Well ladies, just another little message of hope to you all...

H is at this moment at CS determination hearing w/xOW.

I don't feel nervous. I don't feel anxious. I did not want to go w/him. I do not care that he is there with "her" and not "me". I don't want to cry or feel sad.

Last hearing he had some months ago, I sat here at work sick to my stomach till the hearing was thru.. I held back tears all day. I hid it so well at work but boy was my stomach twisted in knots.

I met H afterwards for lunch that day- and it was the first time I was able to offer my assistance w/his woes... I was able to reach across the table and offer him my support in whatever may come. It was very, very hard to not make it about "me" in any way. It was my first stab at sucking a little bit of anger, pride and fear up, and just being strong when I did NOT feel it inside...

But today, no matter WHAT happens at court, I can deal with it. Today I feel at peace and this is one more small victory for our marriage! I am able to sit here at work and feel calm and feel as if it is any other day of the year! I am not worried about "what if's" .. I did not feel any need whatsoever to even be there- I declined as in this case, I feel ignorance is bliss (as to what OW looks like..if she brought oc, ect...).

My H and I cuddled in bed this morning, laughed, I helped him organize his papers, made him coffee... and it all came natural.

I do hope and pray, though, that H doesn't get put thru the ringer somehow. There are no attorneys involved, as we did not really need one while H has limited income due to a work related surgery he just had- not receiving much $$ so it was a good time for this hearing.

I never would imagine I could feel this way or be this calm and rational... so again, girls, there is hope and peace that comes bit by bit with time.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ October 20, 2004, 09:44 AM: Message edited by: giovanna123 ]</small>

My mom never got involved in that stuff either. She left it to the lawyers. Let us know what happens.

Yeah, I released that burden to H a long time ago (the court stuff, lawyes... stres... etc.!) He is not my child - he needs to do this on his own!! I cannot save him from this and did not chose to help him overall.

Since I have worked in the legal field my entire working career, I KNEW I'd get WAY too caught up in the drama- I would take it much too far and have my nose way too far into the legalities, rules, etc.. and on this one, I just could not afford emotionally to do so!!

I don't want to sit w/my H in this depressing court.. its dismal in there and loaded w/a bunch of "characters".. ICK!!

<small>[ October 20, 2004, 10:20 AM: Message edited by: giovanna123 ]</small>

I hear you. Mom never got involved in all that drama. She has never even spoken to the OW as far as I know. She has always refused to acknowledge her or be engaged in any type of conversation. When OW would call the house she would hang up and all e-mails/letters were forwarded to the lawyer. I think she spared herself a lot of emotional pain by not getting involved with all that crap. It also made healing a lot faster. You will be in my thoughts today. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

So how did it go?