"My child will have RAGE for a man who walked away. "

No where did I say "I wish this upon my child".
I'm simply stating a fact. One that you, Pepperband, have seen with your children who do not know their birth parents. There is anger in these situations. I don't wish for anger, I am acknowledging the inevitable. I will work with my child to overcome any issues that may arise from this situation.

This does not mean that I "wish" for it.


Regarding my statement about respect- I mean that point blank. I plan to teach him to respect everything in life a person SHOULD have respect for.

Originally posted by needtomoveon:
If you think your going to make a child feel any better by saying "I chose" my other kids and wife over you......as I did NOT want you.......what the heck is that saying?

What in blazes ARE you talking about? Are you addressing me personally or my specific written words? Is this even an appropriate question for a site dedicated to marriage building? Why come here for a discussion about such problems you face as a result of your affair? It makes no sense to discuss this issue here. It is the wrong site for answers to that question. I am NOT saying this issue is not important to you, but that you seek answers inappropriately. If you want to buy mayonnaise, don't go into the hardware store and complain they don't sell mayo. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

You just mentioned yourself about your child that has the problems coping with her birth mother. IT HAPPENS and you deal with it in the best way you can to teach your kids and show your kids you love them unconditionaly. Thats as parents we are suppose to do. Do you agree?

Again, if you ask about how to recover your marriage after an affair, a marriage that now has to deal with an OC, then this is the place for you.

But without a marriage building discussion as the ground-floor of your question, I just don't see the point of hashing it out when there is no reference material for the discussion on Harley's concept pages.

Please help me understand the point of your questions about how to deal with OC issues if you are not here to use the site's wealth of relationship tools.

Pep

Well Pep, I am just too through with these "helpful" married ladies coming here for kicks- esp. CLO.

Please forgive me, Pep, for interrupting you here.. but I must say to NTMO.. what IS your point - I am so glad that CLO's older child is gifted. What is your point?

That has everything to do w/genetics- and obviously skipped a generation. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Pepperband, I just did a quick run through of posts and it appears that 93.6% of the posts here pertain to the OC and dealing with OW and OC issues, 5.2% deal with the actual issues within the marriage and the last 1.2% pertain to issues related to neither (ie: Books, Lyrics, SXF website, etc.)

Gio, and how old are you? Please........!!!! And I even edited a post way back when when I used your wrong screen name and you were not thrilled about it. There you go calling names again.......and pep...you again can twist what ever you want. It's what you live for. And apprently you missed the i e. Does that surprise me? No. I tried to to be nice and respectful with what I said and again you just can't be respectful back can you?

<small>[ October 05, 2004, 10:29 PM: Message edited by: needtomoveon ]</small>

You're wrong there,clo. Read more posts- you only read and respond to and pay attention to the ones that you feel you can SLITHER into and stir up.

The site is called MARRIAGEBUILDERS. Which post of YOURS mentions your H, if you have one?

Which post supports the married people here?

Which post mentions anything but disagreements and an obvious desire to stick it to the BSs here who you hate - due to your MM dumping your [censored]?

Tell us about your M okay?

THEN, also, talk your self-riteous mods over at YOUR boards to let US analyze YOUR board.

How old am I? I'm old enough to know NOT get myself pregnant to a married man, then cry about how I was done wrong and THEN come onto a site like this and want to be "respected".

<small>[ October 05, 2004, 10:33 PM: Message edited by: giovanna123 ]</small>

Listen, I've been here for over a year.

I came out of lurking when an opinion of an OW was requested.

Oh, YOU requested OW opinions.

That is ALL I was doing. Giving you the insight you asked for.

CLO does not post on TOW!!! There my self rigthous mods. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Okay..........we've gone back and forth enough. All we are doing is picking on each other. Let's do a truths!!!! YOur views are yours and mine are mine.........but we are all still woman dealing with the same issues. PMSING???? MEN?????????? HUSBANDS???????? KIDS??????????? The lastest sale at DILLARDS?????? Have we missed it?????? Do we immunize or not??????? Did we miss that sale at Dillards????? Do we be SAHMS or working mothers???????? Did we miss that sale at DIllards???????????

<small>[ October 05, 2004, 10:46 PM: Message edited by: needtomoveon ]</small>

.and pep...you again can twist what ever you want. It's what you live for.

I want to help you with your marriage/relationship if I can. Do you have issues related to that topic?

Pep

Originally posted by CheerfulLittleOne:
Pepperband, I just did a quick run through of posts and it appears that 93.6% of the posts here pertain to the OC and dealing with OW and OC issues

In the context of marriage recovery from an affair. Are you needing help with your marriage/relationship?

Pep

we are all still woman dealing with the same issues.

HUSBANDS????????

YES!!! Now we're talking Marriagebuilding and recovery after an affair.

This place is what it is.

Pep

Buuuuuuuttttt what about that sale at Dillards???? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Let's discuss how to POJA when it is a stand-off situation in the marriage...

Pep

Darn you Pep- I don't WANNA POJA with anyone tonight.. Today, I have no patience for people who DECLARE they care not about the members here.. who dont even HINT of having a consience, a heart. Who do not support anyone here, and who dont even metion if they are married, even!

I can take opposing opinions just fine. I can POJA w/my H and get along just fine. But tonight I may be guilty of only being a BUSTER. And wanting NOT to care if I said the wrong things...

NTMO, I DON'T want to talk about the Dillard sale cause I don't have one here.... and I DONT want to get along and be mature cause I had to do that at work and at home all day/night in "real" life. I want to VENT today and sometimes I need to do it without all the consequences of having an "opinion" that is not so sweet.

Pep, what about my 14 year old who just came in and tryed to POJA me into letting him on the computer? See,some things are just too silly to put a good POJA into-- matter of fact-- I POJA'd his butt right to bed cause it IS midnight!!

I will now do ya'll a favor and go to bed. I need to wake up to a day that was not as UTTERLY CRAPPY and stressful as today was, okay!!!!

goooodnight !

Gio, I've had bad days and understand what your saying....but.......I'm really sorry you have no Dillards.....I love that store and the sales are awsome!!!! If your ever in my area we must go shopping.
To answer your question about marriage.........YES I am married legally, but have been seperated for almost 3 years. How's that for honest?

Your child will "rage" about this? How wonderfull! Will your child rage at you for being an idiot? YOU were with a married man. PERIOD. You can try to justify until the cows come home, but bottom line, that man was not available to be a father for your child PERIOD. DEAL WITH IT.

As for the RAGE your child will have. Well good. Hopefully when your child rages he will also rage at YOU for the circumstances you put him in. The fact that you are obsessed with the fact that the father left YOU and CHOSE to be with his family. YOU need to deal with that, as it was just as much YOUR fault. You want to teach your child to RAGE, where will that come from?

Bottom line is and always will be: THIS IS A SITE FOR MARRIAGES, the ow/oc needs/wishes/wants are not important here as they do not pertain at all to the marriage or the family. PERIOD

I mean that point blank. I plan to teach him to respect everything in life a person SHOULD have respect for.

cheerfullittleone, when I read this statment I almost choked on my bagel. How are you going to teach your child to respect everything in life a person should respect if you don't practice what you preach? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Oh wait unless a marriage isn't something that needs to be respected in your book.

Darn you Pep-

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ~LOL~

I don't WANNA POJA with anyone tonight..

I don't POJA other board members, and I did not intend to mislead you into thinking we should.

I changed the subject deliberately in order to refocus on MB's creative ways to solve marriage problems despite the issue of OC as an additional stressor after an A.

Today, I have no patience for people who DECLARE they care not about the members here.. who dont even HINT of having a consience, a heart. Who do not support anyone here, and who dont even metion if they are married, even!

And may I suggest, when non-marriagebuilders start their foggy babble, you spew tons of MB at them until they give up in exaspiration.


I can take opposing opinions just fine. I can POJA w/my H and get along just fine.

And THAT is the only thing that really matters. How you and your H are able to function better because of what you 2 have implemented as success tools.

But tonight I may be guilty of only being a BUSTER. And wanting NOT to care if I said the wrong things...

I don't care really, except that it tends to invite more venom from the unenlightened.

I want to VENT today and sometimes I need to do it without all the consequences of having an "opinion" that is not so sweet.

I'm not very sweet either... if you enjoy fighting and it helps you vent, who am I to say you shouldn't do that? Not me. I've been in enough word battles on MB so that I cannot point fingers. ~LOL~ If you feel like sharpening your debating claws, then it is your perogative. But be aware, it is not marriage-building


Pep, what about my 14 year old who just came in and tryed to POJA me into letting him on the computer? See,some things are just too silly to put a good POJA into-- matter of fact-- I POJA'd his butt right to bed cause it IS midnight!!

I don't POJA teenagers in my home unless I am teaching them how to POJA. The inmates cannot run the asylum! ~LOL~ I bet Justuss is doing this ---> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> as he reads this !

Pep

WRONG!!

Justuss is >>>>>>> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />