving can be. As for the ow? She MEANS NOTHING to the bw and the future of the marriage. As for her being a whore, what else would one call an ow? A pillar of morality? Don't think so. The OW, IS a whore in the story of the couple. She does not matter.

Does she matter elsewhere? Could be. But as far as the marriage goes, she is a whore who means nothing.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by LynnG:
<strong> The husband is not a saint. But the relationship, if worth saving can be. As for the ow? She MEANS NOTHING to the bw and the future of the marriage. As for her being a whore, what else would one call an ow? A pillar of morality? Don't think so. The OW, IS a whore in the story of the couple. She does not matter.

Does she matter elsewhere? Could be. But as far as the marriage goes, she is a whore who means nothing. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">OK, well then let's turn it around, shall we? As for the BW? She means nothing to the OW and the future of her child. As for being a whore? Men can be whores, too. So apparently he remains a whore? And *he* does not matter. It just kills me that there can be such selectiveness in the outcomes, MM/xMM comes out smelling like roses (because he can turn his life around) yet OW/xOW will always be a whore and just a nasty person. Can a BW, once a shrew, remain so? Or is she allowed to change?