I just received an health insurance claim payment notice at my home for OC. I think I got this as a mistake, but when I saw the OC's name on it with OUR last name.....I was upset. I knew the mother might use my H last name, but seeing it in print triggered me! I had thought maybe she would use her own last name to make it easier for her and the OC. She has another son from a previous marriage, so that makes 3 last names in the same family. What a mixture!

How many of you have an OC who uses your families last name? Or did the OW use her last name instead?

I have always thought that any OW who names their baby after MM is just strange/weird.

I would NOT want my child having the MM's name if I were OW. I would want the child to be my name- especially if I have one already w/ a different name. Talk about confusing for the kids.

Seems to me most OW who do this - do it just for the sake of "because I can" and because it will stir up sh*t w/the MM and his wife. Why else??
Do you have or plan on having contact? Now if you don't- thats REALLY a last ditch effort to cause waves- and just STRANGE.

It could be, however, an insurance billing error- which does happen.

Oc has his mothers maidan name. She is now married so she has her H last name as do her other kids.

Now that H has custody of his son, as soon as everything is done with the abuse hearing, he wants to change Oc last name to his. That way Oc will have the same last name as the rest of the family.

the oc in our life started out with ow last night husband went to court to cs and insisted child carry his last name. so the court approved and changed oc last to ours with jr added at the end. so there you go. I didnt really care one way or the other doesn't change the fact that the child is there <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

<small>[ October 12, 2004, 03:44 PM: Message edited by: notdoneinyet ]</small>

thats not suppose to read night but name sorry rushing

We are not having contact with OW or OC. I don't think the name on the insurance was a mistake....just the address of where to send it. I think you are right that she wants to stir things up and I don't think she is finished trying to change the outcome of the A.

We have filed with the courts to set up legal CS, but have not had a hearing yet. During the negotiations, do you think I could through that in there.....that she use her own last name and not H's?

LB- you could throw it in there, however, they will tell you the plain old truth.You can name your child ANYTHING you want to. Especially after the bio father. Heck, you could name your child Mickey Mouse if you want to..... LOL!

Dont let it bother you either way- makes no difference whatsoever to your life or marriage. You have been thru the real hard parts- this is just a little of "nothing" to get re-fueled about, if you know what I mean!

Thanks Giovanna! I know you are right about not getting "fueled up". I have been counting my blessings and there are many!! I am soooo grateful I am not her! I have to remember how well everything is going and not get out of perspective.

I do think it is selfish of her to name the OC a name of someone she has never met and may never meet, instead of her own.

Hello Lbelle,

I don't really know your story, but I can offer u this info...if your H signed the birth certificate of Oc when born, then he gets H last name. Did your H sign the Birth Certificate???

If not, then OW is using it illegally, and probably for spite. (yes, I want the whole world to know that this is his baby).... Anyway, doesn't matter one way or the other, the OC is here, and not going anywhere. Who has time for all of the games??? Some OW's can be quite petty at times. No offense to the OW's moving on with their lives.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I don't think the name on the insurance was a mistake....just the address of where to send it. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Is Oc on your H insurance?? If so then you will get a claim notice everytime they pay a bill for OC. We get one each time Xow used the insurance, sad thing that was the only way we knew J was sick or in the hospital.

Yes, my husband did sign the birth certificate and yes the OC is on his insurance through his company. I guess it shouldn't make any difference, but it still irks me. OW will probably find some chump to be husband #3 and then they can change the name if they want.

I admire all of you ladies who are attempting to share custody and bring OC into your lives. You are really putting yourselves on the line for the OC, despite the OW. My H relationship with OW was too close for me and I do not want C with OC/OW. (They reconnected at their HS reunion...they were HS BF/GF.) Maybe that will change in time. They also live 1000 miles away.

Anyway, best of luck to all of you sharing custody. Your are the best!

I gave our child MM's last name.

Then I had my last name legally changed to MM's to lessen any confusion at doctor's visits, school functions, etc.

Yep, We're all one big happy family now. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Hello Cheerfulone,

Are u joking or r u serious???? How can u legally change your last name to MM...unless u married him???

If u r joking, it is not amusing at all...if not then please clarify what u mean since u made the comment.

GoFigure,
No Joke.
It's perfectly legal for anyone to change their name, you only have to give a good reason.
My reason was that I wanted the same last name as my child, and I did not like my current last name.
Very easy to do. It consists of filling out ONE form, filing it with the court and showing up for your court date.

Any of your OW can do it too.


Names are irrelevant. I noticed someone stated above that it doesn't matter what the name is, it's STILL an OC. Very true.

Don't dwell on names, just work on your marriage. (Right Pep?)

Thanks for the info Cheerfulone...I did not know that.

UNBELIEVABLE...what next.

Do u believe u r one happy family now? Just curious.

Take care.

CLO, you are really a piece of work! That is one of the most spiteful things I have read from an OW here. You have really improved my image of the OW and her plight....(sarcasm!).

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by CheerfulLittleOne:
<strong> GoFigure,
No Joke.
It's perfectly legal for anyone to change their name, you only have to give a good reason.
My reason was that I wanted the same last name as my child, and I did not like my current last name.
Very easy to do. It consists of filling out ONE form, filing it with the court and showing up for your court date.

Any of your OW can do it too.


Names are irrelevant. I noticed someone stated above that it doesn't matter what the name is, it's STILL an OC. Very true.

Don't dwell on names, just work on your marriage. (Right Pep?) </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">OK You just made me throw up a little...

What does his wife have to say about that?

Labelle,

I am not surprised at all....

I am waiting for an answer to the one big happy family question...that will tell all...what is OW really thinking??? Is she really thinking this (maybe not all) but for the most part, of course, or they would not of started this whole charade of having a MM's baby anyway, if not to win the prize...to break up the marriage...I am sure CLO's baby's daddy's wife wants to ring her neck for that one...regardless to the sick, but self assuring reasoning that it was easier for alot of purposes...so she says.

What next? Why don't OW just move in w/ MM & family. Some Ow's have no shame, and that's ashame.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by LBelle:
<strong> CLO, you are really a piece of work! That is one of the most spiteful things I have read from an OW here. You have really improved my image of the OW and her plight....(sarcasm!). </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">She wants a rise...Don't let her get it...

OW pulled a stunt on us too way back when. She knew the kids did not know about OC. She started to send letters to the house with the OCs name all over the envelope with our last name following. The baby does not have husbands name. That was truly the most hurtful thing she has ever done. To deliberatly attempt to hurt them like that was beyond low! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />