My H whom I love very much wants to get custody of the oc, not happy about having to pay the ow all that damn money when she is doing nothing with herself or the child. Ow wants the oc to live in our home but will not but want to keep control over oc and get him dropped off at the drop of a dime because she has no car and wants her damn son. As much as I love this man I stand back in utter anger how silly acting these two are. Hey H you screwed her and am sure you enjoyed it did you not know where babies come from or was you just having too much fun to even care. ow did't care because she was just having a good time and oh yeah he use to talk bad about me and say how unhappy he was. blah blah blah same old song, so she justifies her relationship. Ow was just doing and believing what he said. Ow woman didnt do any wrong she was not the one married right? She didn't step out on her family My H did. Oh and another thing she knows how much he is out of the home because of the time they spent when they were holding eachother or better yet doing it. I personally dont give a rats A$$ how much money my husband has to pay because I refuse to punish my self because of two people who didnt know what the hell they were getting themselves into. I love oc dearly and when he is away miss his big brown eyes when he is not around, but I cant keep from feeling stupid or used by the both of them. For instance I have a 2004 car that Im giving up because I took a job that pays less money, and husband cant help anymore outside responsibilities. This sucks and I dont feel good about it. I told H last night that until he becomes unselfish about how he is dealing with the oc situation I did not want to take on that much responsibility of raising the oc. Who thinks about my feelings my needs and wants in all this. I feel like the go between. Heck I believe H should be doing everything imaginable to make me feel like I have a leg to stand on about oc, but I just feel like Im thrown in the middle and dont know which way to turn. I guess Im just angry at the fact that this all just sucks real bad. I dont want to just say to hell with the oc because it is not the childs fault, and I dont think that I could sleep at night taking a child away from his father. I want to do the right thing but sometimes it just hurts so bad. I remember the times my husband did not come home at night and how lonely I was, and the thought of him laying up with her having fun. The times I could not get a hold of him for days, would not answer his cell. Why shouldn't I be angry why should I not need to vent? He was somewhere in the mist of creating a child a son at that, his first son a jr. Why wouldn't I think that other woman laughs behind my back because of course she is getting a piece of the pie. She will get benefits until oc is grown. Hey the only thing she doesn't get is another night with my H. My first child with my H and is oc is older, take that kick in the face. I have every right to be angry that the special thing that suppose to happen between husband and wife happened to her first. Ok gotta go back to work.....


whew feels good sometimes to just let it all out!

ndy, Yep I think you should feel better now. It does help to get things out and its hard for your H to understand your feeling w/o the LB'ing all over the place. Not wanting to pay c/s is NOT a reason to seek custody. Is the ow willing to give up custody? If not it is a long hard road. Tell your H in the best non LB'ing kind of was that you yourself just lost a child and that you both need some time to weigh what is best for you and your family and the oc involved. If its something you dont want to happen, tell him. I hope you are feeling better and this week gets better. Pray about the past and the feelings of anger you have and yes you do have the right to be angry. But if you want to work on your M you have to get past it. And you know this is a great place to blow it out! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> And the blessings you will receive for doing what is right, will now day out weigh the pain and the hurt. And our oc is a son, but both our children will be same in our eyes, son or D! All this hoopla about the son,boy thing is way off! And my D has the *****(lastname) blood running though her til the day she dies and she will always be a ****** (last name)no matter what her las name becomes in later years. So boy girl doesn't make a difference. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> But I thought I would send you a hug ! ((((((((HUG)))))) and tell you are not alone, vent away!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> Sunny D

your right but just sucks sometimes. I want to always do the right thing but I cant stand it when ow throws up in my face that it is her son. Its her son when she wants things the way she wants. H and I have not seen him for two weeks and was thinking of picking him up this evening. I just wish that I could get over the hurt quick, and life would resume as normal and H and I would never disagree on the matter.