Should I take diapers etc down to OW? WH has in the past just gone down to drop them off. I let him know that I didn't think it was appropriate and it was hurtful to me that he go down there without me or a third party even to just drop diapers etc off. He hasn't since (that I know of), but now we have these supplies that need to be given to her and the reason he's giving me not to do it is that he doesn't want to "deal" with it, ie - that she may be pO's because I was with him because of course I'm the evil BS who wrote her a short to the point letter anger in the first two weeks I found out about the pregnancy and A Didn't call her names etc, just a "to the point short letter". Was it right or wrong - neither probably, but would I not have done it now - YEP. Wasn't worth the effort, because as most of us know, doesn't matter what you say or how you say it, it will be used against you, ie. the EVIL BS.

I say Oh well, she's going to be PO'd sooner or later anyway and need to get it done with and get on with what's best for baby. The sooner she "sees" that we are as one - even though she sees us together driving etc. (very, very small town) and WH is home every night I think OW tend to "justify" those things as he "has" to be there or she's "making" him. I say if you have nothing to hide then you hide nothing. Leaves little room for imagination if all is out - right?

Anywhoooo.... for those of you that are going to ask. Paternity test still in the works - result 10/05. There is no court ordered anything yet, but WH believe he should be supplying something, so we are. Chalk it up to experience if baby is not his.

BTW - I have never spoken one word to her or had any contact other than the initial letter. Other than following me around doing errands a couple times and her phoning my WH at work once to imply that I was making phone calls to her work and then slipping in there that she needed some money (before baby was born - -long story), there has been no formal or informal contact.

So girls, should I take supplies down to her? You know I just thought if you do say I should, then I should take a "third party" myself, so there's no she said, she did BS. The OW is as OW are most often living in their fantasy world and is very manipulative and sneaky.

Thanks all.

I was hoping somebody else would have answered by now, but I think you should go with your husband if possible.

Hello Inanutshell,

Question??? This OW lives in the same building or complex as u???? WOW...I would probably either knock on her door, and when she opens it, leave the stuff on the floor by the door, and walk away, or have a third party knock on her door and give her the stuff, and say who it is from, and leave...no talk.

You are a strong soul, because I don't think I could be living in the same place as OW without slapping her each time I saw her, pregnant or not, just because. Stay strong...didn't mean to be negative, but just my 2 cents.

Check out the laws in your area. If you or your H gives her any $$ or material goods, it c/b construed by the courts as admission of it being your H's child (DNA tests or not). Then she could come after both your wages for 'child support'.

Let the OW pay her own way. She is the one who choose to lower her morals and panties at the same time. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

If she is hinting for $$, give her the # to the welfare dept. She is not your responsibility until the paternity test results are finalized against your H.

JMHO,
L.

True Orchid. INANUTSHEll, why are u giving her stuff if paternity hasn't been established???? I guess your H started it,huh? Well, I would not be breaking my neck for her at all. It is already alot to deal with. I agree with Orchid...check the laws...although I think you have up to 2 years old of the age of the child before the courts will deem your H the father automatically for taking care of the OC before hand. The courts will say that the OC has become attached to your H or that your H is the only father figure the child knows...even if paternity is not established. Don't quote me on this info, just check the laws.

Why not? Why not hold your head up high and show her what a strong woman you are. What is so wrong with knocking on the door and saying Hi, here are some diapers.

I did this with H Xow. When she was pregnant I bought a bunch of baby stuff to her. She didn't ask, it was a total surprise to her. Through out Oc baby time I would mail toys to her, drop off diapers and clothes.

But this is just how I am.

STOP ALL CONTACT/GIFTS/SUPPORT IMMEDIATELY.

Until paternity is established, you owe her nada.

Do this by the book. PERIOD. Should paternity be establised against your husband, be prepared to pay child support LEGALLY and go from there. Even then, once the check is sent, you don't have to buy a thing for her.

Remember, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. You start supporting her now and you could be paying for years for a child that isn't even his. And believe me, you would be surprised at how many times that happens.

Stop contact. Stop sending a thing. Ignore her until it is proven you owe support. And then, do it legally and move on with your life.