H's paternity results r in,99.9% <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />
Been Crying not because of oc ;but thought of having to deal w/his mother, it will be 18+
yrs. of hell unless she changes her thoughts about me being around the baby(witch she doesn't want to be around me) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />
Wish we could get it through her thick head, this child is a part of my H, and i could only love and carefore this child because he is my H's, that and I never ever could harm any child.
She is going to have to face that H,our children , and I are all going to have visitation w/ him as his family, a part of his (oc's) life and not hers. I am praying for oc and his mother, though it's not any easy thing to do.
My Question is what is next in cs and vistion/ custody, what should we expect. H and I are facing this together!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Angels1966,
In about 6 months....you and H will change your tune...
Give it time to settle down.

If in the end you guys want each other above all else...it/oc/ow will be of NO importance.

Prayers and peace
Debi

Hey there Angel...

Don't get so down. Have you been to court yet?

Our OW said all of those things and more. We went to court twice. Guess what the both judges said when she brought up that argument?

Neither one would listen unless she had proof of instability, stalking...etc. Our 2nd judge put some restrictions for the first 6 mos..but from then on, we're home free.

Make sure before you go to court to write down what you want. If there are any kind of restrictions. Such as....OW can't leave state without notifying father....No alcoholic beverages in home...

Beware...it works both ways. Don't get to crazy because the judge will probably hold you to those same restrictions.

Good luck....this is the worst part. Seeing that piece of paper just feels like someone ripped open your heart. But it does get better.

Love and prayers,
ent

Ent
Your right my heart does feel ripped apart <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />
No we haven't been too court yet , so thanks for the advice.
Wich comes first cs hearing or custody/ visitation hearing.
I asked H yesterday, knowing her history:one baby given up for adoption,one aborted, one child 14 men tested before finding father(also a married man) and now this child, who's life(s) will she hurt/ try to distroy next?
He said God only know's, and we both said we feel bad for that cause we know she will!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />
I thought we are to learn from our mistakes not keep repeating them!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />
He also said, if he could do it all over he would have never been involved W/ her, because of all the pain Etc., it has put Us and Our Family through. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
I really can't belive we will be helping raise a baby, we thought our baby days where over and here we are starting all over again!

Angel I am so sorry you have to join our group! But welcome aboard!

Do you guys have a good lawyer to help you through all the legalities....?

My advice to you and your H stand on a united front and document everything...do EVERYTHING through the courts....

This will insure your rights are being protected...and less chance for the OW to manipulate your future plans.

Remember its only the child you have to really deal with...you don't have to deal at all with the OW. Have absolutely everything done legally... thats how my H and I did it. We eventually got custody of our OC....

The OW in our lives..was very much against me having anything to do with her son. And you know what my lawyer said to her lawyer..."Then STOP making babies with married MEN!"

Good Luck!
wiz

wizard, been a member awhile,don't aways post though.
Thanks for the advice, we have no $$$ for a lawyer as H and I are both out of work at the moment. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
We are United front and we have/will document everything and are doing everything legally/through the courts. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
It just feels like this ow keeps making the same mistake continuosly, and others are paying for her mistakes over and over, so y should/would she learn from her mistakes if she never has to pay for them. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />
your made me lol and smile when I read
what your lawyer said" THEN STOP MAKING BABIES WITH MARRIED MEN" he really hit the nail on the head. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
Sure we don't have the same OW,lol?

Angel...

I can't say which will come first, custody or child support. Our child support came first because H filed through the state before she did. Made him look better in the eyes of the court.

We didn't have any money either. My H bartered a rifle with an attorney. Can you believe it?! We were so stressed out about everything and we finally left it in God's hands, and He came through for us. Maybe your H knows someone who might know someone.....(does that make sense? lol) who would be willing to do it that way.

Also, do most of the legwork yourself. I did most of it...I guess it was my way of "fighting" for my family. With some of the information from legal library web sites, we ended up NOT paying any back child support.

Check the court house public records. We had a no alcohol restriction put into the custody agreement. Because we found her H had 2 DWI convictions and public intoxication arrests. Sooo, the theory goes, if he ends up in trouble again....we get custody of OC.

Good luck and take a deep breath!! It will be alright.
love,
ent

Thanks for the advice Ent.,
What should i look up at legal library and library? Just point me in the right direction and I will go to it.
Liked the no alcohol idea as our OW goes out drinking and parting almost if not everyweekend: when we ran into at BMV she was getting her licsience replaece to she could go out that weekend to the bars. Also she smokes and we are concerned about 2nd hand smoke and the baby.
when A took place she told he she sold her foodstamps, unfortunatly I don't think there is a way to prove that. Is there a way to demand recipets on what cs is spent on? We don't want her to spend cs on booze etc.