Lori,

I saw on a post that you are in Calif. MY FWH's xow is due end of Feb/beg of March. I want to know what can I expect as far as how they figure CS or if we decide to go for C? My H has not decided yet and since we are so early in recovery I think it is too soon to tell what we can handle. XOW hates my guts even though I have been nothing but kind to her so I am not sure I ever really want to deal with her, but IF the OC is my H's C is a possibilty. Anyway, since we are a community property state it scares me what lies ahead as far as my income, our property etc.

TIA,

K

I am not in California any longer. Moved away 6 yrs ago.
What I do know is that when Tylor was born. His mother was able to put my H's name on the birth cirtificate without my H's knowledge. my H didnt have to sign any papers of acknowledgement.
Our CS ended up going thru the state of Illinios because that is where my H was stationed at the time. The state of Illinios didnt take anything into consideration. She said she didnt care if he was married and had 4 other children, he should have kept his pants zipped.
So we got slammed pretty hard for child support. (I know just what you OW want to hear.)
He had to pay almost $800. a month. We ended up loosing our home and almost everything we had and starting completly over because of it.
We did finally get it transferred to the State OW lives in and got it lowered to a reasonable amount, but it took 2 yrs to do that.
So please check with an attorney and dont go in blindsided like my H did.
(he didnt get a lawyer cuz OW told him she had dropped the case when she hadnt. (he believed her and let the attorney go)
Protect yourself and your children.

The basic of it will be about %20 of your H net (bring home) income. PLUS half of any & all daycare costs PLUS H will be required to place OC on his health insurance policy if offered through his job. The percentage changes a little when there is visitation w/ overnights.

The insurance part is a bit sticky-the orders actually say, EITHER parent is required to place child on their health insurance IF it is offered for little or no cost through their place of employment, but the state sent a letter to H job ordering him to provide it NO MATTER WHAT, even though it was costly & we could not even afford to have our own children on it.

He can request a hardship if you have extreme medical bills or children in the home but that is up to the discretion of the judge, optional not automatic. Your income will be looked @ to determine if he 'deserves' a hardship but not looked @ to determine his support obligation.

Also it depends what county you are in & the tendency of the judge. Some really are more for fathers & more for mothers. Some show leniency towards fathers if they are actually involved w/ the child. Some are actually fair or try to be.

If OW is on welfare, the DA will be helping her & will set it up automatically to be garnished from H wages. And a visitation hearing will be held separately. You can attend the hearing & hang around in the court.

If there will be visitation issues, a mediation appointment will be scheduled & attendance required for H & Ow before the visitation hearing. You will NOT be allowed into the mediation so bring a good book to read while you wait.

If there are any arrears ordered (such as if OW was on welfare) H will be responsible to pay it all back & it will be reported on his credit report as delinquent until it is all paid.

Regarding community property state: this should only affect you if there are arrears ordered for back CS and/or H becomes delinquent in paying his current CS. If that happens the state can & will report the case to the FTB & they can take your state tax refund to pay for the arrears or any delinquency.

They are only entitled to half of your federal refund IF you fill out a form called an injured (or innocent) spouse claim. If necessary they can also place a lien against your house until the CS is no longer delinquent, they can place a lien on any property you own that has H name on it.
IF he becomes delinquent the state has the right to suspend his drivers liscence as well as any business licsence he has.

If it is being handled 'privately' (ie: no welfare) then you guys can decide on an amount between yourselves & visitation as well. The state will be LESS involved this way. They can still garnish H wages automatically though.

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You can go to www.dissomaster.com to do a basic calculation to estimate what the CS would be.

Hi

I wish LynnG would step in at this point. She's invaluable in situation like this!

I was just fortunate enough to have good friends..and lawyers <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

First thing I did.. Is file a legal separation..and have all house and businesses put in my name...and filed CS for my children.

Thank heavans that my that my inlaws...had some of this in their name too.

You have to get everything legally done before this child is born. First you don't know 100% that this is going to be your H's child?? Right.

There is a lot of damage control you can do. Do you have lawyer?

wiz

Lori,KT and Wizard,

Thanks so much for your thoughtful replies. No, we don't have a lawyer yet. My H keeps insisting we don't need one yet, however now that we have confirmation of the P perhaps we will change his mind about that. I told him we have to protect ourselves before the child is born. This OW only works part-time and pretty much lives off CS and the good graces of her two exes. So first thing we need a good lawyer. K

<small>[ October 27, 2004, 09:00 AM: Message edited by: killnme ]</small>

Just to touch on a couple of things: YOU cannot be ordered to provided health insurance for the child. If your H does not have insurance available to him at a “reasonable” cost, then he may have to contribute to, if not pay the full premium for OW to cover child (if she has medical insurance available to her). Also, wage garnishment is not automatic, unless the District Attorney is involved (for the purpose of recovering monies on the state’s behalf and to ensure that the child does not become a “burden” to the state). In my situation, I decided to forego the wage assignment. The paperwork WAS drawn up, and actually got the judge’s signature, but I didn’t file it. It was assumed that I wanted it, but I didn’t feel it was necessary. Also, with regard to the birth certificate, the law changed a few years back and the alleged father, if not married to the mother, cannot be placed on the birth certificate unless he signs it as well. If the alleged dad is not around, the space is left blank.

OB1

K, first and foremost, get an attorney! Do it now and see what your LEGAL options are. Laws are changing though out the states. I do know that here in the south, they do allow for the children we have. But so you dont do anything that would be considered not legal, and in the long run hurt your family, get the attorney to tell you what needs to be done. Cover your butt kinda thing. What I am allowed to do in the south, north, east coast my be different in your area. And on another note, this is a public board, and what you say here just might have a chance of using against you. But there are plenty of ladies here willing to give thier emails for private talks. But I would ask my attorney first about any of this.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny D

Sorry it's been a few days since I've been on...As far as the support etc goes. You must first establish paternity. If the OW wants support and is on welfare as someone else already said...the district attorney works for her. They will retireve any money's the state has put out for the child.
As for the rest I'm unsure...I'm just knew to all this as well and just really getting into it.

Sorry I couldn't be of more help!
Lori H